How do I tell my parents I don't want to go to church?
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Last Updated: 12/20/2020 at 8:16am
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Top Rated Answers
Explain to them calmly and respectfully, or you could write a letter to them. I go to my church twice a week, and I want to continue, but if I wanted to stop...I would try to ease it out. Maybe suggest that I go only once a week, then less. Is there a reason you don't want to? Considering this can help.
Your parents brought you up as a free thinking individual. You should summon up the courage to face them on the topic. You should sit with them and explain why is it that you do not wish to go to the church and urge them to try and understand your feelings.
Think about why you don't want to go to church. Is it too early in the morning? Do you not believe in what they preach?.. Could you go to a later service or discover a new church that fits you? .. Just talk to them. Maybe when they were your age they had similar thoughts.
Well, just do it. I am sure you have your reasons, and it might be difficult for them to accept. Just keep in mind that a lot of religions have the parents vow to raise you in their ways, so they might actually be trying to keep to their promise. Be considerate, and I am sure they'll understand that they have done good enough that you can be trusted to make healthy decisions.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2016 2:47pm
have a conversation with them about your religion over dinner. tell them how you feel and say how you want support in your choice.
Anonymous
August 5th, 2016 6:46pm
You should be honest with them If they try to make you, you should try make a compromise with them.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2016 4:16pm
Try calmly explaining your stance, and explain that whole you respect and understand their beliefs and their responsibility as your parents you need a little space in life to find your personal beliefs, and while church is a great community experience you believe you need to step away for a while.
Tell them straight up, I realized I didn't share my parents beliefs on religion and I told them. They were a little shocked at first but slowly they got used to it.
Anonymous
August 20th, 2016 7:40am
Explain to them your reasons and if they are good parents they should understand. You have your reasons and opinions and they should respect those.
Anonymous
August 26th, 2016 7:12am
you can always tell them that you respectfully decline to go to church because its not something you (want to do/believe in)
That's not an easy conversation too have. No one can force you to do something you don't want to do. If there is something bothering you it's you're right to tell them how you feel. It took me months too tall my parents out of me going to the church I went too everyday. After it was over I felt so much better. Come up with a lost with the reasons why you don't want to go. Tell them how it may have benefited you but, maybe explain them what you'd like to do instead. Maybe try to ask them about what you could do as a family that will be a different way too bring you that sense of spirituality if that is what you all collectively desire.
Perhaps you could explain to them that faith is very personal and you would like to have the personal freedom to choose who, how, what, where and when to worship?
This can be difficult based on the scenario you are in, and it can be a touchy subject if not answered correctly. The best thing to do is first, be honest with yourself. Do not use a reason like football, or going to brunch with your friends. Explain to your parents that while you may be religious, it is just something you do not feel comfortable doing, or whatever the reason may be. But make sure when you talk about it you use real reasons that depict why you do not want to go.
I believe instead of telling that you don't wanna go to church , you should focus on why you don't want to go to church. If you emphasize on the problem maybe they can help you or maybe they will understand.
Anonymous
August 31st, 2016 1:56pm
Well, the religion that you participate in is your choice, but you cannot be harsh or rude when speaking about someone else's religion, so be gentle, be rational and try to keep an open mind.
Anonymous
September 4th, 2016 9:47am
Tell them honestly why you don't want to go. Try going one more time and explain why it's not for you.
Anonymous
September 22nd, 2016 1:20pm
Just consider why you don't want to go. Then sit down with your parents and have an open-ended, non-aggressive discussion about why you don't want to go.
Anonymous
October 12th, 2016 1:09pm
When one faces the probable cycle of having doubt in their own ability to fit the norms presented to them by their parents, they must realize that their ability to independently rationalize is of the utmost importance. For this reason, one must be bold, daring, and decisive in making a choice and explain to the authority of the parent that they are their own independent person.
Tell them that you want to do something because you want to- not because they would say you need to or you have to.
Anonymous
October 13th, 2016 1:13pm
Tell them that you don't fully understand the religion yet and would want to know more before making decisions like going to church.
I can imagine you are anxious about this significant conversation with your family.
What I did is I said very clearly that I do not support the institution of church and I no longer wish to attend mass but I still have spiritual beliefs. Attending church felt dishonest to me if I didn't believe in it and I made my parents see it from my point of view.
That said, I reassured them that I will join our family christmas traditions and won't interfere with their religious life out of respect and because it was important to them.
Look, I am not saying the same speech will work with your family but you can't go wrong with empathy and assertiveness.
It may be a sensitive subject. Explain them the reasons and tell them that you have to read and discover more about religion, before going to church.
This is one of the most difficult topics to deal with in some peoples life and the very fact that you're willing to attempt to try and look into dealing with it is amazing! What would the implications be if you told your parents that you want to things in a way that would be in more alignment with your ideas of serving God?
Anonymous
October 29th, 2016 8:49pm
Find out what you don't like and a reason you don't feel like going, tell them a reason instead of saying I just don't want to go.
Politely explain your reasoning for not wanting to do so, and be patient with them if they have a negative response.
Anonymous
November 9th, 2016 7:46pm
religion is a big part of peoples lives and it can be a shock to find out that your child does not want to worship in the same way you do. That being said honesty is the best policy and the longer you leave it the harder it gets to tell them.
I tell them that I don't want to go to church and that it is not a reflection on them. I am searching for my answers about God and I don't know if I can find them in the church.
Sit down and have a conversation with them! Tell them your reasoning for not wanting to attend church, (why you're uncomfortable with it. stuff like that) and ask them to respect your decision and your comfortability :) Hope this helps!
I have the same problem as well. What I found works best for me is simply sitting them down and letting them know how you feel. Tell them you want to live your own life and make your own choices. That church makes you feel uncomfortable or restricted.
You know your parents better than anyone. Do you not share their beliefs or do you just not want to attend church? Sitting them down in a quiet atmosphere and talking gently to them is just one answer. Please be prepared to give them your full views and also to listen to theirs. If you are underage and your parents are deeply integrated into the church, you might not be able to convince them to let you stay home. But if you can somehow convince them that church is leading you further away from religion than closer to it, they may see that forcing you to attend church is not helping instill their beliefs. Good luck!
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