Is it normal for parents to pick a favorite child among their children?

14 Answers
Last Updated: 01/30/2018 at 10:49pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Meredith Seltzer, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

The therapeutic relationship can assist you in accomplishing your goals and clarifying your wants and needs. As a skilled counselor and therapist I will help you along the way

Top Rated Answers
nancyb03
May 14th, 2015 4:05pm
while i'm sure there there are some parents out there who feel they have a favorite, i think it's recognizing traits or personality differences in their children. though they're not "little adults" kids have their own thoughts and opinions. i see it with mine, and it's more obvious with my nieces. it's not about choosing a favorite, it's more about reacting and interacting differently with each child, as each one is going to require a different part of their parent.
DaveC2016
June 4th, 2015 12:43am
While, it is not recommended, it does happen. Both my parents have their favorite children, sadly, I ain't one, but I don't let it get to me. The reason I don't let it get to me is because I like the man in mirror and I am my own favorite.
AshleyLawrence
February 18th, 2015 12:09am
It is unfortunate, but not uncommon. Most of the time parents have noticed a major positive and will dwell on it or they notice a major negative and will try to fix it. You can only do so many things at once, so it may appear as favoritism. If you feel ignored by your parents, most likely they believe that you are smarter and self-efficient to the point where you don't need them as much. They pay less attention b/c they put attention where it is needed and there is only so much to go around. Perhaps ask one of your parents to spend some time doing something you know that you excel at. That way your strengths are also noticed.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2015 12:32am
I don't think it's a great thing, showing favor over one child hurts the other kids. But a parent has done it probably. Is it normal, not sure. But, do people do it, yes unfortunately
Emiliesks16
November 3rd, 2015 3:53pm
Sometimes parents will say or think they have a favorite child of theirs, but they obviously love all of their children equally
Anonymous
December 1st, 2015 11:40pm
It's normal in some cases, but you are still loved dearly. Sometimes I believe parents need one specific child to focus on in a given time.
Anonymous
January 4th, 2016 5:43am
It is! There may be stronger bonds/ closer ties between a parent and a child due to shared interests or temperaments. There may have been unique circumstances surrounding that child's birth (think miracle baby!) that forge an matchless bond between parent and child. That doesn't necessary mean that they love this particular child more than the others!
Anonymous
January 4th, 2016 12:33pm
It is never okay for a parent to have a favourite child ever!! That can lead to all different issues in the family
couragetogo
March 29th, 2016 3:44pm
Its a Taboo -Topic. No one admits it and no one talks about it. But it does happen - for various reasons. It's rather uncommon, because I think it's true when parents clarify that they love each of their children in a diffrent - yet all equal. If they favor one child I think of two reasons: If one child is easier to talk to (usually thats the one being compromised in favor of the more "problematic" one or if one is the shining star of the family. But with extra attention often comes extra pressure.
Anonymous
September 5th, 2016 8:45pm
No, not is it wrong to pick a favorite child among your children it is also horrible for your children self esteem. and your children might end up hating each other
RoxyBoo
September 20th, 2016 5:25am
Yes it is. Personally I think any parent who says they don't have a favorite is lying. Though if it is right. That's a entirely different question which is a "no" more specifically when it's noticeable. If you can't tell then no one will know. If it is then there is a problem
Monday100
February 27th, 2017 9:37am
As an adult it is important to properly understand what this question means. The question doesn’t use the word ‘Love’ but instead uses the word ‘favourite’ At various times in a life a parent may favour a child over another for example on a particular child’s birthday or when a child has done something that warrants particular praise or thanks. This is not to say that the parent loves that child any more than the others and this kind of thing normally wouldn’t last particularly long. It should be balanced against the needs of the other children.
Anonymous
November 27th, 2017 8:19am
By right there should be no favoritism among family. This is because in the world people are already unfair and unkind to other people. The only solace your child have is coming back home to family. And if there is favoritism there too how is your child gonna handle it. Besides all of them are your children, they might not be the same but are unique in their own ways.
Anonymous
January 30th, 2018 10:49pm
Yes. But it doesn't mean they love the others less! Despite being parents, they are individuals as well. They will have specific affinities with some of their children, sometimes because they are alike, sometimes because they are opposite, and sometimes because they remind them of someone they cherish! This is sometimes subject to grief in families, as one child is considered to be favored, and subsequently, the others feel abandoned.