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Is it bad that I don't want to talk to a parent about my problems but I feel more comfortable talking to someone else?

19 Answers
Last Updated: 12/29/2020 at 6:57am
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Top Rated Answers
MoonlitHaze
September 13th, 2016 8:55pm
Not at all, in fact this is a very common situation between parent and child. It feels easier to talk to others because they don't know you as well, which sounds backwards, but think of it this way. You tell someone you don't know very well because it doesn't matter as much what they think of it. Parents on the other hand are very personal. They basically have a role in everyday life, and once you become a teenager we all get this urge to try to figure out everything on our own. Reaching out to parents gets harder and harder because sometimes parents become more intimidating. Besides, we're used to going to our parents for bumps and scrapes, but not as much our problems... There's also the idea that instead of getting a loving hug your parent may sit and lecture you. Parents are authority figures. Who would you feel more comfortable with? Explaining a problem to another coworker or to the boss? It's totally normal that you feel this way, but also, it is a feeling, which means it's still totally fine to go to your parents about problems! In fact its really healthy in most cases and some parents can be pretty supportive.
Anonymous
September 13th, 2016 12:56am
No, sometimes parents can be too overbearing, or not truly understand what you're going through. Talking to someone else can give you an unbiased opinion to help you sort through the way you're feeling.
NormalNobody
September 15th, 2016 1:09pm
I don't think that's bad at all. It's kind of normal. Parents can't see past being your parent. Sometimes they give you advice that they feel is correct in raising you, but may not be the advice they would give a friend. Sometimes it can cause excess worry, or, being a parent, cause a reaction that isn't related to the problem, or make the problem worse. The "right thing" and the "best thing" aren't always the same. Plus, they are your parents. I think most of us know (at least as we get older) the gist of what they are going to say. They raise us with their morals and attitudes. We see them every day. Going outside the box and getting different opinions and points of views is refreshing, and we can often come up with (sometimes better) solutions than just our parents can provide us.
allnaturalUnicorns70
April 24th, 2018 2:49pm
Sometimes those closest to us are "too close" to discuss personal stuff. That's exactly what the strangers here on 7 cups are for!!
Anonymous
February 18th, 2019 7:58am
It's not necessarily bad but something you should definitely analyze. How is your relationship with your parents? what are the circumstances? Some cases are totally acceptable to see why you don't feel comfortable while others it might be a self/personality thing. I am not comfortable talking to my parents because I feel like they will judge me because I see how they judge my siblings behind their backs to me. that makes is difficult for me. I am slowly starting to be more open and its a nice feeling because I always wanted to be close to them. But a few years ago it was ok that I ant comfortable and it still would be ok now. I just choose not to let my thoughts get to me because I want a different outcome. So I would say analyze yourself, your wants and the situation and only you can answer your question.
Robunzel
September 13th, 2016 7:45pm
Nono, I don't think it's bad at all! Plenty of people prefer to confide in others. In a lot of situations, confiding in another can provide an unbiased opinion. Talking about problems in a comfortable setting is what is most important. :)
Anonymous
September 16th, 2016 10:00pm
No, definitely not. A common misconception that everyone makes is that they have an obligation to tell their parents everything, and that if they're not comfortable with that, it shows that there isn't any trust or love between them. This is far from the truth. In actual fact, it's perfectly normal not to talk to your parents about your problem. People generally find it a lot easier to talk to strangers or friends for many reasons. One of these could be that the issue is something which could be seen as "awkward" - maybe it's sexual or intimate or otherwise just plain weird to talk to an adult about. Other times, it's something that could get you in trouble. Usually though, it's something you just don't want them to worry about. Your parents usually have a strong attachment to you, and it feels subconsciously unfair to lay something on them. Your friends, however, have a more "chosen" relationship. It's quite strange and hard to understand. Your parents will prioritise you and, in some situations, this will make their opinion biased. I understand a lot of people can't tell their parents for other reasons. I'm not saying every parent cares, sadly that isn't the truth. Sometimes, you can't talk to your parents because you don't trust them or you're not comfortable and close enough to tell them. This is normal too.
Anonymous
August 7th, 2017 11:32am
This is not bad; it is a completely normal behavior that happens to everyone. When we avoid sharing our problems to someone, it might have been because they have done or reacted unpleasantly towards us when we talked to them about our issue. It is therefore only normal to want to talk to someone else instead of them the next time around. However, please note that being able to communicate openly and directly, and having the trust to do so, are very important elements to rebuilding your trust with your parent again.
