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How to make your parents stop arguing?

85 Answers
Last Updated: 07/25/2018 at 2:14pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
TheGreyFixer
January 15th, 2016 2:37am
Unfortunately, no child can make their parents stop arguing. What they disagree on, only they can fix. Their problems are not your problems. But if it's getting really bad, maybe try talking to them individually, in a calm setting, and explain how it is making you feel. It may be that once they realise how much of an effect their arguments are having, they will instead seek other solutions, perhaps couples therapy. Don't blame them; they can't help disagreeing. But allow them to see your pain, as it will give them a clearer view of how things lie.
faithlove1111
January 20th, 2016 3:58am
Get their attention. No, you don't have to hurt yourself or do something awful to get their attention. Walk up to them and tell them firmly that you are disturbed by their arguing. Be assertive not angry when you speak. Tell them to sit down and discuss things like an adult. Then , walk away. It's up to them to solve the issue not you.
JasmineJane
April 3rd, 2016 5:11pm
We can't force our parents to stop arguing immediately. It's frustrating, I know, but things like this take time. Sit your parents down and talk to them about how you feel when they argue. Perhaps organise a family meeting every week where everyone speaks their mind to one and other about how they feel.
Anonymous
January 16th, 2016 3:21pm
Tell them how you feel when you hear them, and make them understand. Most parents would understand since they want their kids to be happy
MyriadHashbrown
February 18th, 2016 3:41pm
Your parents have likely been through thick and thin together, and have all sorts of experiences between them. Love is not a perfect, romance movie thing, it is a delicate balance between 2 people, and requires constant communication and nurturing. Arguments are natural, and cannot be entirely avoided, but the most important part of an argument, is apologizing afterwards and talking about the argument calmly to prevent bad feelings. Talk to each of your parents (either separately or together) and listen to their sides of the story, as well as try to get them to see the other side. Make sure they each have steps to try and reduce arguments, and steps to take to keep out of arguments in the first place. They should feel free to talk to you and each other about their feelings, and remember that they are human too, and have stress and anxiety. Hope everything goes well (:
igetcha
January 13th, 2016 8:47pm
You can't make anyone stop arguing. It's up to them. It sometimes helps to put it in perspective w/ real facts. They're usually making a big deal about little things. I once brought up how misunderstandings happen all the time & it doesn't make anyone a bad person & it helps everyone to just move on.
Kimberley28
May 9th, 2016 1:13pm
It can be pretty tough when your parents or stepparents are fighting. Remember, even people who love each other fight sometimes. And just because they fight doesn't mean they're going to stay mad for long or that they're going to get a divorce. It's natural for people who live together and spend a lot of time with each other to sometimes disagree and lose their tempers. Just think of the last time you and your brother or sister got into a fight. You didn't really mean all those things you said, did you? In the end, you probably made up. The same goes for parents. If you get really upset when your parents fight, you might want to talk to them about your feelings. Sometimes, parents don't realize that their arguing makes kids feel upset. If you tell them how you feel, they'll probably try to stop or at least explain to you why they are disagreeing.
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 11:52pm
It is not up to you to make your parents stop arguing. Please trust me on this issue. You are not to be the diplomat between your parents, because it is up to them to be the adults they officially are. You are not responsible for you parents' happiness, even though you might feel like it. If you feel like you are getting overwhelmed with family stress, you might want to tell someone like a social worker or a councellor at school.
sweets22
February 18th, 2016 1:18pm
tell them how it makes you feel, and how its affecting you and others around them, even including each other.
shvrry
February 19th, 2016 2:01am
Best thing to do is stay out of it, or tell them to calm down and try to help them work things out :)
soulmate100
February 17th, 2016 5:26pm
First of all individually talk with your parent and then talk to them and tell them that when they fight it has a bad impact on your mind as well as soul .. Ask them not to fight for your good sake. And try to be a bridge between them and fill the gap
delightfulana02
February 5th, 2016 12:27pm
You yourself can interfere. Sometimes, interference can actually lead to positive outcomes. Get in between and show them how sad you feel when they argue. Every matter has a sure possibility of being solved calmly and peacefully. We can make them calm down.
