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How do I tell my parents I don't want to go to church?

161 Answers
Last Updated: 12/20/2020 at 8:16am
How do I tell my parents I don't want to go to church?
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United States
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Top Rated Answers
December 30th, 2016 9:39pm
First of all you need to ask yourself why you don't want to go to church, be honest to yourself, after it, try to have a honest conversation with your parents showing them that your decision was well thought.
January 14th, 2017 7:40am
Telling your parents that you don't want to do something is difficult, especially when that something is an activity that your parents enjoy doing, and do on a daily basis. But, it is important to keep in mind that no matter how upset they may be, your parents are still your parents. And, despite your decision to not go to church, they are going to love you.
January 27th, 2017 2:31pm
If you trust that your parents care about you and your feelings the main thing you need to struggle with is actually sitting down and getting the words out to your parents about why you don't want to go to church whether it's due to your personal religious beliefs, or simply due to it not being how you want to spend your Sundays. Actually being able to talk to your parents about things that are bugging you, from simple to complex subjects, is a very important aspect of young life.
February 5th, 2017 5:44pm
Be honest with them. If you have separate beliefs, it is best to tell them that. Parents want their children to succeed. Be kind while telling them, but tell them how you feel.
February 12th, 2017 2:36am
Let them know that you are questioning your faith and don't feel comfortable going to church for the time being. Try to talk maturely and logically about it so they are more lithely to want to understand where you are coming from.
February 17th, 2017 11:29pm
Open a dialogue with them. Tell them what you're feeling, and if you can, why you're feeling that way. Just be honest!
March 18th, 2017 6:37pm
Unfortunately, there is no easy way to tell your family you don't want to go to church. Especially if you're young and if your family feels strongly about it. However, it is important to let them know how you feel so I would come right out and say it in the most respectful way possible.
March 23rd, 2017 4:05pm
I understand that some parents can be very strict. But every strict parent does care about their children and I'm sure your parents care about you and they will be more than happy to listen to what you want. If you don't want to go to church then I would advise you sit them down and having a conversation with them about it. Explain to them how you feel and the reason why you don't want to attend church. I'm sure they'll listen to you.
April 15th, 2017 9:25am
You should try talking to them and making them understand why you don't want to go to church. You should try and show your point of view and what you belief. Don't have a fight and worsen the situation but talk to them calmly .
April 28th, 2017 7:58am
Respectfully and certainly. This can be a tough matter but you must set your foot down. If that is not what you believe you have the right to say so and not attend.
June 7th, 2017 10:16am
I've been raised to always respect your parents. Maybe start by telling them a few of your reasons. Developing your own spiritual practices is a personal journey. I'm sure your parent's would appreciate your honesty.
June 8th, 2017 1:58am
Tell them straightforwardly: "I don't want to go to church." Think about the reasons; the sermons are not helpful, the music is awful, I don't get anything out of it, etc. Think of alternate solutions to develop your spirituality: you can study the bible in an online forum, you can design your own daily prayer schedule, you can get an online spiritual mentor. Many of the alternate options are much more effective than going to church. Be willing to compromise, maybe attend once a month in addition to your own spiritual direction plan.
June 10th, 2017 3:56am
That depends on your personal relationship with your parents. having a mature and open ended conversation with them tends to be a good idea, in my experience, so you could try doing that to begin with.
June 14th, 2017 6:15am
Really tough one! Being born and raised religiously, this is something I struggle with, too. Even now when I'm no longer living with my parents! If I had the choice, I would be open and honest with them about how I truly feel about going to church. To be fair to my parents, however, I would make exemptions, too. Because maybe, to the parents, going to church is a way to spend time with us?
June 18th, 2017 4:02am
Be honest with them. Tell them exactly why you don't want to go, and be true to yourself. Give them solid reasons as to why (not excuses) you don't want to go, and be open talking to them and answering any questions they have.
June 22nd, 2017 6:53pm
If you are 18 or older, you need to make your parents aware of how you feel. Let them know that you understand their concerns about attending church but that at this point in your life, you do not feel you are in a place to go but that maybe sometime in the future, you may attend but that you do not want to be made to feel guilty about attending or not attending church.
June 25th, 2017 5:03pm
I have been through this experience myself, I eased my way into it and had to be understanding with my parents desires. But, the way I did so was I sat both of them down and told them how I appreciated them choosing this lifestyle of religion for me but that it wasn't who I was and what I didn't truly believe in I'm not sure if you don't believe in it or just don't want to go but if you just don't want to go I would say I am dedicated to my religion in other ways and I personally don't think church is right for me for certain reasons and list those reasons but make them reasonable reasons haha.
