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Danielle Johnson, MSED, Community mental Health Counseling, LMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Sometime situations and feelings can be so strong that we struggle to function. You are not alone! My practice is flexible and open-minded and tailored to your personal needs.
Top Rated Answers
Explain to her that her son is very important to you. That you need her to give you two space and you would really appreciate it.
Anonymous
June 16th, 2016 1:57pm
Try asking her what's wrong or if you did something wrong. Try asking nicely and talk to her personally
You need to speak respectfully to her, something along the lines of "i appreciate your help and siggestions, but this is something for ntself & spouse to deal sith by ourselves.
Firstly, say something positive, such as her daughter/son is lucky to have such a doting mother. Then tell her that you are concerned that she seems to be overly worried about how you are handling your family. Ask her what concerns her that makes her feel she must be so involved. Try to assure her that you are equally loving and supportive of your family and have hopes that she will trust you and feel free to spend more time with her favorite hobbies, etc.
Anonymous
July 1st, 2016 5:34pm
I would basically have a calm relaxed chat with her on what's bothering you in a positive calm manner.
You could try telling her that you need some space. She might not understand that you can handle things on your own.
Try something nicer and don't be too rude or you'll destroy your relationship with her. Maybe you'll find a common language with her after all
Anonymous
July 8th, 2016 12:33pm
behave nicely and then tell her that you can do it by yourself.. if she doesn't back off talk with her in an open manner.
Anonymous
July 9th, 2016 4:51am
You could try just telling her "back off," as a last resort. To start, maybe tell her that she's a bit too close, and that she's making you uncomfortable.
Have a grown up conversation with your mother in law and tell her calmly yet assertively that you do not like what she is doing and wish that she would back off.
Anonymous
July 21st, 2016 11:09pm
if she has done something very unbearable then sure but i recommend talking out your problems with her
You just have to be bold about this stuff. Address her with what you think to be the problem. and sit down with her and talk it out, in a nice manner.
Anonymous
August 10th, 2016 6:55am
Perhaps explain that you're coping with things the best you can and would appreciate some space at the moment.
Can I have some additional information about the situation? It sounds like you're frustrated with her.
That is a tough situation. Talking to her in a calm manner and listening to what she has to say may be a good stepping stone.
You can tell her that this is my relationship that I need to focus on and I understand that you want to be involved, but I would appreciate you respect my relationship
Be soft but confident and serious. Search for the right words to make your point but not hurt her feelings. Maybe get help from your husband?
Do you need to establish boundaries, or establish control? These are two separate items. Establishing boundaries puts a hand between you and them. Control is action that puts you in the driver's seat. Other details could not only aid in selection and tailor the approach, but add other options.
Which one feels the most comfortable? When your world is at peace, which one is more authentic to who you are?
Do what you feel is best for you and when confronted with anger or dissatisfaction by your mother in law use the power of the "I" statements.
Anonymous
September 16th, 2016 12:39pm
Maybe just sit down and talk to her while being gentle and firm. It is very important to keep a good relationship with the in-laws. Just explain to her your side .
Tell her that her involvement in your relationship is affecting to you and your relationship and you and your partner (his son) need to work through your issues. Let her know you appreciate and love her but you both need to make mistakes on your own and build your relationship without her involvement. Basically let her know how you feel about her involvement and that there needs to be some boundaries. Tell her your willing to sit down and work out some boundaries if she is willing so that everyone will be happy and live in peace. How things is going is not healthy for you, relationship and her. Do it in a loving way, cast no judgments and try not to bring up the past. No matter what, no argument, speak in a respectable manner. let her feel value as you need peace so its important she feels value and love
Anonymous
September 28th, 2016 3:11pm
First make sure your wife is on the same page. Secondly she probably should be the one to talk to her mother. Third, keep it respectful and that you do value her opinion and know she ultimately probably only wants what is best for you, but you two have to be the ones figure out your lives.
Telling family members to back off is always tricky, because they rarely take it well. Is having your spouse speak to mom an option, or at least both of you together discussing your concern?
It is natural for your mother-in-law to be very involved at times, especially when she's attached to her child. Firmly, but politely, you should communicate to her how and why you don't like her involvement. As important as she is as a mother to your partner, she should know that your partner is important to you too.
Anonymous
October 9th, 2016 11:22pm
I know you are trying to be helpful mom but (I) we (am) are trying find (my) our way together. Thank you for your concern but I have this situation covered right now.
Gently. Try it out with your husband or wife. You should choose the right words to get your point across so she won't be offended
It can be difficult! The best thing to do is talk it through with your partner and just be polite.
The best thing to do is to talk to her about your feelings, and what is bothering you. Try not to cause conflict between the two of you, it will only strain your relationship/s.
Anonymous
November 11th, 2016 8:04am
Explain to her that you feeling overwhelmed and try to get her to understand how you feel. Then ask after she understands how you feel ask her very politely to give you some more space.
Approach her kindly and be nice about try subtly telling her before putting it out there straight away as it could cause a lot of friction in the family relations. If telling her subtly doesn't work then you could maybe try a more direct method
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