Anonymous
April 8th, 2016 2:05pm
Let them know that their arguments are affecting you, and that their arguments are not a good example on you.
Adam2342
February 6th, 2016 12:19pm
It's not hard to stop arguing with your parents , Yet not easy.. Take your parents as your friends and then it won't be arguing ; More like having a normal conversation. They are your parents after all and you have to have chit chats about your life and decisions every now and then. None of your friends is concerned about you as much as your parents are.
lyricalsunrise
February 25th, 2016 4:48am
You can't make them do anything, but if you tell them that they're scaring you, they'll probably try to stop or at least keep it away from you
disconsolate
April 8th, 2016 3:32pm
i've had a lot of people tell me to stay out of my parents' mess. from guidance counselors to relatives. they tell me to let my parents solve their issues on their own. they told me not to worry about it. they told me that their problems are not my own. but i think they were all missing the point. I CAN'T. i think the best thing you can do, based on my experience, is to let them know you're hurting. maybe they're convinced that they've done their part to keep you out of it and they don't see how much you're hurting, too.
cupcake1234
April 3rd, 2016 5:16am
You can't, nobody can make things better or worse between two other people. The only thing that's truly in your control is to not do anything to make it worse, rest you'll have to.. just stay calm and hope for the best.. Just remember, no matter what, they loved each other truly at one point and you're the result of that.
Mercylove
March 12th, 2016 1:15am
Arguing parents can be a very difficult thing- after all you don't want them to split up, and also you unconsciously base some of your relationship off of your parents. The best thing to do is always to confront them. Tell them you love them and are afraid of what might happen, ask them to talk it out.
Anonymous
January 28th, 2016 6:20pm
Unfortunitely this is something you might want your parents to handle. This is probably issues of their own that you shouldn't try to intervene with. However,you do have the right to tell them how you feel. This could help with your situation.
TheLoreWriter
January 27th, 2016 4:42pm
if your parents are arguing, you shouldn't blame yourself. If you don't that's great! You can't necessarily stop them from arguing, and tough as it might be, you need to accept that. What you should do instead is make sure you will be alright and safe when they do argue, so that you don't get hurt by it. You should be your priority. Remember that.
LondynRose
January 24th, 2016 11:29pm
There is not much you can do when your parents are arguing as they are adults. One thing that you can do for yourself though is not think they would be better off without you or that they are arguing due to you. You are their child and they may be arguing and bring your name into it but it is not your fault
Anonymous
February 24th, 2016 8:05am
You don't. You sit and cry yourself to sleep. Life is endless suffering that cannot be improved. Just give up.
gabbyyyy
May 4th, 2016 9:57am
Wait until they calm down, don't intervene while they are arguing. Talk to them about how it makes you feel when they argue, be sweet to them and help them understand. ❤
Anonymous
February 25th, 2016 2:14pm
Explain to one or both of your parents that you don't like the arguing. Explain to them that you would like to see them get along. Sometimes, having it brought to their attention is all they need.
Anonymous
February 25th, 2016 12:19pm
When they start arguing you just try to loose the topic for awhile,discuss about politics,future,favourite actor,or some funny quote which makes your parents laugh and simply forget about the heated situation and when the time is correct they will find a solution for their problem.
Anonymous
February 25th, 2016 4:58am
It sounds like your parents disagree a lot, and you would like to make them stop. You need to know that none of this is your fault.
Anonymous
March 26th, 2016 8:58pm
Maybe you could try to change the subject. Or tell them to go to separate rooms until they calm down.
Anonymous
February 24th, 2016 11:57am
Unfortunately, you can't. As much as you want to interfere, it is not appreciated and could lead to further arguments.
Anonymous
January 31st, 2016 7:24pm
Unfortunately, you can't change other people. Just support them each as best you can by listening to them separately.
shesays11
February 5th, 2016 3:42pm
It's important you understand that the only person you are in control of is yourself, unfortunately we can't control what other people do. But we can control how it affects us. You could possibly tell them how it is affecting you. But understand that if the arguments do not stop, it is not your fault.