I always feel my family is judging me for some reason or the other. How do I get over that?
Last Updated: 07/03/2018 at 11:52am
Paola Giordani, Psychoanalyst
I have helped and am helping people cope with loss, divorce, anguish and parenting. Depression is also a major issue that comes up.
Top Rated Answers
Learn not to care what other people think about you. Take what they have to say about you into consideration, but if you like who you are than who cares about what anybody else thinks.
It can be very hard to get over family judging you. Your family has known you your whole life, and are often very close to you. It's even worse when you're a minor and have a dependent relationship with them, and are unable to distance yourself if you need to. I have a difficult relationship with my family, because of my decision to not speak to my father and also religious reasons. They often judge me for things that I don't feel are wrong, and spending any time with them is hard, to the point I often don't anymore. The way I cope with this is to think about my relationships with the other people in my life. Do they care about me? What do they think of me? People I know and care about outside my family think very differently of me, so I try and give weight to their opinions as well. And most importantly, how do I feel about myself? Do I feel like what I'm doing is right, or that I'm doing my best? At the end of the day, we have to answer to ourselves, and we're the only ones we can control. It doesn't stop the judgement or rejection from hurting, but it can ease it a little and give some peace.
I think the best way to get over feelings like that is to just become comfortable with yourself. I know, easier said than done. But once you become confident with yourself and who you are, then the opinions of others wouldn't matter as much. Maybe they are judging you, but it could be because they know how amazing you truly are, or your amazing potential. So, reach that potential, become confident and comfortable with your own skin, and then other judgments wouldn't bother you so much.
I often have felt judged by family, as well, and the best thing I have done is learn how to not take it personally. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with whomever is passing judgment. Your life is your life. Express yourself and live however you choose. :)
It's hard to know how people are really feeling unless you talk to them about it, if you feel you and your family don't get along sit them down and talk about it, if they aren't interested in talking it out then you shouldn't bother trying to gain their appreciation. But even so, don't let anyone other than yourself judge you, you're fantastic just the way you want to be, and no one else should tell you how to live your life
Well, the best way of getting rid of that kind of feeling may be just straight-forwardly facing it. Maybe you can try talking to your parents about it if you feel really bad about it or trying to objectively think about it before thinking they are plainly judging you: try changing the "there they go again" kind of thought into a more positive one, probably the are just being critic and don't want to harm you.
People will always judge you no matter what you do ? But when it comes to family we need to earn their trust ,for that we need to communicate and see what's missing so that we try to fix that issue. Communication is the key to relationships!
Learn to be comfortable in your own skin by being the person you want to be and by doing things that make you happy, then when you like yourself, it wont matter so much what anyone else thinks. You could try talking to your family about the feelings your having and by doing so you can find out if your insecure (which can then be worked on) or if your family have got something that is bothering them (which can be discussed).
They are family, they love you and would want the best for you. Why would they judge you? Always remember if you feel strongly that they are judging you then have a talk with them about it to sort it out.
Be yourself, your family love you regardless. Be respectful of their most ardent wishes but if you enjoy something you should do it
In life there will always be people that will judge you and no matter what you will do they will continue. What I suggest it that you just take a step back from the situation, and take a minute or 2 to reflect. Are your family really judging you? If so just take deep breath and flush all negative thoughts that you might have about situation and show them that you don't care that they're judging and continue doing what makes you happy.
Try to think otherwise. It's not their intention to judge, maybe they're just worried about you and want you to be better
Maybe confront them about it, or talk about it. Ask them questions you feel you need to move on, or maybe it's just about your self-esteem. As long as you are satisfied with what you do, make sure that other people know that you are happy.
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