How to convince my mother not to criticize me all the time? Talking just does not work.
Last Updated: 06/27/2017 at 3:16pm
Jennifer Geib, LCSWR
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Top Rated Answers
That's a tough one: parents are hard! Usually, we want them to hear us and to work with us. But that doesn't always happen. I found that working on removing myself from the situation works well for me. When she criticizes, I nod, or thank her kindly, then I make up an excuse to leave (my phone rang, I really have to pee...). If I can't leave, I listen, breather deeply, then when I can leave, I journal, or call a friend. You're right that talking doesn't work (it almost makes it worse!). Since I can't change her, I learned to take care of myself in the moments following her comments. Hang in there!
Sometimes you just have to be adamant and stand your ground. Show her how much her criticism is affecting your overall growth and progress. I had been experiencing that a lot with my boyfriend and mom so I came up with a solution. If they have any criticisms to make, try to write one per day, through text or email. Just for a week. It was effective (not at first of course) and through reminding and time and consistency it all worked out. Dont let your moms criticism discourage you though. I know a lot of us have been there and its not easy...Thats what we're here for.
If talking with another doesn't work, I would move away from persons who constantly criticise me for who I am, even if that person or persons are my parents. Best stay away from all the negativity!
Your mom cares about yu she isn't critisizing yu. Well if yu feel so talk to her patiently and explain her. She will understand if yu do so. Take care :)
Perhaps write her a letter to tell her how you feel? I used to do that when i felt too timid to have a conversation with her.
If talking doesn't help, try making her realize that what she's saying in not the best thing ... Try something like : "Does that make you feel better?" or "You shouldn't put someone/body down to feel better about you/yours." She'll realize what she did, or at least bring her back to her sense and loosen up a bit.
Do things to make her take notice. Do whatever makes you happy. Yes she's your mum, but it's your life
Just don't feed into it. Just say "Ok" or "If you think X is wrong then find a new solution (emphasis on the new) on how to fix it."Say that in a non engaged tone and hopefully she'll leave you alone
Try to make her realize that she is doing the wrong thing by criticizing you by saying, " does that make you feel better?"
By not arguing back all the time. If your mom is criticizing just tell her "i'm sorry" or "i'll be good next time, i promise" this will surely stop her and ya don't forgrt to tell your mom how much you love her and she looks amazing😉
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