I'm cheating on my boyfriend or girlfriend. Am I a bad person?
Last Updated: 09/30/2019 at 7:38pm
Tim Van Rheenen, M.A., LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
I will work to help you get unstuck. Together we will apply methodologies that work to find freedom from trauma, sexually addictive behaviors, and relational problems.
Top Rated Answers
People make mistakes, that doesn't make them bad people. However, you are doing something wrong that could potentially hurt your partner. You've violated the trust of another. What prevents us from becoming bad people is acknowledging our mistakes and owning up to them. As hard as it may be, you need to tell them that you are cheating on them. The guilt that you feel because of it proves you're not a bad person.
No, you're not a bad person. It's just a matter of time when you'll be clear of your choice. And every thing will be back in their places. Don't ever degrade yourself.
Yes it does. Cheating isn't a solution! If you are not happy with your partner you simply talk about it with them and if things don't work out with you, you leave them. Why would you want to cause them pain? By cheating you're literally crushing them. They will always feel insecure because of you. They will think that they are not good enough and that they don't deserve to be with someone. Cheating is not a solution. At least don't cause your partner pain.
No, you are not a bad person. Some people want a polygamous relationship and some want multiple partners but don't know how to handle their needs for more than one partner.
Congratulations! You are a human being. Making mistakes are part of our journey and are very very important to our development. The difficulty comes in when we stop learning from those mistakes and carry on blindly. If your actions are hurting someone else then you need to be honest with them. The lies we tell others often leave a little bit of poison in our own souls and the more lies we tell... the more poisoned our souls become. It doesn't mean you are a bad person, but it does mean that you have an opportunity to be better the next time.
Your question seems to suggest that you may be experiencing some guilt. Asking if you are a bad person sounds like you are reflecting on your choices. It seems like you are interested in making the best decisions. That is commendable. Reflection is a positive step to ensure we are making the best decisions. How would you feel about re shifting the question to discover why you have arrived at the decisions you have made? Would you like to maintain your relationship? What will that take? What do you think the effect of your choices will be?
You are a bad person, why would you do such a idiotic thing. That person that loves you, and you just trued your back on them and stabbed them, why? Why do something that will hurt you and and the person you love and just a short time. Sure its all fun and games until your boyfriend or girlfriend finds out and is torn to pieces,by something stupid you HAD to do.
personally I don't believe in cheating.. but I will look at the wider scale of life there are a lot of reasons why people cheat and without knowing the actually reason why one cheat we cant say the person is bad. there are many things that can lead to cheating such as: lack of emotional support ( social , physically) etc boredom ( long years of relationship and want to experience something new) there are many reasons but these are the two main ones. in order to indicate whether the person is bad or good best to know why he/ she cheated empathize then a decision can be made there after...
Let us put that question on whether if you are a bad person or not behind us for the moment. What is important now is that you got to know that you are a person, and people make mistakes, we are imperfect creatures. It is more crucial to know if you are mentally okay, I'm sure you have been through a great deal of pain from what has happened and you need to ensure that your heart is now out of the danger zone. Keep calm, allow all anger and guilt to simmer down. Once things are better, ask yourself now what do you want next. Be very clear about it and then proceed with your task step by step. You may fail but at the end of the day, you have tried. Should you need to speak with someone, you are always welcome to 7 Cups, our listeners are more than ready to have a nice chat with you. Get well soon!
Of course not! You are an incredibly unique person who is seeking validation from an outside source. This usually means that you aren't receiving something in your current relationship that you are looking for. Try looking within yourself and seeing what you are really searching for. If nothing big stands out, sometimes it can be an issue with needing higher levels of attention or validation too. Look further within yourself and find out if your current relationship is really the one you want to be in. If it isn't, take steps to change your path. And if it is, try communicating with your partner about what you weren't receiving in the first place.
You're not a bad person, we are all humans with emotions that are hard to understand at times! However, it is important to think about how your actions might hurt your boyfriend or girlfriend. Are their feelings important to you? By talking to your significant other about the problem, you can end the relationship and move on to a person who you feel happier with. Talking about it can also lead to the two of you working on your problems, which means a healthier relationship!
cheating wouldnt make you a BAD person. but it is a bad thing to do. i think that you might need to talk it out with him/her and sort things out. and if she doesnt want you back, then you have to understand and respect it. and if she does, you need to realize what an amazing person you have by your side. but by all mean, cheating does nothing but harm. so please, never do it again.
You aren't a bad person for cheating. HOWEVER, that doesn't mean you're doing the right thing. Being a bad person would mean you're doing things with the intent to hurt someone, and getting pleasure from it. Everyone does things that aren't right in their lives, that doesn't make them bad people , it makes them human. So no you aren't a bad person, but what you're doing isn't right. You need to think about what you want. What you really want. And then you need to make a choice . But either way both your partner and the person you're cheating with should know about the other. Especially if there was unprotected sexual intercourse.
