How to stop hating your little brother?
Last Updated: 04/04/2021 at 5:06pm
Traci Seery, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Are you living your best life? My style is collaborate, supportive and compassionate. Together, we will develop goals that produce positive results to make your life better.
Top Rated Answers
Try to see the little things in him that make you happy, spend more time with him if you can and try to understand him a bit better and come to terms with why you hate/dislike him.
Siblings can be hard to handle sometimes. Creating a stronger bond with them and finding an activity you both like may help both of you in the long run.
Siblings are hard to love and hate to be honest. For me, I just take the good things and forget the bad. Sometimes it's hard and we do argue but I know that he is family and I'll always baby him as the elder sister
Try to understand him and look at things from his perspective. He may be going through things that you are not aware of. Sometimes things are not what they seem. Don't be too harsh on him, it may hurt him and make things worse but be firm where needed. Remember that he is your sibling and may not mean harm but probably feels comfortable around you. People tend to show their worst sides to people whom they trust to be by them. Just take it as he trusts you and loves you dearly and that is why he is behaving like that.
To start with, maybe try do a little more with your little brother. Engage in games with him and if he is a teen maybe try watch a movie and have family fun time to be social with him. Be nice and try avoid arguments over films. Maybe take him our or go to the park? Maybe even go round to the corner shop together? Just do something fun and active with him. Have fun and enjoy yourself. Also, the word hate is quite a strong word, maybe you dislike him. Anyway take my advice and try it out.
First you need to know why you hate your little brother, what did he do to you to make you feel that way? Sadly you can‘t stop hating someone from one second to another, but you can slowly change your feelings. He is your brother, he loves you and deep inside you love him too or you wouldn‘t have asked this question! Talk to him, try to go out with him or do something together, maybe you‘ll notice he is better then you think! Did he do something bad? Or did he take the part of the „little kid“ in the family? Whatever it is, it‘s your decision, also if you won‘t stop hating him right away, it‘s a giant step asking how you could do it!
Just remember that you were young at one time as well. They're experiencing life the same way you did. Help guide them rather than shrug them off. Be someone they can look up to rather than someone they are afraid of. Ask yourself what you would do if you had an older sibling who was mean to you anytime you asked a question or wanted someone to hang out with. Would your feelings be hurt? Would you be scared to even go near that sibling? Don't do to them what you wouldn't want done to you. Be a leader!
First realise that hate is a strong word, then try to find good things, at least 3 that you appreciate about your brother. Love does not appear from thin air it is to be worked on, so try everyday to find the good in him. If possible then find activities that you can do together or bond over and see how that makes you feel. It is also important to realise that hating your brother does not make you a monster or a bad person. You can work towards improving your relationship and see where that takes you in life.
Sibling rivalry is totally normal, and almost every sibling will have fights between each other. You must remember at the end of the day, no matter how annoying or silly or childish they are, they are your family member. They look up to you as their older sibling and by showing love, acceptance and forgiving, they learn that for the future and will (or should hopefully) reflect that back on to you, because you are just as annoying to them as they are to you.. and by being able to have an argument and forgive each other, it helps you both grow and learn things from each other to use in the future.
You need to focus on the positives of having a younger brother, he can be annoying but he won't always be that way. He might cause trouble but when he grows up he will need your help. In the end they grow up and become more mature and he won't always be the same as he is now. You might have been exactly like him at his age. Trust me they aren't always the same, I hope this helps clear up some fog for you. Also maybe talk to your parents about how to deal with these feelings. Thanks.
remember that he is a person too. he has to learn and grow too. that is not an excuse for who he is now or what he did to make you hate him, but it is a reason. Also, hating takes a lot of energy. you deserve the rest of not hating him. you don't have to suddenly love him, just don't put any more feed into actions or thoughts about hating him. Every time he annoys you or wrongs you, just focus on something different, like yourself. focus on schoolwork or self-care or a friend or something that makes you happy. don't put energy into hate, and it will die out
Having a positive relationship with your siblings can be extremely beneficial, particularly later in life. However, it's not always easy when your sibling has a habit of annoying you. Not only can it can cause frustration and anger for you personally, it can cause conflict within your family and fill your home with tension. Figuring out how to handle your sibling's problematic behavior may take time, but with a little patience and reason, you can learn to defuse the situation and avoid conflict.