July 9th, 2017 4:03am
For many people, going to church is not only a reflection of their beliefs, but it is a part of their identity. That's why it can be really challenging to be honest with your parents about not wanting to go! There is no simple answer to this questions, because everyone's parents are different and we all have different communication styles. My only suggestion is that you should be as respectful as you can be by validating how important church is for your parents, but then being as honest as you can (while being mindful of how they might feel) with why you aren't wanting to go!
July 28th, 2017 8:27pm
Religion is a tough subject in today's society. Yes, your parents are in charge of you until you are 18, but you are still human. I can understand where you are coming from. I have had to deal with this myself, and I was very anxious and scared. I suggest you do what I did. Sit yourself down. Think. What are the reasons you do not want to go to church? Sit your parents down and explain to them that you do not view their religious practices as negative. But you simply do not wish to go to church. Make sure that you are polite and expressing your opinion and needs in a respectful manner. Afterall, thats what you would want them to do to you. Be patient, and let them make a decision. Answer their questions with honesty, and empathy. Don't just say 'Because I don't want to" or " You can't make me" ... tell them how you feel. Weather you don't think that their religion is for you, church makes you feel uncomfortable because the strictness, or too many people. or even the simplest of maybe you still want to go to church, but not twice a week / so early in the morning. I do not know your situation, therefore I can not give you advice for you, I can only suggest things, and let you use what you want and leave the rest. I wish you good luck.
August 18th, 2017 6:56am
Tell them how you feel about church and they should be supportive of how you feel. If you don't want to go to church that is your choice and they shouldn't be making it for you.
September 16th, 2017 2:38pm
It is best to be honest with them. Conversations about religion can always be intimidating, but if you are calm, truthful and understanding, you will at least get them to listen to you.
September 22nd, 2017 12:24pm
Hmm. If your parents are religious then that can be a tough situation. Firstly, it's a good idea up be gentle. Use a gentle tone and gentle mannerism and allow them to have their own reactions. What is the ideal reaction and what do you think is the most likely reaction they'd have?
September 22nd, 2017 8:25pm
This is sometimes very difficult, understandably. Beliefs, especially religious beliefs, can be held very tightly to oneself. Some parents are more understanding than others but making your case respectfully and in a well thought out manner can go a long way. If, indeed, this is something that is important for you to get across and worth the time and confrontation, then gently insisting that as an individual, this is something you'd like for them to respect if they can manage it. They may ask you questions and they may even be concerned for you. I believe that responding calmly and as an example of love and understanding yourself... once again, usually, and can go a very long way. Results are usually up to the dynamic between the people involved but thinking of how you will react and remain while pursuing this conversation should be priority, perhaps. Good luck and remember to breathe; do not become discouraged.
November 8th, 2017 3:08am
Explain to them in a respectful tone that you feel you differently then they do about attending church. Maybe you have your own beliefs separate from them and the church. Tell them you respect their decisions but for you to continue to find yourself and discover the person you are, church is not something you are willing to commit your time to.
November 18th, 2017 7:28am
I don't think you should. It very well could get you in a lot of trouble. If your parents are super religious, they might get very mad at you and start fights. It depends on how well you know your parents. If you think they will let you not go, tell them straight up, if they might get mad, then don't tell them. Maybe give a hypothetical question to test them.
November 19th, 2017 8:43pm
If you talk to the patiently and in a sensitive way that you dont enjoy or maybe like going to the church i guess they will understand you and let you decide what you prefer
November 22nd, 2017 2:40am
They shouldn't be forcing you in the first place. God gave us the power to choose. We're not robots. Simply tell them you believe in God enough to believe in his desire - giving us choice. Your choice? Stay home.
November 22nd, 2017 11:14pm
Be subtle beat around the bush for a little, explain why you don't want too go to church anymore, tell them you just don't feel right going there
November 24th, 2017 2:56pm
You can start by telling them how you feel about going to church and then explaining why you don't feel it is the right ting for you. You have a right to choose your own faith and belief system and they should respect that.
December 20th, 2017 12:30am
I would suggest you sit down with them at a convenient point, with minimum distractions around. Be open with them and honest. Try and express your views and feelings calmly and sincerely, also consider their feelings and emotions to hearing your thoughts. Don’t be angry with their response if it is not what you expected, just explain your feelings and wishes and be thorough. If they are devoted church goers it may be a big shock and they will have questions, if they do, be prepared to answer them, it is only fair. Remember it is your choice what you do and what you believe in. Best of luck!