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How do I stop thinking about my parents' high standards for me?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 02/14/2022 at 5:31pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
selfpropelled
March 2nd, 2015 5:17am
Follow you're own high standards. Most parents want to see us happy and satisfied with ourselves. Hopefully that'll make them happy as well.
Someone6004
April 28th, 2015 12:27am
While i was growing up, I constantly felt pressured by my parents to be the perfect child at home as well as at school. After starting to see a therapist about these problems, I discovered that my own goals and self-worth needed to be put ahead of what i thought my parents wanted. I learned to focus on what i wanted to accomplish, instead of what they pushed me to accomplish. Asking yourself what you want your own standards to be can be very helpful in a situation like this.
heavenPurple92
May 26th, 2015 10:20pm
Every parent just wants their children to succeed. Unfortunately others become overly competitive and sometimes personalities tend to clash also. Just explain to them you understand that they want you to succeed and you love and appreciate them for it. But you want to do you're own thing and there's no reason you still can't be those things that they want doing what you wish to do. Sometimes parents know best but sometimes you have to do what's better for you to. It's all about a little give and take. Good luck in whatever you do!!! :D
Anonymous
December 7th, 2015 2:59am
I find it important to prioritize your own happiness and well-being first above anyone else. They cannot live for you or through you.
Anonymous
April 7th, 2015 4:20am
Your parents only want the best for you. Just remember this is your life, you can't live up to what they want you live up to.
Anonymous
June 14th, 2015 3:23pm
My parents have very high standards of me, but after a while I realised that I wont always be a ble to live up to these expectations and it is better for me to go for more acheivable goals that I set myself, as I am the only one that knows what I am truly capable of, and my parents are just going to have to accept that.
Alethiology
February 8th, 2016 3:56pm
Have your own standards for yourself. NEVER live up to other people's standards because that's not you. That's them.
Greatlistener87
March 21st, 2016 3:12am
You are responsible for your own happiness. What you do and the choices that you make are the ones that you are gonna live with when your parents are no longer around. So always remember to do things the way you want them to be, because in the end you will be the one living through it.
disconsolate
April 5th, 2016 3:12am
well first of all, you need to know that you are enough and keep in mind that you do the best you can. you need to "know" because this is the truth and even though you don't believe that right now, i just need you to know.
allnaturalUnicorns44
June 20th, 2016 12:19pm
Your parents just truly want what is best for you and sometimes they may go overboard. Try to understand that's where they are coming from and do your best. However, at the same time work towards accomplishing your hopes and dreams
KundaliniiGuy66
April 23rd, 2018 5:35pm
First, Write what you want to achieve Break Your Goal into simple steps Do What You Love rather than your parents high standards . Its better to be happy with your success rather than your parents expectations Its better to focus on your thoughts and enjoy yourself Remember the Law of Attraction : What You focus on expands , based on that focus your thoughts on how you want Your Life to Be !!! All the Best !!!
HayAwake221
August 14th, 2018 9:08pm
There are two sides to this. First, your parents brought you up, looked after you and that's a debt you cannot ever pay back. So you need to respect them and their wishes, and basically be a good kid. The second side, you are your own person. You will live your life. So keep in mind their goals for you, but dont let it get in the way of who you want to be
whimsicalBlanket8742
June 23rd, 2020 6:49am
First of all ... Everyone is not same. So dont compare your child with any one else . Second one after parent they are going to live their life alone and thats why this is for kid to understamd about their parents . But expectations make person disappoint. It will reduce their self extreme and at some point they make distance with the parents. So kindly talk to your parents that you want to do something else and convince them with your words. Why you are interested in that particular field and why do you have to do it .. Show them you are want that on any cost. Show your passion . And make one time request that give me some year months or days i will prove my self .
Kpopcat2020
February 14th, 2022 5:31pm
Explain that you're worried you can't meet their expectations. Tell them what you see for your future, even if the answer is “I don't know.” Proving that you're thinking about what's next - even if you're not sure - might make them feel more secure. Listen to what they have to say. Also, doing some things that help them out around the house or workspace may show them that you are capable. Additionally, speak to your parents about how much they pressure you, and tell them that it's hard to do very well with them pressuring you. Listen to them.