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I'm cheating on my husband or wife. Am I a bad person?

122 Answers
Last Updated: 12/07/2020 at 9:24am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Polly Letsch, LCSW

Clinical Social Work/Therapist

I provide non-judgmental, person-centered, objective therapeutic treatment for individuals of all ages to improve social, emotional, mental and other areas of functioning.

Top Rated Answers
russianroulette
November 11th, 2015 6:22pm
No you are not a bad person, just a bad mistake.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Creativehelper15
November 11th, 2015 5:11pm
You're cheating? You should confess to him/her. You and your husband/wife should seek professional marriage counseling.
Anonymous
November 11th, 2015 1:29am
No, you are not a bad person, but you are making bad choices for your relationship, home, and family.
foreverHERE13
November 8th, 2015 7:01am
Sorta, but not really. Don't continue this.........................................................
Greatlistener87
November 8th, 2015 4:11am
It's betraying the trust of your spouse to be cheating on them. Imagine how they would feel if they were to find out that you are cheating. Always put yourself in their shoes, what if they were cheating with someone on you.
peacefulBlossom75
November 28th, 2015 2:38am
No you aren't a bad person. How has your relationship with your significant other been up until this point?
goldenflower96
November 14th, 2015 12:19pm
Its wrong to be unfaithful to your spouse, think about how you would you feel if you were cheated on
amazingArrow48
November 14th, 2015 1:08pm
You are not a bad person. You are making a wrong choice which will hurt your family eventually. Rather than cheat, try new things in bed or therapy
sunshineTouch69
November 14th, 2015 3:44pm
Cheating doesn't mean you are a bad person. I am not saying that it is a good thing to do though. It's fair to say that something isn't right with the current relationship so instead of cheating, openly talk to your partner and try to resolve any issues that may be present. If that cannot be done it may be best to end the relationship amicably.
Anonymous
November 14th, 2015 4:33pm
Cheating does not make you a bad person. Cheating make you a cheater. Think about it. You married your husband and/or wife with the intent to be with your spouse for the rest of your life. Your vows says it all. Running away from your problems by cheating won't benefit you or your spouse in any way. Sitting down with your spouse and have a heart to heart conversation on what is bothering you about and in your relationship might solve many problems. Always remember that before you cheat on your partner try to come to a solution for a better relationship. Communication is key. If that fails maybe you can go to the next step.
SydneyLouise
November 14th, 2015 6:21pm
I don't personally believe that something that someone does defines them as a person. So, something that you do maybe bad, but it does not mean that you are a bad person.
endearingSun27
November 14th, 2015 10:20pm
In my opinion, cheating is a sign that something is missing in the relationship. It is a sign something is amiss. It could also signify something is missing that has nothing to do with a spouse. It is a solution that usually does not solve the whatever is missing and oftentimes results in unwanted consequences. It is not a definition of a bad person, although it is a signal of being confused about what's needed to bring contentment or maintaing the health of the marriage.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2015 5:53am
Cheating on your spouse does not automatically bad you a bad person, but there is a lot to consider and you should take the responsibility if you're hurting other people (spourse, children, family, friends, etc.)
calmCupcake11
November 18th, 2015 12:36am
What we do is not who we are; it is an action that is part of our path, a decision that makes sense at the time for whatever reason. Our frame of mind influences how we act or react, so sometimes looking at the frame of mind that influenced a decision we regret for example can help in adjusting the behavior if that is what we want to do. So every experience is useful, "good" or "bad". It's what we do with what we learn from that experience that determines our future and how we choose to influence it and therefore how we feel about ourselves. I believe there is no good or bad, just useful information that gives us the power to choose differently or not next time.
Anamika88
November 18th, 2015 5:47pm
If you have a trusting spouse back home, you're certainly not a very reliable partner. Nor very bright.
Anonymous
November 18th, 2015 10:44pm
No one can pass judgment, but marriage is based on trust. Maybe you should reevaluate your marriage.
Swifting
November 19th, 2015 8:30am
There is more to a person than just being good or bad. Cheating, while certainly not a good thing in a relationship, does not make you a bad person. Cheating means you're making and have made mistakes and choosing to reconcile those mistakes does not make them go away; but, could help you feel less bad about the decisions.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2015 3:39pm
The anwser to this question cant be anwserd by any one else this is on your personl belifes and if you belie it is immoral
krazeniks
November 21st, 2015 11:45am
Yes,literally but practically no until your husband finds out. It will also depend on the situation you are in.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2015 7:12pm
No, its just not a good thing to do, what if your significant other was cheeting on you, how would you feel?
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2015 11:52am
No, you are not a bad person. You just need to think about what the husband/wife is feeling. It's important to like at both sides of the issue.
geejay
November 22nd, 2015 11:53pm
Your individual actions do not define who you are. Cheating is a very serious thing that comes with severe negative consequences. Though it may not impact you, it can strong impact your husband's/wife's psychological self, giving them very bad trust issues.
blackZebra81
November 8th, 2015 3:51am
While the act of cheating is bad that does not mean you are bad. It may help you to talk with your wife about this because most likely she will find out and communication will resolve any issues you may have in your marriage. As long as the communication is done in a nonjudgmental, nonconfrontational and respectful manner, things should be able to improve so long as both of you are willing to own up to any mistakes you have made and take ownership of what needs to occur to help improve your marriage. Too many people believe that they need to drop their marriage because they (or their partner) has cheated but in reality things can be improved with the right help. Hope all improves for you!!
Anonymous
November 26th, 2015 7:18am
No but if truly unhappy, it's time to think about what you want. To stay and work on things with your husband or wife? Or to leave the marriage and be single to freely be with other people
Anonymous
November 27th, 2015 5:00am
compassionateWhisper50
November 27th, 2015 8:33am
Hello; I just want to make sure I understand; you are cheating on your husband or wife and you are wondering if this makes you a bad person?
Anonymous
December 15th, 2015 5:56pm
I don't think you're a bad person. But you will hurt them if they ever find out. And before you get badly hurt from it i think you should figure out what you want to do, and who you want to be with before things get really bad.
Anonymous
March 29th, 2016 6:46pm
It doesnt make you a bad person. It just means there are some serious issues in your relationship that need to be worked on.
gaurdianangel36
November 7th, 2015 8:03am
I do not think that makes you a bad person. I would suggest exploring the reasons behind why you feel you need to cheat. Decide if that is fixable, and if so try to rekindle your marriage. If not then you need to consider the consequences to your actions, what that will do to them if they find out versus you telling them. If the relationship is over then deal with that instead of keeping them and putting them and yourself through this.
Everlastingsun
November 7th, 2015 3:57am
I do not necessarily believe you are a bad person! That is something I would personally never chose to do with my current boyfriend, but that does not mean I will judge you because of it, if you would like to talk about it? I have been cheated on, and I have been the cheater, so I know how it feels both ways! If you'd like to talk to me more about this type of situation we could get more indepth, and talk it through more :)