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I'm cheating on my boyfriend or girlfriend. Am I a bad person?

136 Answers
Last Updated: 09/30/2019 at 7:38pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Jessica McDaniel, LPC, LCPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I have been practicing cognitive behavioral psychotherapy since 2007 with a diverse group of adult clients with various diagnoses, all races, and socioeconomic classes.

Top Rated Answers
kindredlamar
December 24th, 2015 3:06am
You're not a bad person. But you just need to sort out some of your priorities before you involve another person in your life that you may potentially hurt.
Miranda1999
December 24th, 2015 2:11pm
I wouldn't say you were a bad person, relationships are hard. But you should talk to your partner, so you don't hurt their feelings even more. However, you should straighten things out with your partner.
Anonymous
December 26th, 2015 12:00pm
people make mistakes everyday that they regret but that doesn't make them bad people, you have to tell them that you are cheating on them because mistakes are good opportunities to learn from them so that we don't do the same mistake again, so learn from your mistake and tell them that you are cheating on them
AlteredLight
December 29th, 2015 5:41pm
It depends on the situation, if he is a honest and loving person who hasnt cheated on you before then that may in others eyes make you a bad person. If you are giving him a taste of his own medicine then kudos to you but be ready to pay the price of such a risk. Cheating never ends well for either parties
Lalaxoxo
January 2nd, 2016 5:15pm
Just because you've made a mistake doesn't make you the bad guy here. However, although they may not know, this is something that will hurt them if they find out, and possibly cause emotional damage in the long run. I believe from this question, you recognize you are doing wrong and the best you could do is break this relationship with the third party, and possibly end it with your boyfriend/girlfriend if you're not happy. Because if you was happy with them, you wouldn't feel the need to cheat on them.
heyyitsmadeline
January 3rd, 2016 5:27pm
No... but if you want it over let it be over... if you wanna be with someone else, do so.
Anonymous
April 4th, 2016 1:47pm
We can say you're not a happy person. The sense of guilt is telling you that you're a bad person, but there's always a reason why we're cheating: finding that reason will put you in peace with yourself and you will no longer need to cheat. You will be able to externalize your feelings and live a fulfilling relationship. If you want to talk more about it please contact a listener :) Good luck!
resourcefulLove83
June 28th, 2016 1:25am
There's no easy answer to this one. There are a lot of reasons people might cheat. Some people are in an abusive relationship and don't want to leave but need to find comfort elsewhere. Some people may be polyamorous, but afraid to tell their partner, despite the fact that they have an otherwise healthy relationship. It may be that it's time for this relationship to dissolve, and that's okay. Whatever is going to happen, I suggest you have an honest talk with your significant other, and anyone else involved in this relationship.
HopieRemi
July 5th, 2016 7:35am
You're not a bad person. You made a mistake. Making a mistake doesn't make someone a bad person. While it wouldn't be seen as the best thing to do, you're still not a bad person.
Anonymous
July 11th, 2016 6:38am
You must be going through something . you aren't necessarily a bad person , just need some guidance. I'm sure there is a reason to your actions too . and with help we can help out.
Candid0211
July 25th, 2016 1:42am
In every likelihood if you are asking this question then you are not ok with the fact that you are cheating on them. You have to be free of feeling of guilt and for that take actions in that direction.
Anonymous
January 16th, 2017 6:51am
You sound like you might be confused or conflicted. Cheating is, I'm afraid, bad. But that doesn't mean you're a bad person. Just because you have or are making a bad choice doesn't mean you're a bad person. Think about what's driving you to cheat. There might be a deeper issue to think through.
avanef
March 13th, 2017 9:32pm
You're not a bad person per-say, but your actions are not acceptable. If you're cheating on your partner, you do not deserve to be with them, because you're suppose to be loyal and honest. Just talk to them instead of sneaking behind them.
recoveringlistener
November 7th, 2017 1:08am
I would avoid labelling your entire being as good or bad. Not one action can change your entire morality, however honesty and trust is very important in a relationship. There are healthy ways to be polyamorous, however if this is cheating, you may need to be more honest with your partner.
SupportiveSockMonkey
April 17th, 2018 7:17pm
It doesn't necessarily make you a bad person but it's not a considerate thing to do. The best option is to tell them or break off the relationship.
freefromself
July 15th, 2018 2:39pm
poor choices forsure.