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I hate my husband or wife. Why?

120 Answers
Last Updated: 07/24/2020 at 2:22am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Raifiel Cyril, Masters in Applied Psychology


Everyone needs a little support from time to time to take the next step. I am here to listen and help you achieve what your heart desires.

Top Rated Answers
June 10th, 2016 12:24pm
You have to ask yourself why you're with the person in the first place and the direction you want your relationship to go in. Did your spouse do something you don't like?
June 15th, 2016 3:54pm
It may be because you are unsure of your partner's sex. I would hate them too if I were locked into a relationship and still unsure whether I married a man or a woman.
June 15th, 2016 11:42pm
Take a piece of paper and write down a list of positives and negatives about your partner, this should give you a good idea, but if you hate them then you may be in the wrong relationship and moving forward maybe the best option.
June 16th, 2016 2:03am
Maybe it's not the most healthy relationship if you don't like them. I'm not going to give advice, but there could be possible visitations with a relationship therapist?
June 16th, 2016 10:32pm
hate is such a strong word, identifying the reasons why these emotions have started to blossom is a good start and working on the root cause will help to build a better relationship.
June 19th, 2016 10:55pm
Maybe you have spent so much time with them that you start to get annoyed with some of their habits.
July 3rd, 2016 11:26pm
Ask yourself why. Examine your feelings. What is it about them that is pushing your buttons? What is it about the relationship that isn't working? Is there a lingering resentment left over from a previous experience with this person? Were you unable to communicate how you felt about something that happened in the past? There could be any number of reasons, talking it over with them or with an independant 3rd party might be the key to overcoming the way you feel.
July 6th, 2016 8:40pm
Husband or wife? I'm assuming you wonder why/how people can hate their spouse? It can be for so many reasons, such as falling out of love for the person, they may have been unfaithful or lied about something etc. It's different in each marriage.
July 14th, 2016 6:57pm
Well I'm divorced so it would be easy to give lots of reasons! That said, hate is a very strong and negative emotion and one I try to avoid at all costs, it's detrimental to all concerned...and life is far too short. Move on and be happy :)
July 20th, 2016 8:12pm
The reason could be as simple as you are living a life full of compromises and since you have no one else to blame your spouse is the easy target or the option is they really deserve the hate and dislike and you have been bottling up the dissonance for so long that it has now changed into hatred
July 23rd, 2016 7:05pm
Only you know why you hate/dislike your Husband/Wife. You can start by answering this question my making a list of the things that you don't like about your significant other.
July 28th, 2016 1:28pm
I understand that it could be difficult, but maybe sometimes we just don't forgot to show appreciation?
July 29th, 2016 12:55am
That's hard to answer from this end as no one really knows your relationship. Consider things that may have happened to cause these feelings and try talking them out with your spouse as many times communication, or lack of, can be an issues.
July 30th, 2016 4:45pm
Maybe because he/shes do something bad and you don't like it, or your feeling change about your husband/wife and you can't be with them anymore
August 5th, 2016 9:08pm
Only you can answer that question. Reflect on what brought you two together in the first place and then what has changed. That may help set you in the right direction to finding your answer.
August 6th, 2016 4:14pm
because when i love him he doesn't love me back the way i want him to! he says he loves me his own way, i don't understand that...
August 17th, 2016 4:51am
Because she can never understand me or my emotions. I can understand her emotionsn or feelings but she never does mine
August 20th, 2016 7:25am
Satisfaction and connectivity are important things in a relation between couples. It's not just physical. You need to be satisfied mentally with your partner. Satisfied why the way he acts at the time of crisis, satisfied by the way he handles responsibility. Satisfied by the way their partner respects their in laws. Satisfied by the way he think life is about. Connectivity will resolve their inner issues. If someone have to wait, they need to be connected to understand the reason so that the issue doesn't get bigger. If these things are missing then a husband or wife can hate their partner and that's valid too.
August 21st, 2016 1:28am
There could be a number of reasons why and to be honest, you are the only person that can know why, you need to stay true to yourself, spend some time away or get some headspace to yourself, and try to figure out what is going on, you could try writing it down, and after that you can figure out if you can work through whatever issues you're having with your significant other, talk to them about it too, stay true to yourself and be honest!
August 26th, 2016 7:57pm
Well it could be bad habit they have that stikes a nerve, it could be something they did to upset you, talk it over with them, its the best option right now.
August 27th, 2016 12:29pm
Maybe because of something that they did or said? if you hate your partner then you really shouldnt be with them.
August 28th, 2016 10:10am
They may have revealed traits about themselves that you did not know about before and they may be causing strain due to this.
August 31st, 2016 9:42am
Do you feel that you shouldn´t hate but love them? I have good and bad news for you: You rarely can control your feelings towards someone. But on the other hand, that means you´re not a bad person for feeling a certain way. We will always be frustrated by the ones we love, and attachment can give rise to resentment. It´s okay to hate your spouse a little bit, as long as it doesn´t consume most of your feelings towards him or her. If that is the case, and the frustration is the biggest part in your relationship, I would overthink what you can do about it and if not, reconsider that relationship.
September 2nd, 2016 7:28pm
This question cannot be answered because it's a deep problem and there can be lots of reasons. You can try and contact me or any other psychologist if you want the answer
September 4th, 2016 4:38pm
You probably know the answer, it's just hidden in you. Did he/she make something you hate? Are you sure you love him/her?
September 9th, 2016 6:49pm
Hate is something which comes one when either there is not much love, or way tooo much of live. Any one of them can be the reason, but let me tell you hate never helped anyone so stay together stay in love, that is best..
September 10th, 2016 3:31am
In any relationship, there are things we get to know about the other. In a marriage, everything is a compromise and a give and take. A wife may hate her husband because she feels he is not being supported or she is feeling taken for granted by her husband. Ill feeling start to develop, begins with hurt, then anger and ends with hatred. The husband can feel the same for his wife. Many of the hatred also comes from miscommunication. In any relationship, especially in a marriage, strong communication is needed to make a strong bond. Hatred will be diminished from open communication.
September 16th, 2016 11:00am
Depends on the realtionship you have with him/her and the bond you have maybe there are some thing that you cant forgive yet ?
September 18th, 2016 5:42pm
I hate my husband at times because he is abusive, he is demanding and everything should revolve around him. It is just not fair. And I hate it.
September 23rd, 2016 10:50am
Write down or observe your emotions as to why you hate your spouse. Sometimes due to some memories buried in subconscious mind may also lead to triggering of thoughts. Sit and discuss calmly which may help to understand each other better