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How do you choose between your sanity and your family? How can you make the decision to walk away from your own family, even if you know it's best for you?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 06/18/2019 at 6:10pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Danielle Gonzales, PsyD


Hello! My name is Dani, I am a Psychologist and registered Psych Assistant. I have a passion for helping a different types of clients from all diverse backgrounds!

Top Rated Answers
April 29th, 2015 12:23am
Sometimes, it gets to a point where enough is enough. You have to look at your life and ask yourself, what things in my life are helping me be a better and happier person and what things are drowning me and preventing me from being happy and the kind of person i want to be. It is definitely hard to make that call against your own family but if you look at your life and realize they're not having a positive influence on your life, happiness and well-being, it might be the time to look at distancing yourself. Keep your head up. [:
July 14th, 2015 4:19pm
Think of yourself. What's best for you. I did it because I had to but also because I was sick of being walked all over and disrespected. At the end of the day, it's your life. There's no point in having family (in my opinion) if they're not going to support you, treat you with respect and do anything for you, within reason of course. If you so desired, you could have a family of your own, one day and bring them up the way you wanted to be. While these are based on my own experiences, they are also my own opinions and just how I feel. I strongly believe everyone can cope without their family if they really wanted to. It's your choice though. Some people will stand by and say that family's everything and you shouldn't be "so disrespectful" towards them but it's a two way street. To gain respect, you need to earn it. I hope you find comfort, happiness and peace one day. I wish you all the best of luck on this journey.
June 18th, 2019 6:10pm
This is a tough one, because it really will depend on your experience with your family. It's important to remember that you only get one life, and you should try living it as happily as you can! Societal pressures teach us that family is the most important thing that exists, but this isn't always true. You are not wrong for wanting to walk away from your family to be happy and mentally healthy. You are valid and your experiences are valid. As we grow we tend to make our own families (whether it be through marriage, the friendships we make, etc). Surround yourself with those who bring your mental health up, not down. The stigma around leaving your family is hard, but your wellbeing is far more important.
March 11th, 2015 11:16pm
Sometimes it's best to break away from those preventing you from staying sane. They'll always be your family, and they'll always love you. But your own health matters too.
March 22nd, 2016 3:57am
Walking away does not solve issues that are present it just leaves it unsettled until further resurfaces. So it is good if you can try all means necessary to save the relationship before you think of an out.
May 7th, 2015 6:24pm
That is an incredibly difficult decision to make, it hurts a lot emotionally, and can take a few tries to do completely and really feel like its the right decision. I'm glad you felt comfortable reaching out here. If you have tried other things and this is really the best decision for you, then you have to trust yourself, and know you are taking care of you, which is the most important thing. It can also be helpful to talk to a friend about it and connect with other people. Hope this helps.
September 8th, 2015 7:53am
Every living thing has the duty to look after its own survival. It is programmed within us. If you aren't doing what is best for you, then who is? If you are suffering because of your family, think about how that could make your family suffer knowing that they are causing you pain. Your family probably wants you to do what is best for you, and you owe it to yourself to do what is best for you.
May 28th, 2018 2:47am
Sometimes you have to know which ones are toxic and which ones are not. You are your own person, you are the one living your life. Though it might seem hard to make such desicion, in the end it has to be done for you to become a better version of you.
November 24th, 2015 5:20pm
You have a family of 7 Billion and growing. Sometimes there will be a need to go to other sources for the needs of family to be fulfilled. Discover if these are your needs and what is best for you.
May 15th, 2018 7:48am
know that you need to take care of yourself and recharge before you can take care of others! you'll come back being better!
April 8th, 2019 10:28am
October 26th, 2015 4:12pm
I can't answer this question - You are the only one who knows that. However, i think you shoudl weigh out the positive and negatives of the situation. Don't over think it too much. You will make excuses for the choice that you don't feel is right.
January 4th, 2016 5:07pm
Counseling is an option, most of the time it is an effective way of helping everyone. I would consider taking a few counseling sessions together before deciding anything to irrational.
July 11th, 2017 6:23pm
First question: Has it come to the point of choosing one or the other? (Why or why not?) Second question: If the answer to the previous question is yes, are you prepared to walk away if your farewell/announcement conversation with them doesn't go as expected (e.g. they get angry or beg you to stay)? I trust that you're going to walk away in the best way possible--something only you can identify--without creating bitterness when you leave for your break, but even when you do your part, there is no guarantee it will be a clean farewell. It's best you also prepare for this scenario, and not just your goodbye speech, because if you tell them such a thing it will only create further tension in your relationship even if you decide to stay after all. How right is the time?