How do I cope with my parents abandoning me?
Last Updated: 09/18/2017 at 4:26am
Alex DS Ellis, MA, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Feeling depressed or anxious can be so overwhelming. I want to help you feel better and be able to enjoy life. You are not alone and you deserve emotional support.
Top Rated Answers
You have to know that they didn't abandon you because of something that you did. They abandoned you because they couldn't handle a situation or a lifestyle right now. Their irresponsibility does not make you at fault, though, so just try to focus on every positive aspect that you can and know that it really isn't your fault. Talk to friends, and other family. But don't blame yourself.
You don't "cope" with it. You learn to accept it and eventually move beyond it. There is no getting over such abandonment. But in the end you come out stronger, trust me.
Spend time with the people who actually care about you. Talk to someone about it. A lot of people need assurance that they are loved and needed (which they are). Try moving away from the hate you've built up for your parents because of what they've done. Try focusing on the people who actually care about you and love you. Its not only people IRL, you can be super close with someone you've met online.
Use it to become a strong grown-up. It will be very hard at first to lose everything you trusted but later you will be able to realize that they are not perfect and that you should stop idolizing them.
Parents do the best that they know how to as parents. The rest is all you. Know that everything that you do from now on after your parents abandoning you is all you and you are the person who is responsible of whether it goes well or bad.
It's really saddening to hear stories where parents abandon their child. Hmmm... And to answer this question is tough. If I were on your shoe, I may not also know the answer. I may not know their reason but I guess there is behind it. So maybe I'll just look at the good things around me and leave all my questions to God. I know it's not easy, but it's simple. I believe God has a plan in everything :)
This isn't a one answer fits all question. Everybody is different. If you feel that you are having a hard time dealing with emotions of abandonment, perhaps you should talk with and seek the advice of a counselor or therapist to help sort out your emotions.
I had to just move on with my life and accept the abandonment. I could not change my mother. I could never win her approval, and I was never good enough. So I used her negative energy to be the best I could. It was not easy but I made it. Years of therapy, Mom did not change.
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