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Claudette Pretorius, MA Counselling Psychology
Licensed Professional Counselor
I know how overwhelming it can feel when you're having a tough time. I offer clients a space that is non-judgemental and empathetic whilst navigating these times together.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 8th, 2018 5:38pm
I’d recommend asking her straight out how she feels about you, if you’re comfortable with that. If you’d prefer not to do that, you usually can tell by subtle things she does, like how she first reacts when she sees you or if she seems to enjoy talking to you.
Anonymous
April 5th, 2018 4:13pm
Well this question can definitely be brought up in a very humorous way if you don't find yourself being escorted out of the house and you're in good standings
You can tell she likes you if she shows you respect and is willing to listen to you, just as she would her son or daughter
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 10:49am
The way she acts around you. If she's pleasant and happy to have your company. Most importantly, if she respects you the same way you do her.
If she complains a bit about you, your decision, your looks, your household, your work... Well then she likes you. If a mother in law does not like you don't have to ask... YOU KNOW.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2018 4:53pm
I would say her actions but people can fake that. Talk to her and ask. You’ll only get an answer if you go to the source. Just ask her to please be honest with you. If she does like you that’s great and if she doesn’t, maybe you can find out why and try to work from there.
Anonymous
July 14th, 2018 12:06am
She generally initiates pleasant conversations, her demeanor becomes warmer around you, she acts kind around you, and she may even talk highly of you.
Anonymous
July 20th, 2018 1:25am
It may take a while for her to warm up to you because she will most likely be protective of her son or daughter. She'll probably show she likes you when she asks about you, when she involves you in planning family activities, and when she shows interest in getting to learn more about you or your family.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2018 3:12pm
Be open about your feelings, it's a common problem that many newly weds face. If you feel as though she doesn't like you, invite her over more and be warm to her.
Talk to her and ask about the things she is interested in. When you are both relaxed in the conversation you can ask more directly about her impressions of you.
She's gracious, includes you, and makes you feel welcome into her life. I wouldn't focus on "if she likes me", if she hasn't demonstrated that she disliked you.
Anonymous
November 8th, 2018 4:01am
People show you who they are and how they feel about you by how they behave. Does she treat you kindly or poorly? Try and evaluate her objectively and without projecting your worries onto the situation. Looking past personal filters of perception, go ahead and trust what you see by how she directly speaks to you, acts towards you and treats you. This should tell you everything you need to know. But if you want to remove all the guesswork and remove 100% doubt than choose the straightforward approach instead: Just ask her directly if she likes you or not.
You can't just tell if someone like you or if they don't. You just feel it, you know? It's something that you get to realize over time and it is a very personal thing. You are the only one who can know if she likes you or if she does not like you. The way she treats you and the way she talks to you and even the way she acts when you are around her will let you understand better whether she like you or not. I hope it all goes alright with you and you can understand .
Mother-in-law relationships are notoriously tricky. They don't have to be. It is one of those places where the golden rule should reign supreme. Treat her as you would hope she would treat you. Try being warm, open, respectful and loving. You will be doing your spouse a great favor by attempting to have a healthy relationship with your mother-in-law. You can't control how she will behave in the relationship, but you are in charge of how you behave. Most parents want a good relationship with the spouse of their child, but sometimes they don't know the best way to form a healthy relationship either. Just focus on treating her kindly, for the sake of your marriage and your children/future children.
Just observe how she acts when you are around, and how she talks to you and about you! Also, talk to your partner about your relationship with his or her mother. There is no sure way to tell whether someone likes being around you or not, but you can for sure look for signs, and there are always ways that you can build, cultivate, or improve a familial relationship. Bet wishes to you and your family! Feel free to ask questions or connect with an experienced listener anytime you need support or help. Have an awesome day today too!
from,
-peacefulLight
Anonymous
November 21st, 2019 9:37pm
Well, back in the days, even now mother in laws are always harsh on their daughter in laws, or son in laws cause they think we are not good enough for their daughter or son, or are just not fully ready to accept the fact that their daughters are now women, and sons are now men. However, knowing if a mother in law likes you is much like knowing if a person likes you. You will see signs of kind gestures, respect, she's want to involve you in things for example events and so forth. Hope that helps you, or the answer you're looking for.
Anonymous
December 8th, 2019 4:08pm
If you're comfortable, ask her how she feels about your relatiinshiop with her. If you aren't comfrtable asking her directly, get your spouse's opinion as s/he may have better insight. At the end of the day, what anyone thinks of you should not be a concern. We will always have people who dislike us for "no reason". As long as you are comfortable with yourself and not intentionally causing pain ir grief, what someone thinks of you is not your struggle to bear. Why let their negative energy drain you? And when in doubt, communicate! What you may be thinking could be completely opposite to the reality of the situation.
I would say that you should watch the way that she interacts with you. Watch her body language because it tells a story without words. Watch how when you are with her in public if she treats you the same. If she treats you the same in public and in private she probably likes you. Also, ask your wife how she feels your mother thinks about you. Ask your wife if her mother says negative comments about you. Many times following our instinct is a good source because most of the time we have the ability to discern a person's vibes.
