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How to make your parents stop arguing?

85 Answers
Last Updated: 07/25/2018 at 2:14pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
February 24th, 2016 11:57am
Unfortunately, you can't. As much as you want to interfere, it is not appreciated and could lead to further arguments.
Anonymous
May 1st, 2016 11:10am
Speak to them privately and tell them how you feel. Be calm and quiet don't be angry at them. Or talk to each one of them separately ☺☺☺☺☺
Meowkindcatmeow
March 22nd, 2016 1:57pm
Try and ask each parent separately what is really bothering them. People lash out when under a lot of pressure and being able to reflect on what the real cause is will help them actually address the issue.
Ear4you
November 7th, 2017 10:08pm
Sadly, you cannot control your parents and their actions. It's hard when you are a child to accept that you can't make your parents stop arguing, but remind yourself that they are adults and they are in control of their own actions. They have to want to stop fighting because there is no magic wand to make them stop.
Anonymous
April 1st, 2016 10:32pm
Set up family things to do. Help them enjoy each others company. If they enjoy your company then theyll enjoy it together and already share something. Which is great.
Anonymous
April 1st, 2016 11:56pm
If you get really upset when your parents fight, you might want to talk to them about your feelings. Sometimes, parents don't realize that their arguing makes kids feel upset. If you tell them how you feel, they'll probably try to stop or at least explain to you why they are disagreeing.
Ravenclaw7
August 29th, 2017 10:42am
You do not have control over other people's actions. What you can do is talk to them and explain to them how their fights are affecting you. Sometimes parents get caught in their arguments and forget that it's not just about them. So gently remind them and ask them to work on their relationship so you could be happier together, as a family.
AiLaikHeda
July 25th, 2017 8:17pm
You can never make your parents stop arguing, they are your parents and they have disagreements and its most likely a issues someone under the age of 18 can not help them overcome. The best thing to do is to sit down and request they not argue infront of you because its damaging your spirit. Request they try to talk things out instead of yelling at each other. If they still cannot hear what you are saying, try writing them a letter and allow them to visually see what you are saying to help it click.
strawberryPudding82
December 13th, 2016 10:36am
Talk with them. If you don't know what they are arguing about, ask them. If it is financial, ask them how you can help. When I was a child I delivered newspapers at 7 years old and sold goods door to door until my parents found out how dangerous that was then we were all hired out to other family members for cleaning and the boys did outside work such as getting firewood, chopping and stacking it, helping with fishing equipment etc. until we got ahead enough financially for my parents to be self-sustaining. If this is the step, be safe. If they are having relationship problems, tell them you love them and don't want to see them arguing anymore. Tell them that they should make up their minds of what they are going to do but just no more arguing as it is bad for everyone's health. Even adults have a hard time getting through problems without being angry. Sometimes even a child has to show them that they can disagree without arguing loudly.
Anonymous
October 4th, 2016 7:53pm
Explain to them how their arguing is making you feel- to each parent separately if necessary. Parents will usually listen if you explain calmly.
moonwalker27
April 8th, 2016 5:40pm
You can write a letter about how you feeling when they're arguing and put it on their room or give it to them. I think they would stop if they understand how you feeling about that.
Keepinsight
April 23rd, 2016 11:36pm
You cant have someone do something unless they decide to, so you cant really. Its hard to accept but its not your place and you're not capable of fixing their relationship. The only thing you can do is distance yourself from the rocky relationship they have and focus on yourself and your relationship with them as your parents. Their love for you is separate from their love for each other so don't think you have any part in what they have. I hope you dont let it bring you down, and keep moving forward even though its difficult.
Anonymous
April 30th, 2016 12:50pm
Arguing parents are a sad nightmare. I would wake up in the middle of the night from the screams they would yell at each other, and it'd hurt me deeply to watch the two people I love fight with each other. I could go on and on- but presenting a solution would be more helpful than just rambling. Make your parents do little things together- it doesn't have to be anything big, something small like eating dinner would be perfectly fine. Baby steps. You'd soon see that just by being in the same room together and seeing each other make anything effort to try to improve their marriage, a sense of understanding would build. I hope this helped :)
PsychoUnicorn
May 19th, 2016 5:26pm
Our parents only want whats best for us therefore, if you want them to stop arguing, just agree to whatever they're saying and then maybe later on, when they are calm, discuss your issue again instead of getting mad at them. This will save the drama and you will get your way :)
kaykayfryee
May 4th, 2016 1:50pm
Tell them that it's affecting you and not just them, Tell them that you want them to stop fighting because you don't want them to split up, it won't only suck for them but it'll effect everyone around them
InsightfulFunnies
May 6th, 2016 10:33am
There really is nothing you can do without making it end badly. Your parents are grown ups and are responsible for their own actions. The best thing to do in a situation like that is NOTHING!
