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Lauren Abasheva, LMHC
Licensed Professional Counselor
A sex positive, and kink knowledgeable therapist with an open mindset and a clear understanding that we are all different.
Top Rated Answers
I think the answer is in your question itself. He is little and he is your brother. You wouldn't hate him as much when he grows up and matures into a young man. Bear with him in love till then :) It can be hard but it is not impossible. I have asked this question to myself many times but then I remembered that we were born out of the same womb. If I'd hate him then it would mean that I hate myself. He is my sibling after all. My brother from the same mother. Love touches, changes and heals people.
Anonymous
February 2nd, 2018 8:28pm
What you want to do is find out the root of your hatred and find a way to ease the anger. Talking it out is often the best, just approaching it directly.
Anonymous
November 30th, 2019 10:16pm
I completely understand, having a little brother can be the most annoying thing that you have to deal with on a daily basis. But honestly, talking from experience, it does start to get easier. As you both get older, you birth start to mature and see life differently. Your little brother looks up to you. He may be annoying and frustrating, but the thing that you have to remember is- you were probably like that once upon a time. The thing is too, you’ve got a little brother whether you like it or not, so you may as well try to get a lot.
Accept his wrong doings, show him some love in return, no matter what. Then you will be focusing in loving and not hating always. Then a habit and rutine becomes, you understand more to love him and not hate him, but at the same time, teach him with love, what's good to do and whats not. That way you also help to raise him very very well, and then he can proudly say he learned good from you and then say that this is why he also love you. That equals also a better brotherly realtionship. Something that is important between siblings.
Anonymous
October 16th, 2019 1:28pm
What is that you hate about your little brother? Is it the attention lost by your parents? Is it competitive between you both? Have you sat down and seen it from his perspective wondering what he can do to make you love him. Take a moment and put yourself in his shoes, what is the pressure he is under to perform as a success to yoru parents? You are not your brother and it also means you don't have to love him either. The intent is to find a common area where you can understand and build a mutual respect of each other.
Anonymous
August 4th, 2019 8:54am
There are times when we get frustrated with our own near and dear ones. What we need to do is to focus on the good. Think about the positive points of your brother. The good times we have shared. Also, each time we have an issue, think about if the argument or fight is worth it? Is it worth more than our precious bond? Will this present moment of fight or disagreement matter to us in the next 5 years? And after all he is younger! He is a lot less mature than I am right? He would get it one day!
Younger siblings can sometimes be such a pain in the butt. A good way to build that relationship is to hang out with your sibling more. Yes it can be hard at first but eventually you two will bond more and more each day. Family is the most important part of your life and if you need to have good relationships with your family. By spending more time with your siblings you can really build a bond and learn to love each other unconditionally. It will be a struggle at first bonding with a younger sibling since the age difference can affect your relationship, but in the end a good relationship with your brother can bring your family closer.
Having a positive relationship with your siblings can be extremely beneficial, particularly later in life. However, it's not always easy when your sibling has a habit of annoying you. Not only can it can cause frustration and anger for you personally, it can cause conflict within your family and fill your home with tension. Figuring out how to handle your sibling's problematic behavior may take time, but with a little patience and reason, you can learn to defuse the situation and avoid conflict.
remember that he is a person too. he has to learn and grow too. that is not an excuse for who he is now or what he did to make you hate him, but it is a reason. Also, hating takes a lot of energy. you deserve the rest of not hating him. you don't have to suddenly love him, just don't put any more feed into actions or thoughts about hating him. Every time he annoys you or wrongs you, just focus on something different, like yourself. focus on schoolwork or self-care or a friend or something that makes you happy. don't put energy into hate, and it will die out
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2019 9:48pm
You need to focus on the positives of having a younger brother, he can be annoying but he won't always be that way. He might cause trouble but when he grows up he will need your help. In the end they grow up and become more mature and he won't always be the same as he is now. You might have been exactly like him at his age. Trust me they aren't always the same, I hope this helps clear up some fog for you. Also maybe talk to your parents about how to deal with these feelings. Thanks.
Sibling rivalry is totally normal, and almost every sibling will have fights between each other. You must remember at the end of the day, no matter how annoying or silly or childish they are, they are your family member. They look up to you as their older sibling and by showing love, acceptance and forgiving, they learn that for the future and will (or should hopefully) reflect that back on to you, because you are just as annoying to them as they are to you.. and by being able to have an argument and forgive each other, it helps you both grow and learn things from each other to use in the future.
First realise that hate is a strong word, then try to find good things, at least 3 that you appreciate about your brother. Love does not appear from thin air it is to be worked on, so try everyday to find the good in him. If possible then find activities that you can do together or bond over and see how that makes you feel. It is also important to realise that hating your brother does not make you a monster or a bad person. You can work towards improving your relationship and see where that takes you in life.
