How to deal with my family member that keeps asking how my husband and I are? We're in a hard time right now... with his job... and it's annoying that I keep being asked "how are you?"
Last Updated: 01/13/2020 at 10:58pm
Tim Van Rheenen, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I will work to help you get unstuck. Together we will apply methodologies that work to find freedom from trauma, sexually addictive behaviors, and relational problems.
Top Rated Answers
When faced with a situation such as this. Being humbly honest is the best bet. Either tell what you are comfortable telling them. Or honsestly tell them that you don not feel comfortable sharing that information. Setting boundaries is safe for both parties.
If you shared your pain with others, it's normal for them to keep checking in to know out of curiosity or genuinely how you are progressing. It is now up to you to let them know that you prefer to handle the situation without their continuous prying and that's done by setting boundaries verbally, by facial expressions and by your body language. It's always better to be clear about where we stand on a matter.
Be real direct. You have rights to your own privacy and you can control what you want and dont want to disclose. It isnt rude~ rather its just being firm.
Unfortunately we cannot always tell the motive behind a person's question (whether they are genuinely interested in helping, or are just looking for gossip/entertainment). In any case, if you don't like the question try answering in generalities. You may respond, "Things are kind of tough right now, but we're surviving." Then if your family member(s) do not appreciate your lack of detail, you can decide at that point whether or not to share more of your story with them. If you do not wish to self-disclose, then that is your right. Simply repeat the aforementioned response until they get the message.
When you are going through a challenging time, the worst thing is being asked about the challenge and or being reminded of people's awareness of it. And yet often family intends to help and support. Have you tried telling them that you appreciate their care and concern and that when if you want to talk about it or have an update that you will do so, but in the meantime, what would be really helpful is for you to be able to have conversations about the usual topics or enjoy more time doing things together. Since people often want to help, but dont know how, responding to one of their inquiries via letting them know what would be helpful might ease all involved.
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