princesslistener2047
May 6th, 2016 5:40pm
Talk to them about how it is making you feel as there child. Maybe they don't know how you feel or isn't aware of all the arguing until someone says something.
HollSS
May 8th, 2016 11:43am
You can't. Their relationship is complicated and exists apart from you, their arguments are not your fault and no-one but your parents can fix whatever's happening in their relationship. Just try to be there for both parents and remember it's as tough for them as it is for you.
SimplyBeing
May 8th, 2016 6:16pm
I am sorry your parents are fighting and that you feel like you have to help them stop. The truth is that we can't control anyone else. We can control how we respond to a situation. The fights must be scary to you. What I have is only a suggestion and it may not fit for you. After a fight and everyone is calm, and you think it is safe, you can say how their fighting makes you feel. If it isn't safe for you to talk to them you can talk to another safe adult. You deserve to have your feelings heard. I wish you didn't have to struggle with this and I hope your parents can understand how their fighting impacts you. I wish you peace ~J
Emilybrewer1
May 19th, 2016 2:32am
Parents arguing is the worst. I am sorry you are going through this. Unfortunately, as the child, you can't really stop them from arguing but you CAN do things to help you. When my parents fought (before they divorced) I often times went to my room and talked to one of my youth group leaders (Or someone whom I trust) on the phone until the fight was over or I was extremely tired. Often times it would be an actual phone call but texting works too. Just something to keep your mind off the yelling.
brilliantSunshine52
May 13th, 2016 9:33pm
This is something you can never do there is no point trying to place your self in the middle it is something that only they 2 can fix between themselves as it there relationship and from my own experience it usually makes you feel worse.
elliejade
May 14th, 2016 4:55pm
You can't make them stop arguing, but when they have calmed down, talking to them about how you feel when they argue may somewhat help. If you're not overly keen on that idea for any reason, you can talk to a listener on here, or someone who you can trust like a teacher or another relative, perhaps a friend.
yasminmarie
May 14th, 2016 12:37am
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do, my parents used to argue a lot and it would sometime get so far. But they stopped and even when they fight now it's about the little things after a few minutes or hours they get back on track, I guess you just have to give a little bit time. Stay strong !
Anonymous
July 25th, 2018 2:14pm
How do I make my parents stop arguing. I know what they’re talking about and partially it’s my fault. They say really rude stuff to each other. And sometimes they even ask me where I want to live because they don’t wanna live with each other. I don’t know what to do
happyApple83
March 3rd, 2016 2:49pm
I don't know that there is a way to make our parents stop arguing, but it may be helpful to tell them how the arguing makes us feel. This may get them to stop, slow down, or argue behind closed doors.
Anonymous
January 21st, 2016 4:26pm
Talk to each one of your parents about it, and they will understand that you don't wants them to argue but if they are arguing about personal issues, don't interfere
Anonymous
January 31st, 2016 10:06am
you cannot make your parents stop arguing with you, what you can do is that make your parent understand your situation by talk to them intimately just like a kid misses a parent's love, if they understand you completely, they will stop arguing with you eventually
InsideTheNbhd
February 5th, 2016 11:18am
I don't think you should have to. It is never your job or fault if your parents have issues with each other
Greatlistener87
February 10th, 2016 7:55am
Your parents are adults and they are responsible for their own actions. You can sit them down and discuss with them on how you feel about them arguing. This might help them to understand that the arguing is affecting you too.
WiltedFlowers
February 10th, 2016 11:46pm
If you get really upset when your parents fight, you might want to talk to them about your feelings. Sometimes, parents don't realize that their arguing makes kids feel upset. If you tell them how you feel, they'll probably try to stop or at least explain to you why they are disagreeing.