You're not a bad person but you are doing a bad thing and your partner is going to get hurt. You either need to stop cheating and tbe honest with them or break it off so you can both find someone who really makes you happy.
You are creating an environment of mistrust. Relationships are built on honesty, love, and communication. You are not being honest and you are not communicating. You do not treat someone you love with disrespect in this way. It is OK to tell your current boyfriend or girlfriend that you are over the relationship and want to mvoe on - or that you want to have an open relationship - or that you don't want to hurt them but don't feel this is right for you at this time. That is a healthier way of dealing with your urges than by stringing people along. You and the people you are involving are currently at this moment forming unhealthy emotional patterns that they will associate with relationships and love, and prevent them from finding their perfect match that much longer. At least be honest.
Well, it's a mixed situation. Due to some circumstances, you may had cheated upon her/him, as there was no choice or option left with you. That's completely ok, but keeping your partner in darkness is not at all accepted. If it's ok with you, then you can go on, but in my opinion, you should stop this. GOOD LUCK!
This doesn't instantly make you a bad person. You should talk about this with them because it isn't a healthy way of having a relationship.
You're not a bad person, but you should reevaluate your morals. What is important to you? The way you treat people will reflect your morals. If you don't want people to think badly of you, you should think before you get into s relationship or cheat. The way you treat someone will forever be a staple of your behavior to them.
No, you're not a bad person. Our needs at a given time can be different and there are cases when a partner cannot be all we want them to be or when we plain want something else. However, you should always be mindful of the potential consequences, as well as the mental strain such a situation can put on you.
While in the eyes of some individuals, cheating can be a rather hurtful act towards your partner. You are not necessarily a bad person, as this will depend upon your morals and intentions. If you acted to fulfill revenge or a vendetta then the intentions are somewhat bad, but if you were hurting and being neglected then the intentions are not as bad. Cheating is not a healthy habit but sometimes it can be a major event in a relationship to test the willingness of both couples to cope and live with difficulties each other experiences. I would suggest an honest conversation with your partner and that you try to refrain from cheating again. Warm wishes :)
Cheating doesn't make you a bad person.You probably weren't happy about your partner or you felt bored for your relationship and that's why you lead yourself into this situation.
Cheating is never a good idea. If you are cheating, the best option is to end it with one of them. It never works out.
cheating on boyfriend or girlfriend is not being bad or good.you are cheating yourself. you are breaking someone's heart who truly trusted you, truly loved you. you don't deserve their true love. if you don't like them, better reject them. a true rejection is better than fake relationship.
It depends on the situation on basis on which you are doing it. Let's day you are happy right now in whatever life you are leading but you just do it because of some greed of your or a particular need that you need to fulfill, damm sure it makes you a bad person. Let's consider the case when you are unhappy with the person and you are in it because you don't want to break the hearts of other. At the same time you happen to meat someone you are most comfortable with. You like the way person makes you feel about your day, about your life. Then you are not a bad person. You are just wishing for happiness for real and not by hoping that the other one you are with will change sometime or will make you feel the same as that other, you are cheating with is doing. But important thing is keeping it hidden will definitely make you feel bad or make you feel that you are a bad person. So you should consider telling the truth as soon as possible,
You are not a bad person but, you will hurt your boyfriend/girlfriend by cheating instead of breaking up with them, it will make them sad and make yourself sad. Breaking up would be the best possible answer in this case.
Your morals are for you to differentiate between good and bad, if your subconsciously believe your decision is wrong; then it is wrong to cheat. However, if you subconsciously believe it is right; then it is right to cheat. The question is "Would you follow societies conventions?"
Depends on whether you like it or not. Everybody can make a mistake but cheating on your partner intentially and without qualms is bad.
Try asking yourself why you are cheating in this relationship, what are you lacking or gaining that you cant in your committed relationship? Are you keeping yourself and your partner from finding happiness?
I don't think cheating necessarily indicates you're a bad person - it might be more a reflection of how you feel about the relationship you're in. However - that doesn't mean that what you're doing isn't a "bad thing". You're still cheating, regardless of the reason, regardless of whether you're a "good" or "bad" person. The fact is, good people do bad things all the time, and other people still get hurt by those actions.
No, you are not a bad person. The key is to find the route to why you are doing this. But you are never a bad person, you are harming your significant other but you can always forgive yourself. It’s alright to be ashamed and confused, people cheat because something isn’t being fulfilled in their life, so find what you’re missing and move on to be a happier better person. Forgive yourself, and move on to what makes you happier, clearly it isn’t your partner. And I know it’s scary to be alone but that’s when you self reflect and learn to love yourself despite your wrong doings. I’m here for you, I understand you. xoxo Audri
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