Just remember that you were young at one time as well. They're experiencing life the same way you did. Help guide them rather than shrug them off. Be someone they can look up to rather than someone they are afraid of. Ask yourself what you would do if you had an older sibling who was mean to you anytime you asked a question or wanted someone to hang out with. Would your feelings be hurt? Would you be scared to even go near that sibling? Don't do to them what you wouldn't want done to you. Be a leader!
Anonymous
November 14th, 2018 3:09pm
First you need to know why you hate your little brother, what did he do to you to make you feel that way?
Sadly you can‘t stop hating someone from one second to another, but you can slowly change your feelings.
He is your brother, he loves you and deep inside you love him too or you wouldn‘t have asked this question!
Talk to him, try to go out with him or do something together, maybe you‘ll notice he is better then you think!
Did he do something bad?
Or did he take the part of the „little kid“ in the family?
Whatever it is, it‘s your decision, also if you won‘t stop hating him right away, it‘s a giant step asking how you could do it!
Anonymous
October 3rd, 2018 9:51pm
To start with, maybe try do a little more with your little brother. Engage in games with him and if he is a teen maybe try watch a movie and have family fun time to be social with him. Be nice and try avoid arguments over films. Maybe take him our or go to the park? Maybe even go round to the corner shop together? Just do something fun and active with him. Have fun and enjoy yourself. Also, the word hate is quite a strong word, maybe you dislike him. Anyway take my advice and try it out.
Anonymous
August 17th, 2018 6:23pm
Try to understand him and look at things from his perspective. He may be going through things that you are not aware of. Sometimes things are not what they seem. Don't be too harsh on him, it may hurt him and make things worse but be firm where needed. Remember that he is your sibling and may not mean harm but probably feels comfortable around you. People tend to show their worst sides to people whom they trust to be by them. Just take it as he trusts you and loves you dearly and that is why he is behaving like that.
I can certainly understand how little brothers may cramp your style. ;) Tell me a little about what you hate about him. Just for fun, for everything you name that you hate about him you must name one thing that you like about him. Let's try that, ok?
Loving him and understanding their situation. See their point of view ask them what happened if something’s wrong. Bond with him and spend time have fun be loving, compassionate and understanding. Have a proper talk, play, read together, teach him, learn something together, eat feed him, etc.. Help them with school homework 📚 Be there for them when they need someone they can trust. Always talk to each other everyday! Spend time with the whole family and have fun! Family and friends being social and happy! Have a movie night. Help each other out and love one another…
Anonymous
February 7th, 2018 12:50pm
everyday think of 3 things that you love and appreciate about him, concentrating on the positive things about him may help lessen the negatives.
Understanding that your brother is younger than you, and is your family. No matter what, you’ll always have him.
Have you tried finding a mutual interest something that you both enjoy doing or something you could enjoy doing together? Maybe even taking time to look at photos and recall memories from happier times can help bring you closer together
Anonymous
March 7th, 2018 4:45am
He is your little brother, imagine if you lost him. Think of that feeling, not a good feeling right? Don't take everything for granted, especially for your loved ones.
Anonymous
March 8th, 2018 5:26am
This is a question that requires you to look at a lot of things. There would always be a reason for such hate. The best way would be to look at why you hate them. Going to the root of the problem is important. having found what the cause is , you need see if a solution can be found. Since you want to stop hating you little brother, and the fundamental being "you" want to stop , you should know that where there is a will there is always a way. Primarily however it would be best to see the root of the problem
I think getting to know him and learning why you are so angry about things could help you find compassion in things. Siblings are often hard to deal with, but remember, they too are going through things. Perhaps he may not see things as maturely as you do, but give it some time, he may need to grow a bit more. Most siblings torture each other when they are young, but gain a great bond as they grow. Be patient and try to stay calm during those tough days by not giving into the anger but instead, find a positive coping skill that works for you. It could be writing, music, taking a walk or calling a friend. Good luck!
Try to understand where he's coming from. Try to remember what you were like at that age. Maybe try and spend some time with him or try and give yourself space if you need some. Remember that he's growing and we've all been there.
A lot of the time, hating someone comes from them reminding you of something you don't like about yourself. It's important not to be outwardly rude towards your little brother and instead question what it is about him you hate, and if the things you hate about him, are fears about yourself you have yet to address.
Try to see the little things in him that make you happy, spend more time with him if you can and try to understand him a bit better and come to terms with why you hate/dislike him.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2018 6:13am
I dont think you ever really hate your little brother. I think that there are moments where you want to hate him, but at the end of the day if it comes to protecting him, you have his back. I say just talk to your little brother about what the issue is.
You can't choose your family, when you hate someone it's because you see that hate in yourself. Accept what is and embrace it.
Anonymous
June 29th, 2018 8:36pm
how about spending more time together doing activities like playing games & getting to know each other better
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