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How do I tell my parents I don't want to go to church?

161 Answers
Last Updated: 12/20/2020 at 8:16am
How do I tell my parents I don't want to go to church?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Top Rated Answers
January 4th, 2018 5:31pm
Faith is something that cannot be taught, you either have it or not, but can cherish your spirituality. Simply tell them why don't you want to go to church in a calm and respectful way, maybe they'll understand.
January 18th, 2018 4:57pm
A lot of the times parents want their children to go to church because they feel that they will become "bad kids" if they don't keep on a good path. Show them that you plan on being kind by instead volunteering at food drives, or becoming a 7 Cups Listener! :)
February 2nd, 2018 4:14am
Tell them how you truly feel about it. Try to be calm. Always have the right face for the right time.
February 21st, 2018 11:29am
If you sat them down together and just explained why you do not feel going to church is the right option for you they will under.
March 7th, 2018 1:46pm
Tell them that religion is a very personal thing, it must not be imposed by anyone. It is our personal relationship with who we believe in so we have our own ways/ practices on how we profess that belief. That is why there is ‘confirmation’,in the case of Catholics once you reach the age of 12..because when we were baptised, we were still babies who cannot decide for ourselves what religion or what kind of profession of faith do we want..
March 9th, 2018 6:22am
I told my parents that I didn’t want to offend them. But I had my own personal view of religion. I told them I didn’t want to go to church anymore. I told them it made me feel uncomfortable.
April 7th, 2018 3:20am
Resist them, tell them it is your spiritual life. You'll do what your heart will say. Like when i resisted against them when they didn't allowed me to meditate, when my heart said it was time to do it. Time to begin. Follow your heart, it knows everything
April 8th, 2018 2:06pm
Your parents need to understand that this is a diverse universe where there is no one right way of being or thinking that fits all people. This is the source of all issues on this Earth - that people are trying to fit others into a box of what they think is right. There is not one path that is right for all, and it is up to each and every person to find their own path, using their own guidance system rather than society's.
May 9th, 2018 2:58pm
It's all depends on you...being rude don't fetch us anything so try to be polite gentle and say them u are tired or any reason what made u not to go
May 13th, 2018 5:37pm
Sit down with your parents and have a heart-to-heart conversation with them. :) Tell them how you feel.
May 18th, 2018 4:28pm
Take a deep breath first. Organize your thoughts and what you wanna say to you parents. Expose your thoughts in an assertive way. Expose how you feel when you go to church. Be honest. Start with something like “I understand how church is important to you but it makes me feel *insert feeling here* and I think (...)”
May 30th, 2018 1:04am
this is quite the sensitive topic... break it to them slowly. drop hints at first, to be careful. best case scenario, they understand
June 22nd, 2018 6:20pm
Be assertive. If they never know how you feel, things won't change. They might understand, but they might not. But make sure to be respectful in talking to them.
June 24th, 2018 4:35pm
Honesty and open conversations are key! It may be difficult, but try to plan out what you'd like to say to them in advance. & if you don't feel comfortable telling them in person, writing it, texting, or calling is always an option. List your reasoning behind why you don't want to go to church. If you're 18 or older, you're an adult where you can make your own decisions. It's not always easy to go against your parents beliefs, but you need to remember to stick to your own. You don't have to follow something you don't believe in or don't want to practice.
June 27th, 2018 12:54am
Faith and spirituality come very differently for everyone. If you do not wish to attend church, that is your personal choice. If/when you decide to bring this up with your parents, understand that they may have a very different faith than you, and it is very important to remain respectful.
June 27th, 2018 11:32pm
I can relate so much. If you're parents are super religious, then I wouldn't tell them that you don't want to go to church. I told my dad that and he yelled at me and was like, "do you not love me?" "do you want me to die?" and it didn't end up so well and my mom didn't talk to me for the rest of the night. I'd wait until you're 18, so your parents can't control what you do anymore.
June 28th, 2018 11:16am
I am not going. Please go without me. (Not saying anymore but still typing cos i need to hit 100 characters)
July 5th, 2018 3:21pm
Don't make up excuses and tell them the real reasons why you don't want to go to church even though they may like to hear it so that they know how to support you appropriately.
July 8th, 2018 11:49am
Tell them how you feel, with respect. Tell them that you don' feel good there, they should understand.
July 11th, 2018 8:14am
Exposing them the reasons about why you don´t want to go, and telling them that you know about your free right about choosing in what you can believe.
July 15th, 2018 6:46am
This can be difficult. If living with them it may cause conflict . It's best to communicate your feelings face to face.
July 20th, 2018 2:15pm
tell them its not what you want to do anymore, i went through the same thing i was just honest and they understood
July 27th, 2018 11:18pm
You should try to talk to them when they are in a good mood and try to explain them why you don't want to go to church.Make sure you are being polite and don't try to argue with them too much. It will only lead to conflict
July 28th, 2018 6:20pm
This is a touchie topic for many house holds. I know it is in mine. I have teens and well they don't have that choice to not go to church, but I am open to hear them on this. I'd suggest you keep sharing in a respectful way on how you feel about going to church. Make sure to point out good facts this decision should be yours and why. I do hope soon your parents will be open minded to you.
July 29th, 2018 4:52am
This may not make sense for some people, but I think that having patience, and waiting until your old enough to make those decisions in your own freedom, is the best way to go. Its hard knowing that your parents still have control when you are ready to make your own decisions. If you tell them early on, they might get agitated, and it might start conflict, and tension around the house. If you believe your parents are trustworthy enough to support your decision, maybe try something like bringing it up at dinner, or asking to talk alone during their free time.
August 1st, 2018 8:24pm
Please make sure you're in a safe situation where they won't lash out at you for your decision. If that's the case, you might want to sit them down and explain your decision and why you chose it. If they disagree, know that in time it won't be up to them whether you go or not.
August 2nd, 2018 6:24pm
I would tell my parents that religion is ONE OF THE WAYS to connect with god. If it was the only way to realize god, then whole world (including all species) would have been prescribed that way directly in there Hearts, instead of Books to some (God never does partiality). I'm not against religion, I respect that you follow a religion with love n compassion. Don't worry I'm not away from God, I'll just explore in the way my soul directs.
August 11th, 2018 4:50pm
I understand how stressful this can be. Coming from a religious family they tried everything. All I can say is be honest but have a good think about what you believe in. For example I believe in facts, if it can be proven I pay attention, I understand people have different beliefs and I respect that, I just don't. I hope that helps in any way if at all :)
August 12th, 2018 5:24pm
Be straight up with them , they may take it the wrong way or they might understand . you never know until you try . If church isn't your type of thing then let them know . They can't force you to become someone who aren't .
August 24th, 2018 4:17pm
Good communication is vital in any relationship but especially important in a child-parent (even a grown child) relationship. This is also vital whenever it comes to big life changes and decisions which I suspect this is one. I assume you have your reasons as to why you do not wish to go to church anymore so explain this to your parents. If they are very religious people be respectful of their views and ask them to be respectful of your wishes also. Do not hide from having this conversation as the longer it goes on, the more resent you will have over them for making you go.