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Is it my fault my family argue?

25 Answers
Last Updated: 04/06/2020 at 5:38pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Catherine Demirdogucu, Level 4 Diploma with Merit. CBT and Mindfulness Practitioner.


It takes courage and strength to seek help. My desire is to help my clients express themselves and grow in confidence, my support is offered in a nonjudgmental manner.

Top Rated Answers
February 25th, 2015 5:28am
You cannot control how other people act or feel, you only have control of your emotions and decisions. If family decides to argue or get upset, it's not required that you engage and continue the argument. Only you are responsible for your own emotions and not others. If this causes too much emotional turmoil for yourself attempt to remove yourself from the situation as to help remove further instigation.
April 8th, 2015 12:00pm
No, it's not your fault. I do not know much about your current situation but you should never blame yourself, even if you are the subject of your family's arguments sometimes. Don't feel bad about it, the fact that you worry about it being your fault shows that you never wanted it to happen. Stay strong!!
February 23rd, 2015 4:02am
Of course not! There can be a lot of things causing tension in your family right now, like finances or work. However, don't blame yourself! Try talking to someone in your family about this, so they can be aware of these thoughts and make sure to avoid making you feel this way. If you need support, make sure to connect with a listener!
April 6th, 2015 1:49pm
It is highly unlikely that it is your fault your family argue. All families go through periods where arguing is more common, but that doesn't mean that it is any one person's fault.
April 8th, 2015 1:09am
No it's not. All family has their complications and difficulties, but at the end, they will figure things out. But nothing you did was wrong.
April 16th, 2015 8:30pm
Certainly, no. Don't blame yourself... Every family have argues sometimes thats not your falut love
April 24th, 2015 5:25pm
No, I don't believe it is. You're never the problem, even when you really think you are. That's in my opinion anyway :)
April 25th, 2015 1:16am
No. No, no no no no. When I was younger, my parents constantly argued (they're no longer together, thank God), and one time my father looked at me square in the eye and said, "If you kids behaved a bit better, maybe we wouldn't argue so much." And that hit me like a ton of bricks. And it hurt. It took me forever to realize my parents arguing was their fault, and even if I were a perfect child, that wouldn't change. It's not your fault your family argues, and I hope you never put that blame on yourself or have it placed upon you by someone else.
May 14th, 2015 8:42pm
Not at all! Family is going to argue regardless. Most people do not even need a reason to, they just do it anyway.
May 22nd, 2015 5:47pm
It's never your fault, sometimes your parents argue over tiny things, and they get over it, just like school once in a while you'll get in a argument and forget it, it's never your fault, relationships are never perfect, which is impossible.
May 24th, 2015 8:56am
no.. family have different people with different thinking.. and with peoples have different thinking staying together will agreue for sure... it is completely not your fault
June 17th, 2015 4:54am
No certainly not, sometimes families argue to express themselves.Can you tell me a little more about what is happening?
July 28th, 2015 10:20am
No, whatever the people around you decide to do, it is not your fault. We all deal with situations differently, and the best way is to always openly communicate with everyone involved. Arguing is a way of confronting people you feel have wronged you or are against you, and sometimes families can pull other members into arguments to back up their points. However, you must never feel like you are the reason for other people's unhappiness. They can choose to openly communicate with everyone to create a safe and helpful environment.
August 18th, 2015 2:33pm
Sometimes people argue and take things out on others who have nothing to do with the situation. Why do you think you are the reason for your family arguing?
August 24th, 2015 6:20pm
Not at all. No matter what your family say, the arguments that they have are nothing to do with you. Honestly a lot of family arguments are caused by stress, pressure, inner conflicts and disagreements between family members.
September 14th, 2015 6:08am
I'm afraid I cannot answer without any more context. Kindly walk me through it and we can resolve your issue?
September 15th, 2015 6:17pm
*I wouldn't call it a fault. However, hypothetically speaking, if you are living with family, are consciously making bad choices in life and going down a dangerous path, and your family argues about what to do to fix the situation, it's not your fault, but it does concern you, and when you're mentally there, hopefully you can help them reach a solution. However in a general sense, you can't control people's actions. Families argue, it's a part of life. It's not any one person's fault for it.
January 4th, 2016 8:27am
No. One reason for arguments in your family can be influenced by close quarters! Living with the same people all the time can be exhausting and taxing on one's emotional capacity!
May 23rd, 2016 9:27am
No, There could be other aspects in the family that cause arguments, what would make you feel this way?
September 6th, 2016 1:01pm
No it isn't your fault sometimes thing are beyond our control and don't ever think that I'm sure both of them love you very much they just need to work out their problems first
October 10th, 2016 12:44pm
Absolutely not. They argue because of problems between themselves and with themselves. Try not to let their issues flow onto you.
October 25th, 2016 7:26pm
No. You don't have to blame yourself about your family's argument. There might be a problem that needed to be fixed as soon as possible.
March 21st, 2017 5:55pm
Never blame yourself for your family arguing. You don't control their emotions and how they are feeling, you can only control your own. If your family members choose to feel a certain way about something it is their decision and you shouldn't feel as if it is your fault
July 24th, 2018 9:13pm
That is sad you feel this way. Ask your family why are they arguing as it makes you sad, help them..
April 6th, 2020 5:38pm
hello I don't think you should blame yourself for how other people behave if you need to talk I am here to listen I cannot advise but I can help you find the right path to feeling better about this . its awful to feel upset about family conflicts but I am sure there is a way to sort this out do not get too upset or blame yourself some things are out of our control try to distance yourself a little from the arguments maybe when things get too much you can always chat and get your feelings out on 7 cups