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how do you deal with a parent disappearing from your life?

16 Answers
Last Updated: 12/08/2020 at 5:42am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jennifer Fritz, LMSW, PhD

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

Day to day life can be stressful and overwhelming and my strength is assisting my clients in a supportive, empowering and practical manner.

Top Rated Answers
February 10th, 2015 11:17pm
I wouldn't know. Honestly, I haven't had one of my parents for most of my life. He left when I was around five years old. I never knew what to think of him. So I guess I've had a long time to get used to it. Sometimes, time does heal wounds.
April 8th, 2015 4:25am
Having a parent disappear from your life can be hard. Hopefully you have one parent and grandparents or anuts and uncles can also be a great suppert team and some one to lean on when needed.
April 17th, 2015 2:29pm
First, acknowledge that and accept it. Then remember to not blame yourself because it is definitely not your fault that cause them to leave. Upon that, look for the many other things in life that would make your life more meaningful (i.e., friends, hobbies, goals, work, etc).
June 17th, 2015 7:16am
First I start to deal with what is it that made me love that parent. All of the positive things we did together, time we spent. What was about that parent that I enjoyed I try to use that to help me get past the fact that their gone.
June 30th, 2015 12:55am
I know what it feels like and its painful, knowing there someone that was in your life gone. And has a kid growing up I had my mum/dad around, then see my mum leave in my eyes is horrible no one should feel that pain.
September 7th, 2015 3:53pm
Time will heal this problem! It'll be tough but you have to try and remember how proud they are of you and that they will always be in your heart. Be brave and don't shut out any emotional feelings because this will only make it all worse :)
December 1st, 2015 7:23pm
forgive them don't hold a grudge just plan to never leave your kid that's all you can do since your not your parent
February 9th, 2016 2:01am
Try to put yourself in their shoes to understand why and think of how much of a negative impact they would have had on your life if they stayed.
December 19th, 2016 8:39am
The parent that left is an adult and he/she is responsible for whatever decisions that they have made... On your side all you can do is respect the decision that that person has made and know that whatever the decision may be all you can do is let them learn in their own time..
April 25th, 2017 5:12pm
It can be very difficult when you lose a connection with someone you were close with. Talking about how it makes you feel with a trusted friend, family member or health professional can help.
July 25th, 2017 1:49pm
We have this image what a parent should be like. Mum soft and sweet, dad supportive and there when you need him. Yet, they are people. Like all people, they have flaws and sometimes they can't handle being a parent. Dealing with it is hard or sometimes even a relief. Everyone handles it differently but for my idea that we also get to choose who belongs to our family like a close friend can be as close as a sister or a brother. Finding those people can be most helpful and maybe trying to understand why they left.
October 16th, 2017 6:48am
The absence of a parent is not an easy thing to deal with especially if you don't know why. Most of the times the child blames itself or feels angry and abandoned. Fred Rogers used to say: “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” Paraphrase it a little bit I would say: When you feel emotionally empty try to find someone in your environment to fill this gap. A good grandfather, an uncle, even a big brother or a sister who will be the helper for you. And have always in mind that the acts of others are not your fault.
January 23rd, 2018 8:56pm
The best way to deal with this type of pain, is to transform it into happiness and strength. Use most of the good lessons your parent taught you growing up, don’t depart from things that would lose you to forget who you are.
June 4th, 2018 3:56pm
if your parent disappearing in your life, it can be emotionally draining on your brain and body. i feel you would need professional help and a strong support system. it would be good to have close friends if possible or a significant other to help with the emotional pain. no one deservers to have a parent leave the home but believe in your memories that are good about the parent. you would probably feel anger because it is not fair to be left with only one parent.
February 10th, 2020 3:29pm
I deal with a parent disappearing from my life by working to let go of any anger, hurt or resentment. I work through letting go by using prayer, deep breathing, yoga and mediation. Because in order for me to be at peace, I need to let go of negative emotions and understand people come in and out of our lives - even people we think will be by our side forever. I can be hopeful the relationship could begin anew at some point in the future, but if the current situation is where the parent has walked away, I need to fill my head and heart with good loving thoughts and move forward the best I can.
December 8th, 2020 5:42am
I empathize with what you're going through. Its a very difficult pill to swallow. It leads one to feel like they have abandonment and neglect issues. It's awful! As far as coping? Therapy, friends, activities, sports, surrounding yourself with people who accept you and people you want to be with and among. We provide therapists on our website in addition to there being chat support if you just need someone to listen. Have you considered having a talk with your parent and expressing how you feel to them? Is it difficult to communicate with them? If so, you could always go to your school counselor and start there.. Good luck !