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How do I stop thinking about my family's expectation and pressure for me to do good later on in life?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 09/04/2018 at 8:56am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Fisher Goldman, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I have experience in grief work and the related challenges of growing a family (infertility, miscarriage, PPD, etc.). I can help you through your life transitions.

Top Rated Answers
LemmeBeYourHome
January 25th, 2016 7:49pm
Speaking straight forwardly you don't have to stop thinking about the pressure...of course the pressure creates unwanted anxiety... I have had to deal with such kind of expectations pressure myself and yes it is depressing but at the end of the day everybody around you would eventually accept you as you are a success or a failure but what you have to worry about is about what expectations you keep for yourself...it is you who must rule your life and not the society. Everything that makes you happy is what you have to look for and keep on doing it because it's hard to accept yourself as you are...You have to try your best to keep yourself satisfied
StephanieR
February 27th, 2015 3:03am
Focus on what makes you happy. It's okay not to be perfect. It's your life, and it's important that you live it how you want to.
warmthoughts28
March 2nd, 2015 7:47am
I think that this is a hard expectation to stop thinking about. For those who do, it is a positive aspect to be sensitive of your loved one's expectations; however, strict expectation and pressure can really impact one's life in the present. It helps to make personal boundaries and definitions of what you expect for yourself because only you can determine and make the choice of what occurs later on in life for the better. Always be respectful of your family and at the same time, respect that you can only do what you can do. It may also help to take even a small amount of time out of the day, even if it is just five to ten minutes, not have any worries regarding this issue. Scheduling out time for yourself is a powerful way to cope. Also, believe in yourself to do well later on in life! A positive attitude in this regard helps to change your aspect on the future for the better.
StrikeFreedom
April 14th, 2015 11:42pm
While it is important to respect your family and honor their wishes as much as possible as they just want the best for you, you have to remember that ultimately this is your life and no one else is capable of living it for you. The only person capable of being the best you can be, is you!
Anonymous
May 18th, 2015 12:47am
I have come to terms that my parents will love me no matter what. They may not agree on my choices and actions in the moment, but I know they will support me no matter what. So for now, it has worked for me to do what I want.
nomtomatoes
May 26th, 2015 10:23pm
Remember it's YOUR life. Not their's. If you find something you enjoy and good well in, then show your happiness towards them. Shoot for the goal YOU want.
Anonymous
August 10th, 2015 7:36pm
I think one of the best ways to do that is to focus on the successes you are having. The things that you are doing well and look back to see how much you've progressed and grown. Once you see how well you are doing, it may be a lot easier not to feel so pressured because you know you can do it.
imSorryYouFeelThisWay
August 25th, 2015 12:14pm
Well, just remember that they love you and at the end of the day they will be there. Also Never forget you are your own person. You live up to your expectations and yours alone. Be proud of who you are.
courtly25
September 8th, 2015 8:06pm
To stop thinking about your family's pressure and expectations, is to remember that it is YOUR life. All your goals, wants, and dreams should all come from your heart and not your family's. The most important person to impress is yourself, and don't let the stress of others take that away from you! Keeping in mind that you are your own person, and creating your OWN story will help you stop thinking about their idea of "perfect".
DaveMcGrath
May 17th, 2016 12:26am
Find something so engaging that you love so much, that losing yourself in it lets you forget everything else.
Alee
June 6th, 2016 8:03pm
By understanding that it's your life and not theirs life. You are making your own path. Whatever happens you will be able to fight it trough.
Greatlistener87
September 19th, 2016 1:36am
Your family will always thing the highest of you. Thats because they are family. As for you as a person you will make choices and calls on your own as a person and sometimes or most of the times it will not go according to plan. But don't stress about it just learn and grow from it. After all we are only human.
majesticCloud84
May 8th, 2017 5:13pm
although our family shapes how we live our lives we should try to focus on our own personal goals and expectations in life. The pressure may never go away but finding ways to cope with it is very useful.
Riseandshine85
September 4th, 2018 8:56am
Experiment and try to find your path in life as any curious human being would. Pier pressure is normal and is based on common anxieties that one should do good and not drift away. Acknowledge the pressure from your family and treat it as a challenge, knowing that you would do the same if you had offspring. In the end it's about what you do to keep you afloat financially and and what other things bring you joy and fulfillment. Overthinking about this aspect and not acting upon it tends to paralyze and make one think he is not worthy of being responsible for himself or competent to make decisions, in the end, it's about breaking the illusion that this anxiety gives.