I'm 21 years old and my parents didn't accept my boyfriend. We are from different class family and he lost his parents when he was young. I need help - what can I do?
Last Updated: 09/07/2021 at 5:37pm
Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC
Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.
Top Rated Answers
Most of the time, parents are scared of the bad influences their child(ren) encounters in their lives. Sometime, it's for the well-being of the child(ren) and others, it's just for appearences - they couldn't care less about the happiness of their child(ren) and only about their reputations. Try and see their point of view on why they didn't accept him so you can share with them the reasons why their fears aren't founded. If you feel like you're not in a toxic relationship with your bf and he helps you grow as a person, give time to your parent to get to know him and see the same thing as you. And if he's the right person, they'll see it by his behavior overtime.
I am extremely sorry to hear about your parents not approving of your boyfriend. It is a distressing situation when you have to convince your parents why a particular guy is better for you. Definitely, it is a difficult task as parents are more experienced than us and can use that excuse to reject your boyfriend even if he is a nice guy. Irrespective of the age, parents are always protective of their children and wants only the best things for them. Sometimes, it is really important to listen to what they say as we can't see things that are visible to them. Similarly, it may occur that sometimes there is no problem in your selected partner but because of status issues such as yours(different class family), it becomes a matter of ego and respect. Since he also lost his parents at a tender age and was not brought up by his own parents, your parents might be concerned thinking that he may not be a good match for you. The only thing possible is to convince your parents politely and let them know about him as the person he is. Letting them know everything about him and not hiding things related to any of the aspects of his personality may be a good start. I feel that convincing your boyfriend to meet your parents might work well. Then, maybe do your best to make your parents meet him in person so that they could see his mannerism themselves (In case, if that's what they are concerned about). If they like him, well and good but if not - it is for you to decide whether you would continue being with him and leave your parents or listen to what they say and break up with him. Wishing you the best!
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