Younger siblings can sometimes be such a pain in the butt. A good way to build that relationship is to hang out with your sibling more. Yes it can be hard at first but eventually you two will bond more and more each day. Family is the most important part of your life and if you need to have good relationships with your family. By spending more time with your siblings you can really build a bond and learn to love each other unconditionally. It will be a struggle at first bonding with a younger sibling since the age difference can affect your relationship, but in the end a good relationship with your brother can bring your family closer.
There are times when we get frustrated with our own near and dear ones. What we need to do is to focus on the good. Think about the positive points of your brother. The good times we have shared. Also, each time we have an issue, think about if the argument or fight is worth it? Is it worth more than our precious bond? Will this present moment of fight or disagreement matter to us in the next 5 years? And after all he is younger! He is a lot less mature than I am right? He would get it one day!
What is that you hate about your little brother? Is it the attention lost by your parents? Is it competitive between you both? Have you sat down and seen it from his perspective wondering what he can do to make you love him. Take a moment and put yourself in his shoes, what is the pressure he is under to perform as a success to yoru parents? You are not your brother and it also means you don't have to love him either. The intent is to find a common area where you can understand and build a mutual respect of each other.
Accept his wrong doings, show him some love in return, no matter what. Then you will be focusing in loving and not hating always. Then a habit and rutine becomes, you understand more to love him and not hate him, but at the same time, teach him with love, what's good to do and whats not. That way you also help to raise him very very well, and then he can proudly say he learned good from you and then say that this is why he also love you. That equals also a better brotherly realtionship. Something that is important between siblings.
I completely understand, having a little brother can be the most annoying thing that you have to deal with on a daily basis. But honestly, talking from experience, it does start to get easier. As you both get older, you birth start to mature and see life differently. Your little brother looks up to you. He may be annoying and frustrating, but the thing that you have to remember is- you were probably like that once upon a time. The thing is too, you’ve got a little brother whether you like it or not, so you may as well try to get a lot.
I think the answer is in your question itself. He is little and he is your brother. You wouldn't hate him as much when he grows up and matures into a young man. Bear with him in love till then :) It can be hard but it is not impossible. I have asked this question to myself many times but then I remembered that we were born out of the same womb. If I'd hate him then it would mean that I hate myself. He is my sibling after all. My brother from the same mother. Love touches, changes and heals people.
Ha! I spent so much of my childhood feeling resentment toward my brother. He constantly frustrated me. The only way that I found to overcome this resentment was to accept that apart from being my brother he is a human trying to make his way in the world. His way is not my way. I think my earlier frustration was purely from not understanding or accepting that someone else is allowed to live their life as they please and I don't have to agree with it. So, in sum, I think it comes down to acceptance.
Well first off you should never HATE anyone. God made every single one of us and we should love and respect each other. I know little siblings can be oh so very annoying. I have 3 so i know what you are going through. But hating them is never the right answer. When a younger sibling is being annoying you can take 3 approaches. 1 ignore them until they go away (don't say a word or give any reaction at all) 2. Polity ask them to stop because you need them to focus or you had a bad day or give them a good reason. 3. Yell at them or get your parents or another sibling to get onto them. This last option my end in hurt and bitter feelings but is also effective. Just always have an apology ready to give if you do something mean.
just be nice to people. You need to me nice and kind and relaxed. don't make a mountain out of a mole hill. you know what I mean. You have to take a walk if you are angry. just go for a walk until you cool down. do you know what I mean it's better that way. anger causes people to do a lot of bad things. so its not a good idea to act in anger. you know what i mean. take a long walk. and when you have calmed down then deal with the issues at hand peace
Hating your little brother is not a logical choice - he is, after all, related to you by blood. You are there to protect and take care of him. He needs you to be kind and empathetic to him - you were in shoes at some point. Perhaps, hating on him is a result of low-esteem. You may find the good traits in yourself and also find them in him. To help you change your view and perhaps your impulse to 'hate' on him, you can do more activities with him and help build a bond. Also, perhaps a little communication may go a long way in helping establishing a more secure and understanding bond.
