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How do I tell my parents I don't want to go to church?

161 Answers
Last Updated: 12/20/2020 at 8:16am
How do I tell my parents I don't want to go to church?
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Terrence Sawyer, MS Counseling Psychology

Drug & Alcohol Counselor

Social disorders counseling social psychology, substance use disorder counsel

Top Rated Answers
July 18th, 2020 1:33am
How old are you? There are basic things like food and shelter - which you have to be sure you will always have access to. What do you expect their reaction to be? It's a secondary issue - not so life-threatening, but massively, massively important - how do you think your relationship with your parents will be after you tell them? Is that a relationship you are happy to have? Clearly, the answer to the first one is at a more basic level - relating to physical survival. And the second is more about happiness and emotional survival. Understanding their reaction would be the first step in working out where, when and how to talk to them about this.
July 23rd, 2020 8:09am
I will politely tell my parents that i don't want to go to church and if i go to church solely because they want me too, it will defeat the purpose of going to church. Going to church must be done not be force but with a free will. If at some point i want to go to church i will go there because i wanted to, not because i was forced or under the infuence of my parents. I think they should respect my decision of not wanting to go to church and i have the right to decline if I don't feel like doing it
August 14th, 2020 3:54am
Religion is a great experience for some, but for others, it's just not the right path. There's many ways you can give back and show your appreciation. For many, it's through religious practices, like going to church. At a certain age, like 18+, you can decide for yourself what's best for you and how you want to celebrate religion, if you want to. I would do so in an open-minded fashion. Understand their viewpoint and know that they want you to grow up with the same mindset as them. Sometimes that can be debilitating though, especially if it undermines others.
August 28th, 2020 5:56am
Approach them and let them know your feelings. Make a time special to you all and go over why you feel the way that you do. Being open and honest can create a better relationship. Let them know how you feel and how it would make you feel if you can make your own decisions. The best way to get through this issue is to tell them exactly how you feel and why it makes you feel this certain way. Honesty is key and speaking out loud can help the relationship between the parents and their child evidently.
September 3rd, 2020 8:29pm
When I was younger felt that sometimes I didn't want to go to church. One day, I decided to speak with my dad because we had a good relationship and I felt like being open and honest with him. I told him that sometimes I feel anxious and nervous to meet a big crowd at church. My dad was glad that I was honest and had the courage to talk about my issues. After that day, our relationship improved and I found that the best way to avoid problems is to be calm and to find what really is bothering us.
September 17th, 2020 10:02am
Of course you should have the right to choose freely what church, if any, you wish to belong to. And your parents are not being at all clever, in not realizing that pushing a young person in the direction of one church is only likely to increase your resistance. It is really important for parents to recognize that it's good to encourage a teenager to think about spiritual matters and explore and make their own free choice, rather than trying to force them to accept only one set of answers and one specific church, even if they themselves are convinced that this would be absolutely the best thing for you. But lets be realistic. Depending on the specific church or sect involved, they may think that by not following their lead you are missing out on something marvelous, or even, as some churches believe, that you are risking your chances of eternal life and happiness : even if you dont agree with them, you can maybe appreciate why they feel this ay ( even if apparently they can't understand why you feel differently, or that you can honorably think differently ).
September 18th, 2020 12:52am
Hi there! This looks like a tough situation to be in, especially when you don't know how your parents might react. The most important thing to know is that religion is a personal choice. You can tell your parents in a way that you think they would be able to listen and be open to what you have to say. Having this conversation as a family at a 'family meeting' of sorts is a great idea to let them know that you are serious about not wanting to go to church. Most importantly, make sure you are safe and feel prepared talking about this no matter the outcome. I wish you the best of luck!
September 25th, 2020 4:48am
Deciding to tell your parents that you no longer want to go to church is a challenging task. It is first important to acknowledge and appreciate yourself for your inner reflection of realizing that this is a discussion that is necessary to have with your parents. How you choose to approach this situation can depend on your interactions with your parents. Have you ever had an experience like this with one of your parents before? Could you reflect on that experience and what went well and what went not as well to determine the best course of action? Whatever you decide to do, I encourage you to continue to advocate for yourself!
November 12th, 2020 11:54am
it's simple , just tell them you are uncomfortable or just not interested in going to church , it's completely normal to have these feelings or emotions , maybe socialising might be difficult for you , but try to think what is best for you. being a introvert or just being shy can be a hectic thing , and socialising is general is not easy either, but, if you try to face your fears and try to socialise just a bit, it might be helpful. sometimes waiting for a right moment is not very helpful, that is why you need to give it a shot every time you get a chance
November 26th, 2020 5:49pm
Sit down and have an honest and earnest conversation with them, although it might not be something that they would like to hear. It is important to keep communication between them and you open and honest. If you have this conversation in a calm manner they can understand where you are coming from and you can understand their own viewpoint on this subject. If one parent may be more understanding than the other, maybe speaking the one that is more understand first in private. Just so that in case of anything going wrong, the parent that is the most understanding can calm the situation.
December 20th, 2020 8:16am
This is not an easy question to answer. Coming from someone who was always forced to go to church as a child, despite stating that I did not want to go. I gad the option to choose of wanting to stay or go at the age of 16, and I never went back. My advise to you, is that if it is safe to do so, you sit down and have a talk with your parents and explain your reasons for not wanting to go in a calm and respectful way, try writing down what you want to say before-hand. Secondly, do not expect that their initial reaction will be positive, or that they will be understanding, so afterwards, give them time to cool of and to think. Try reminding them of the saying that goes along the lines of: "Church is not a designated building, but rather any area in which the persons intention is to find a personal connection with God".