I'm cheating on my boyfriend or girlfriend. Am I a bad person?
136 Answers
Last Updated: 09/30/2019 at 7:38pm
Moderated by
Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.
Top Rated Answers
Not a bad person, simply a poor decision which is also inconsiderate and can and most likely will hurt the other person as well.
Of course this does not make you a bad person! The choices you make don't define you as a whole.....
Anonymous
November 11th, 2015 3:59pm
I would first analyze why do you think you are being unfaithful. Then, try to look at the big picture and see if you would be better off without your spouse as commitment is a oath of a relationship.
I don't think people are bad just because they do bad things. But you have to consider the other person's feelongs in this situation. Try being honest with yourself and make a decision that will be benificial to you both.
You are not necessarily a bad person, however, it may have been handled in a better manner. I believe there may have been other factors that have lead to this situation that you may need to discuss with your partner.
Anonymous
November 11th, 2015 6:17pm
You are in a situation of confusion of choosing the person you love , you are not a bad person but if you don't make that choice sooner you will hurt too many people and you will definitely making yourself bad to you at least if not anyone and the people you are cheating with , leaving everyone with regrets.
Mistakes do not make you a bad person. Perhaps you should go back and examine your relationship to discover what led to the cheating.
Anonymous
November 11th, 2015 8:45pm
Depends on your partner in my opinion. If then push you to something like this it may not be your fault.
Anonymous
November 11th, 2015 10:12pm
You are not necessarily a bad person, but are in a bad situation. You need to decide which person is better for you, and try to stick with them!
As a person on the receiving end of a cheating person I would say yes, honesty is the best policy in regards to cheating, there is nothing more soul destroying than finding out that the person you love has been lieing, cheating and betraying. I would strongly urge you to sit your partner down and tell them the truth, or if you get caught out cheating then be 100% honest with your partner, it will soften the blow rather than more lies.
There are not good and bad people. There are just people trying to be happy. You must be chasing some happiness when you are cheating and that doesn't make you a bad person. But, you might consider the happiness of your SO and maybe you can seek happiness in a way that doesn't hurt them. IME, breaking up is not as difficult as keeping secrets. and less hurtful for everyone.
This does not make you a bad person, but you should tell your significant other. Nothing but the truth can help you feel even a little better.
no its just circumstances are bad. you rethink about the relation you are in. think what made you to do it and try to get over those things. if you are not happy in a relation then let that relation go free him/her and yourself from a binding string which is making you worst and making you feel bad.
Anonymous
November 12th, 2015 11:31am
looks like you may not be feeling good about cheating on your girlfriend. would like talk about how you are feeling ?
No it doesn't. First you need to define cheating. Then get to the bottom of why you did it. At that point you can reach out to the other party and discuss if you should stay together or go your separate ways.
Have you ever been cheated on or felt cheated in life? These are the feelings and the situation that is being created. Should you feel bad? If so, what are you going to do with that feeling?
Anonymous
November 13th, 2015 12:58am
No your not a bad person but what you are doing is bad and can really hurt someone and thats so not okay. Imagine how you would feel if you were the person getting cheated on.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2015 8:58am
If you need to ask if you're a bad person, I think you just answered the question. Clearly if you are cheating you have some internal relationship struggles going on, and cheating was your way of coping. I hope you can work it out in the end if you still love them. Goodluck
Cheating doesn't make you a bad person, just a person with poor decisions
Why are you cheating on them? Is it a physical reason or an emotional one?
Good/bad is relative, what you're doing depends on your reason.
If in doubt:
1. Do you love him/her?
2. Do you love who it is that you're cheating with?
3. Are you going to keep doing it?
4. Does him/her deserve to know about it?
5. What are you going to do when him/her finds out? How would you feel?
Bit of a questionnaire sorry. The point is, theres a reason why you chose to cheat. Find out what that reason is because its sabotaging your relationship. And then decide on what you want to do based on how you feel.
But its not really about being a bad person, thats only if you're trying to find out whether you deserve to be punished or want to keep on doing it.
I think the fact your asking if it makes you a bad person , tells me that cheating is making you feel bad about yourself. So no I don't think it makes you a bad perso, just human and flawed like the rest of us but I do believe that you cant ever truly be happy if you are doing something which you feel is wrong.
No you are not a bad person. Just tell your spouse the truth the world isba beautiful place so love.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2015 3:31pm
Some people hate cheaters, but i was one so i can say that you aren't a bad person. Just let go of one of them and don't lead the other on. You get hurt worse in the end
Why are you cheating? There is most likely an underlying need or issue that is going unresolved, and cheating and avoiding the issue is not going to ever make anything better. You aren't a bad person, but you aren't dealing with the problem and you are making a bad decision that is only going to make your life more complicated and stressful. You should focus on the reason why you are cheating or end the relationship.
Anonymous
November 13th, 2015 8:55pm
Well put the shoe on the other foot for a moment. If relationships, all relationships are built on trust, how do you think you would feel if someone was not honest with you about their feelings concerning your relationship? We all bring our personal experiences to life. I had a boyfriend cheat on me... we had dated for a year. I was pretty upset, not that he decided to go out with someone else behind my back but that he shared feelings with her that he did not share with me. Dividing your feelings between two people can't be easy nor can the feeling that you are living dishonestly. What would you like your girlfriend to know about your feelings towards her and how would you like her to respond?
Anonymous
November 13th, 2015 11:20pm
You are not a bad person unless you feel bad. You can work on changing your behavior if it is impacting your life negatively, destroying your relationships, & making you feel bad.
I wouldn't call you a to-the-core bad person. You are most definitely making a wrong choice and it should cease from happening. One of several things need to happen: you break up with your significant other because you do not have the want to be in the relationship with them anymore/are interested in someone else, or you can try to let the relationship continue AFTER letting them know what you have done (giving them the option of whether to try again or not). Cheating is NOT a good thing, but you do not have to let it define you. Just never make the mistake again.
I think that is somewhat a loaded question. I don't think you are a bad person by the choices you make.
You aren't a bad person, but what you are doing is bad. One, you could be hurting there feelings, etc
It sounds like you are unhappy in your current relationship. It might be best to talk to your partner about how you are feeling. It sounds like there has been a communication breakdown. It's best to be honest about things even though it could hurt your partner terribly . Your not a bad person but please remember honesty and communication is always the best policy.
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