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How can I tell my mother I'm pregnant?

111 Answers
Last Updated: 10/27/2020 at 9:55am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
MoonlitHaze
April 29th, 2016 3:41pm
I honestly don't think there is an obvious wrong or right way to do it. Either way, (also depending on your age) it's going to be a surprise. If you are a minor or relatively young I would just start out with "Mom, I really need to talk to you about something, and please know that this is not an easy thing for me to tell you, but you're my mom and if I can't go to you about this, then who?" Make her feel like you're telling her because you trust her and want her help and support. Don't go about it in a "This is my life, my choices. Like it or not." (unless you are an adult of course) Make her feel like you need her. If you're scared don't be afraid to let her know that. It will make her want to comfort you rather than make you feel worse. (Of course this varies on person to person, depending on both of you and your relationship) Ask her for tips. Options. Anything. If she flips out or is just plain shocked and can't talk to her, understand the position she is in too. Give her time to accept it and work through her first feelings. You can even say, "Mom, I know this might be shocking and we can talk more about this later if you want, but, I'm pregnant, and I just felt like thats something I shouldnt keep from you." If she flat out groans and walks away, then leave it at that. At least she knows, and eventually she will probably talk to you about it another time, probably with something like, "So, what are you going to do?" Or, "Who is the father?" Be prepared because chances are you will get a buttload of questions, so start thinking of some answers.
Anonymous
May 1st, 2016 1:09am
Wow, there is a lot of advice here and you probably don't need any more. I'll just tell you what happened when my daughter faced that situation. She was date raped and decided she couldn't possibly carry to term. She assumed that I would not agree with her decision , but she had the courage to tell me anyway. When I had that happen to me a very lone time ago, I couldn't tell my mother- or anyone. I was proud to be the kind of mother that accepted her choice and supported her 100 %. But back to how she "broke the news" - She said, Mom can we take a walk? I know it was something serious, but I think the "walking" helped us both. We didn't have to constantly look each other in the eye during the conversation, and the movement helped to keep us breathing! When we got back home, we had set upon a plan, and I'll always be grateful that she trusted me- I feel your mom will too- even though I don't know her or your relationship. I'm just sharing my own experience. Wishing you all well.
JustMeAndYou
January 14th, 2016 11:10am
You have to reach acceptance with who you are and your current situation, make sure you are comfortable and in good spirits with your mother before you break the news. Be open with her, she raised you from the very start and she'll be invaluable to helping you do the same! Be aware that everyone would be nervous to tell their parents but through grace and patience you will tell her when the time is right :)
Truckerwife08
January 22nd, 2016 9:30pm
Shell eventually find out. Sometimes its best to just tell her. Even if it hurts her or even yalls relationship.
Anonymous
July 6th, 2016 1:26pm
Nothing can work better than face to face confrontation. Never do it in a letter or text, words on a screen or paper can never express emotion.
Anonymous
January 28th, 2016 6:17pm
Sit her down and tell her in a calm manner that your pregnant or if your not comfortable with that maybe try writing her a letter
Mia7077Soul
March 25th, 2016 6:27am
Take her to a place she feels comfortable in , do the things she likes you to do all day , and try telling her over dinner with quite and calm voice.
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 4:12am
jus take her to a better place where she like and explain the situation calmy and then explain your story
MisterHarry77
February 21st, 2016 4:30pm
Tell her that you have to tell her something extremely important and then surprise the shit out of her!
undergroundghouls
May 31st, 2016 7:43pm
This depends on what you want to do with the pregnancy. Of course, you should be honest with her, your mother is there to support you.
RogerDan555
June 17th, 2016 4:56am
You can let her know about it. Just sit and talk. Chances are, she might get angry at that moment, but after all she's your mother. She will understand you.
Supergirl94
June 16th, 2016 8:24am
Be honest and do it sooner than later. I would sit her down, let her know it is something important. There is no easy way to tell her so do it the best you can, be conscious of your feelings and hers
Victoriaalexandraa
June 12th, 2016 9:16am
Sit down with her and be honest about the situation, i am sure she will be understanding. Good luck with it.
takecaremydear
June 11th, 2016 6:43am
When you are pregnant you should fond your child before they take it from you!!! Your mum is perhaps not interested in this and you just should ask her first, if she likes your boyfriend. But be ware that she won't make you brake up when you really love your boyfriend.
Anonymous
June 10th, 2016 6:19pm
Start off slowly, don't come out right away- if she doesn't know already, start off by telling her you had sex. Explain what happened, why it was you got pregnant. Remember that almost everyone has a first time, and she'll be aware of that- she might even be glad that you told her instead of hiding it. I've been through this situation before personally. You'll be okay. Stay calm, don't sound all over the place. You can do it!