Trust me! there is no such thing as hating your brother. He's from your bloodline, your family! Spending time with someone extensively can get annoying though, I'll give you that. I understand that siblings can get annoying at times, but I hope you have it in your heart to not hate him! This question would differ on how annoying your little brother is being. Is he being rude? Excessive? Destructive? Either way, it is your opportunity to rise up as a leader (not aggressively, just let him know that you are older and you have more control without being too bossy) and show him that these things are not allowed in the household. And if all gets desperate, talk to your parents about it.
It is normal for siblings to bicker, that's just the name of the game called growing up and usually it's because you haven't yet found a common ground with your sibling. Try to find something you both like to do and can form a bond over.. Like video games or sports. Once you start to see him as more then just your bratty little brother, you'll start to consider him a friend, someone you can have fun with and laugh with. Make time for you two to do things together or even with your entire family. I'm sure your parents will help if they know you're trying to get along with your brother. And at the end of the day you might realize he might one day be the best friend you never had.
Can you try to put yourself in his place? His actions may bother you, but do your best to imagine why he might be doing the things he does. It's really hard when a younger sibling is annoying or aggressive, but it's possible he may be crying out for attention or support in some way. Ask him about his day and show interest in his activities. Show that you are the older and more mature sibling by putting aside your frustration and being a friend to him. Be an example of the respect you wish he showed you. This is really hard but may help you see more good in your little brother even when he's being difficult.
Its okay to hate some actions that people take, either because you don't agree with their point of view or because you think it's hurtful. However, nobody grows up wanting to be a mean person, so they have the potential to change. While I don't always like what people I love do, I make sure that I recognize that they are an individual with their own point of view, and I make sure I'm not assuming their intent. If they are hurting someone with their actions, I make sure I let them know that. However, hating them as a person would simply dismiss their potential to grow from that action. If you feel like you cannot forgive his actions, that's okay too. I would still recommend not hating him, as hate can weigh heavily on you and it's just not worth it in the end. Not hating someone is not the same as tolerating someone's hurtful behavior. It is simply acknowledging the situation and choosing to move on from it if there's nothing you can do about it.
Finding a common ground where you can bond and learn more about each other; maybe over a hobbie or interest you both share. For example, if you and your little brother both enjoy a particular movie, invite him to watch it with you and afterwards have a discussion about what parts you liked best or areas the movie could be improved in. Small growths between you guys can possibly change a feeling of hatred towards him and turn into a neutral ground and maybe eventually into a friendship. Good luck with this, hope you guys can find some common ground.
Be patience. Try to speak with your brother when you both are in a good mood. Try to work out your differences respectfully. Discuss one issue at a time. And if it is still hard to get along than maintain space. Maybe with spending time apart you both might have a better chance at patching things up and letting go of the past unpleasant feelings. Try to understand why you don't like him. Have a mediator like your parents to help your relationship. Or someone totally detached from the situation. Especially try to avoid having more conflicts with him.
In your mind, first create a space where you see yourself as stronger, older and wiser than your little brother. When you have strengthened this image, choose to see yourself treating him with compassion, no matter how difficult he is. Acknowledge the pain he has caused you but choose to love him unconditionally anyway. If you manage to do this, you might even be capable of seeing yourself as becoming his warm and protective older sibling. No matter what your little brother has done to hurt you, you can make it better, and the faster you act on it, the easier it is. If you distance yourself from your little brother for a long time, it might get more difficult to reconnect with him. Choose to forgive him right away because that is the fastest way to a peaceful state of mind. When he hurts you or disrupts your peace, create that space again and communicate to him how his behavior is affecting you.
I would say that communication is here and that it would be best to find a way to sit down with him and to try and talk about the current issues you may have with him to come to a mutual understanding. When you are able to come to a mutual understanding, it would be best to try and see how you will be able y to work with eachother instead of against eachother for example maybe trying to spend time with your brother by playing a game could be a small step into learning how to have more positive feelings towards him. Talking to parents can also help as well as you can work together as a family
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