Anonymous
September 25th, 2016 10:16pm
It's not bad! I felt the same way, and so do many other people. Talking to someone else can still be just as helpful, if not more helpful.
SpringfieldButterfly
October 2nd, 2017 4:22am
No, often times were more comfortable talking to different people about different topics. Some topics you may feel more comfortable talking with your parents about, others you may feel talking to your best friend about, and other topics you may want to talk to a total stranger about. Reach out to whomever you feel comfortable talking to about that particular topic and get the help and support you need.
Banner85
February 19th, 2018 7:10pm
No, sometimes it's hard to open up to our parents. If you have someone you can talk to, lean on them.
Anonymous
December 27th, 2016 5:51am
In an ideal world we would be able to talk to our parents easily, but in the real world that doesn't always happen, so it is good that you have found someone that you feel comfortable talking to. If however you and your parents could find a way of communicating better like talking to a counselor, that would be a very positive thing to do for for both you and your parents and would really strengthen your relationship.
Rhea
July 31st, 2017 9:47am
It's not bad at all. Parents can sometimes not be really open or supportive to your problems. It really depends on situations and person to person. I don't know how supportive your parents are but if you don't know that either, you should try and if it doesn't work out, it is definitely okay to confide in someone else.
SupportiveSockMonkey
April 24th, 2018 6:10pm
That is completely normal, it all depends on who you feel more comfortable discussing your problems too. I always felt more comfortable talking to my friends because they understood more and my parents were over protective. It just matters that it works for you.
ApplePiney
August 1st, 2017 3:39am
I don't think it's bad at all! It can be really intimidating and scary talking to a parent about something, especially if it's about our own problems! It's a great thing to hear that you're comfortable telling someone else though! Whether that person is a close friend or a trusted adult, it can be a very freeing and uplifting experience talking to someone. When the time comes, you might tell your parents, but the time might not come and that's okay too! So long as you are safe and alright. I wish you the best!
Anonymous
February 11th, 2019 1:46am
No, Not at all! It seems, for me at least, that it is easier to talk to my friends about my problems than it is my parents. I don't really know why, but you shouldn't feel ashamed. If you only feel comfortable talking about your problems with your friends, then talk to your friends. It is better to tell someone about your problems than to keep them bottled up inside, trust me. I had this one problem that had been bothering me for so long. I just felt like I could trust no one. Finally, I told my best friend. I was so nervous that she would judge me and not want to be my friend anymore, but her reaction was the opposite. Not only was she sweet and caring, but she helped me through it. I could never thank her enough. My problems were starting to make me depressed. If you only want to talk to certain, trustworthy friends, then go ahead. Don't feel bad about it.
Anonymous
July 29th, 2019 1:19am
That's not a bad thing at all. Many teens find it more difficult to talk to their parents than to talk to their peers. It's perfectly normal, and the fact that you're comfortable talking to anyone about your problems is a great first step! I'd recommend you try to find an adult in your life that you trust to talk to when you're struggling, even if it's not a parent or guardian. Communicating with your friends is great, and I definitely encourage it, but it's always good to have an adult in your corner as well, since it can be hard on your peers if they're you only support system.
Anonymous
July 13th, 2020 7:19pm
Of course it is. Me and mu mother were close when I was a small kid, but as I grew up, I started to not talking about my problems. Talking about your problems and not leaving them inside you is an amazing thing, and it doesn't really matter if you talk about them with your parents or trusted friends. However, while you are growing up, you will feel a need to öpen up to your parents, too. But still, it's valid and talking to your parents is a good option when the topic is safe for you. As long as you feel safe, comfortable and loved, it doesn't really matter if you open up to your friends or family.
calmwaves8
December 29th, 2020 6:57am
I don't think it is necessarily bad that you don't want to talk to a parent about your problem if you feel more comfortable talking to someone else. There is a gap between parents and a child. More explicitly, a generation. You may feel that your parents don't understand your situation that you are in. Maybe you think your parents are judgmental and are not understanding about your problems. Due to that, it is hard to make a connection on top of the age gap. You most likely talk to someone else because you believe the person has experience a similar problem or is more approachable and a better listener. In short, I think it is okay to not to talk about your parents about your problem as long as you have someone to talk to. Pent up frustration about problem is not good. It is better to have a outlet to get rid of those problems.