Flyby
June 4th, 2016 5:40am
It may take some time for your mother to absorb the news. It would be much harder in circumstances where your parents mightn't accept the news positively at first, for they worry for your future. But either way, your mother will be wanting to be supportive of you in your decisions. You must first find the words that you want to say to your mother. Something along the lines of ''I have something I need to tell you. I found out I'm pregnant.'' Then be prepared to deal with any sort of reaction that might come to play. It helps to tell your mother that you understand their feelings etc. But you must also tel her how you feel. Talking through your decisions will make everything a lot easier in the end. The most important thing overall is for you to protect yourself.
Anonymous
June 3rd, 2016 6:54pm
Ask her if she could speak quietly with you for a bit, with no one else around if you prefer. Always consider the situation and your mother personality and think of the better way to approach it.
Oniichan
June 2nd, 2016 10:24am
Before you tell her anything make sure you prepare exactly how you will explain things. You know your mother better than I do, so you know how they news should be broken to her. Mentally prepare yourself for how she might react. You know your mom! She will either be understanding or critical of you, so prepare yourself!
PoliteOcean
June 2nd, 2016 6:06am
That can be a scary time for any female. Everyone's situation is different. Being pregnant or becoming a parent can bring MANY mixed feelings and emotions and can be a very overwhelming time no matter where you are in life. The first thing you need to ensure is the physical health of both you and your child as well as your own emotional health. Also having support is very important to ensure that you are receiving BOTH during your pregnancy. Also, a pregnancy if you intend to move forward with it, is not something that you can continue to hide from others. So when you feel that you are emotionally ready to share that news, then it should be shared with those closest to you so that they have the opportunity to support you. Sure it might be scary at first, and tough, but you might find that it won't be as scary of a turnout as you thought it would be. Its important to build up a support network during your pregnancy. So talking to your healthcare provider/Obstetrician would be the best thing in getting you the proper and best resources available to you. Just remember to try to be as honest and upfront as you can be during this time. Once you are honest with yourself and others (including your mom) you may find that this turns out to be one of the most joyful times of your life. Good Luck!
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2016 3:10am
I thought that I at one point I was pregnant. Being a freshman in college, I knew for a fact my mom would find this inexcusable, as sex before marriage is not acceptable in my family. Although I took the test and found out I was actually not pregnant, my mom didn't believe it quite yet. After a couple days, she told me if you're pregnant we need to know, so we can prepare for this. Hearing that come out of her mouth was the greatest feeling ever, had I been pregnant she would have been a great support system, with this being something un planned. . She had compassion in her voice, as she spoke those words. You may be surprised by the response that you're mother may entail. You need to simply tell her and ask her to be that support system you need. If you're mother truly loves you; which I'm sure she does; she will be there for you through it all.
Anonymous
June 1st, 2016 6:42pm
Make sure you're first. Then you will say it and how this happened,but tell all the TRUTH?! because it will be really effective maybe first cannot be so positive because of her reaction but then believe me it will have positive effect.
Anonymous
June 1st, 2016 9:20am
Be honest from the start. Trying to hide it will only make it harder to share the news. Simply explain you have been blessed with a beautiful gift and you will use what she has taught you in life as encouragement in your future endeavors.
Anonymous
May 20th, 2016 8:06pm
Sit her down and tell here calmly, think about how you would like to be told and work from there. it's beter to tell her as soon as you can and get it in the open
WinterFlute
May 15th, 2016 9:41pm
Depends on whether you are married or not. If not married, you gotta ask her first in a comfortable way that how will she react if she gets to know that you are pregnant.
Ayeeitsbrii
May 18th, 2016 12:17am
Just come out to her. The faster you do it the better for you and the baby, have her sit sown with you after school and work and just tell her everything and tell her what you want to do.
Anonymous
May 19th, 2016 1:12am
You should calmly tell her that you have happy news. I wouldn't cut straight to the chase but slowly and calmly tell her.
ZafarYounis
May 19th, 2016 1:18am
I'm a bloke, so it's not biologically possible for me to be pregnant. My mom would probably collapse laughing if I told her that.
TwentySomethingDan
May 19th, 2016 7:40pm
It may be very hard, but you need to be brave and honest. You're going to need help in the coming months. You can't let fear control your life or stop you from doing the right thing. There will always be fear in your life and there will always be consequences. Believe in the love that a Mother and Daughter share and tell her. Please take my energy with you and be brave!
Anonymous
May 20th, 2016 5:46pm
Well im not sure how old are you and thats why you dont know how to tell her but she find her at a time shes alone and calm and tell her youre pregnant
Anonymous
May 27th, 2016 3:02am
Probaly just ask her "would you be mad if i was pregnant?" if she says yes get someone else to if she says no then just tell her