How can I tell my parents they're expecting too much of me?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 04/30/2018 at 7:33pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Kelly Horton, PsyD

Psychologist

Sometimes life can feel overwhelming due to depression or anxiety. I work with my clients in a nonjudgmental, supportive, way to find their voice and reclaim their lives.

Top Rated Answers
emmynems
November 2nd, 2014 9:58pm
Telling you're parents that they're expecting too much of you can be a really hard thing to do. I know in my situation, I feel like it's the least I can do to meet my parents exceptions considering how much they've done for me. From personal experience, I would recommend sitting them down in a non-combative way and express your feelings to them. Don't take the route of anger because that will only cause the situation to escalate before you can really talk about anything. Calmly express your feelings to them and communicate as best as you can so they can understand what you're feeling. You'd be surprised at their own ability to reflect and help fix the situation.
Kathlyng90
October 24th, 2014 11:51pm
You have to tell them directly just that. Your parents love you and want only the best for you I am sure. Sit down with them and say calmly, you are trying your best and you feel the pressure they're putting on you is too much and they are expecting over what you are capable of right now.
Anonymous
November 2nd, 2014 7:10pm
Irony is that you probably can't in a way they will understand and more importantly accept it. Not knowing more i can not give you an universal answer.So i will tell you how can you cope. Knowing those shoes i can assume you are feeling too much pressure that leads to plain pointless stress , maybe even anger or anxiety . Having sad that you need to realise you are not here to please anyone or rather even if you wanted to you probably understand by now it is impossible. Be your self and try to be the best You you can be. It will make you feel happy and than some of that can spill on other people in your environment. Also it might help if you try to understand there point of view and by NO circumstances do you repeat my mistake of arguing with your family or trying to make them understand your point of view. It never works just makes everyone stressed. Don't argue and do your best . Much love and good luck :)
Anonymous
June 17th, 2015 5:29am
You could try sharing your feelings about this with them, at a time when you are all calm and open to talking.
mayank4u
October 27th, 2014 11:21am
every parents expect too much from their children as they want best for them But every child is not same and every child is unique. Tell them that too much burden and pressure making you unhappy and you are not able to preform well.
Anonymous
December 23rd, 2015 3:59am
When you believe someone expects too much of you, or much more than you can handle, you have two options; to sink or to swim. To sink involves giving them the power while submitting and nonverbally informing them "I'm beat, done, and defeated." To sink is when you say you cannot accomplish something, for it is too much to handle. To swim involves proving them wrong and nonverbally informing them "Yeah, I can do it." To swim is to take on all challenges and expectations, and to accomplish them. How is this done? Simply through perserverance and determination. You may have to cancel going to that party, or refuse to go to that movie or person's house, and it could even just be simply working on the mission before you sleep or during your free time. However in the end, when all the time spent working adds up, and the task is accomplished, you have completed what you chose to do, and swam.
AgusD96
March 13th, 2018 12:47am
The best choice with parents is to never confront violently. You have to be respectful, and also be self-confident with what you're going to tell so that they respect you too. For parents its easy to impose themselves and if they see you are "weak" they'll take advantage of that. So you should go to them, straight forward, ask them to talk about something that is making you feel bad, and with all certainty, tell them what you think.
WonderlandDream3
October 23rd, 2014 4:05pm
Sit them down and do so calmly. Tell them you want to make them proud but that sometimes they want too much from you
BroadwayBaby
November 17th, 2014 4:37pm
Just be yourself. They're your parents. Be honest and talk to them. After all, they're your parents and they love you.
Anonymous
December 27th, 2014 11:40pm
Try saying you feel overworked. Parents often expects a lot from children because they want them to have good jobs in the future, it is often because they love you but instead they make the child feel overwhelmed. Try not too think about it too much as hard as it sounds, it might be just because they just loves you :)
Anonymous
January 2nd, 2015 1:40am
Being honest with them and telling them that you can't fufill every expectation as it will hurt both of you equally.
SoulSailing2015
January 7th, 2015 12:20pm
Just speak to them in a calm matter, explain to them that you're beginning to feel stressed and you're trying to do the best you can possibly do .
Anonymous
August 17th, 2015 3:44pm
Be open and honest with them. Tell them what you are reaching towards and want to accomplish Then go on to let them know what they are expecting of you is beyond what you are capable of right now.
Skyletmax
November 10th, 2015 10:01am
Tell them that your not what they think.. And also tell them that you have your own dream and wanted to be..
dalya123
December 26th, 2015 12:48pm
You just have to tell them. Your parents love you and want you to have a bright future. Parents are in this world to protect us and help us they are like the source of guideline to you. They guide you to the right path. So you have to sit down and talk to them because all they want is you being happy
Anonymous
October 25th, 2016 5:33am
Well the normal way is to sit and talk.... but the other way is to show them , what you are good at. I believe w=every human being is different , special and talented in his/her own way. So best way according to me is to show them where you are good at! Not tell them ,show them!
ams96
September 4th, 2017 7:18pm
Sit them down and let them know that you feel they expect too much out of you. Let them know you are doing your best and you want them to be proud of you always, but them expecting too much causes you to feel a certain way.
JayBird2395
March 12th, 2018 7:39am
You need to be honest with parents. Often they don't understand that they're being unreasonable. Often having a trusted adult or friend to back you up can also cement your position.
naturalBlossom98
April 30th, 2018 7:33pm
You could try to sit down with them and calmly tell them that you are only capable of doing so much. If you are unable to talk to them, speak to an older relative or person of trust and ask them To speak to your parents on your behalf.