You can tell if your mother in law likes you if you watch her deeds. Does she invite you to her family gatherings, does she responds to your invitations to family gatherings, does she cook good meals for you on family gatherings, does she present you with gifts on birthdays, christmas, etc, how does she talk to you, does she like to talk to you, does she ever help you if you need it (it can be physical help such as caring for your children or driving you to doctor if you can't drive at this moment), etc. How do eventuel conflicts with her get resolved? There are many more indicators which can tell you whether she likes you.
There is no sure way of telling if anyone likes you or not, most people are kind in nature so they will not set on to their true feelings. But I would imagine that she would tell you if she did not like you! Just be you! Your opinion, and the opinion of your spouse is all that matters. Normally mothers just want what is best for their child, so if she sees that you make them happy, she should like you. And if not, she has to live with that, not you. Just keep on doing what you are doing and be happy!
It is common to question if a person really likes us, especially when we have doubts about ourselves. Sometimes we don't like ourselves and think that people around us feel the same way, and if they say they do like us, we keep questioning and assuming it is a lie. Well, It is possible that "mother in law" does not like you; then it probably would be pretty obvious, look for signs: avoids conversations, trying to take a son away, invites her son over alone. However, if it is your doubts, think about your relationships with yourself. Is it her who does not like you or you do not like yourself. Then It is helpful to work on self-esteem.
She is kind to you, helps you, both when you ask for help and when you dont, she is respectful, she talks to you about mutual interests, she spends time with you, she is nice to you even when you two are alone and not only when your father is around, she wants to spend time with you, she asks for your opinion, she is friendly, she doesnt avoid you, she gives you presents, she compliments you, she wants you to be a part of her life, important events, she wants whats best for you, she gives you advice.
Normally, one just knows if others like them or not or even how much. There are several ways people show their interest or affection in others and it pretty much depends on their personalities. The various messages can be combined: facial expression, listening or talking mode, posture, or gestures, to name a few. However, it does happen from time to time that some people are always in neutral mode, so it makes it more difficult to "read" them and the best measure you have then is that nothing negative comes out from them to you. Others do not always open up immediately, so this requires patience. Hang in there.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2020 3:33pm
This is a tough one! Many mother in laws (nearly all) tend to have a protective shield over their child. Who wouldn't? Respect is a key element in any relationship, and so it comes back to you when you give it. Tough love is a motherly instinct, so do not expect to win her over in a short while. She has known her child her whole life and so it will take you some time to establish a parent child relationship with her. If you think she is being cold towards you, she is probably just trying to test you! Do not worry, it will be okay in the end.
You can tell if your mother in law likes you by the way she behaves or looks. Facial expressions and body language can give you an idea of how she thinks of you. If you don't see her in person, you can reach out to her via text, email, or call and try to have a normal conversation with her. Hopefully she will appreciate your efforts to build a closer relationship because this is how you can know for sure if she likes you or not. If she doesn't like you, don't worry too much about it. She might just not be comfortable and needs time to get to know you better. Hope this helps!
Mother-daughter relationship is a simple but complex issue, it is simple in that the mother is always selfless and ungrudging to you, but also because of this, both mother and daughter worry more. I have a good relationship with my mother. I would like to give you the following suggestions. I hope they will be helpful to you. First, as children, we should know that what mothers do for us is good for us as a starting point, so when parents raise objections to some of our practices, do not rush to defend themselves for the sake of conflict. This is caused by the different values between the two generations.
You should be able to tell by her body language around you as well as how she speaks to you when your significant other is not around you both at the same time. If your mother in law likes you, she would want to spend extra time with you outside of normal family gatherings. She will also want to get to know you as a person not just as your significant others spouse or the in law. She would also make sure you felt comfortable while meeting new members of the family or when you are new at family gathering.
Anonymous
August 21st, 2020 11:26pm
I think it's pretty natural to have doubts. First of all, I highly doubt that she actually dislikes you. She may think she dislikes you and may even act like it, but it is far more likely that she is just worried about her child progressing through life and going into a marriage. Now it could also just be you being paranoid. Think about why you think she may not like you and try to rationalize with those doubts. What are they based on? Are they based on anything that actually happened? etc. I hope you're able to figure this out but again, she probably doesn't dislike you.
Its the same way you can tell if someone dislikes you :)
Try to find the reactions of the person , at times its their vibe that can give you an idea of how they are around you and how they react to your actions.
if you are trying to get someone to like you, well dont beat yourself too hard , people will end up liking and disliking you for their own reasons , try to like yourself and if their opinion matters then also try to be helpful and something they want.
Not sure if its going to work in your favor forever but short term that will do the trick.
Anonymous
December 5th, 2020 9:22pm
If she treats you like her own mother or son, then she probably likes you. This is good because whoever you marry, you marry their whole family too so getting along with your mother-in-law is always advisable and a good sign. If she does acts of services and shows her love through these actions, that is also probably another sign. Also, showing that you respect your family in-laws is also a good indicator of a healthy relationship with your spouse as well as gaining respect from your mother-in-law. Overall, if she shows you love in a language that is similar to how she shows your spouse, you're in good hands.
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