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Is it normal to not trust that you can open up to your family?

22 Answers
Last Updated: 10/26/2020 at 9:48pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Tanyia Hughes, Adv Dip Psy


I have been through a lot in life too, which helps me to be able to empathize with situations, thoughts and feelings that we have. Sometimes, it's not easy just being human.

Top Rated Answers
August 25th, 2015 8:45pm
I think it can be normal to not trust to open up to your family if they use your information against you instead of helping you.
April 10th, 2015 1:45pm
It's normal when your familial environment isn't a safe one. In a perfect world, our families are supposed to be our first example of social nourishment, but this is not always the case. It is important that we continue to surround ourselves with positive, loving people, even if they aren't related to you.
May 24th, 2015 7:01pm
It's perfectly normal to not trust that you can open up to your family! There are a few reasons this could happen. One is that you could just not trust your family members to keep a secret, maybe because of some experience you've had in the past with them not fulfilling their duties to your privacy. Another could be that you want your family to see you as normal and therefore think that it would be bad to open up to them in fear of being perceived as weird and shunned by your family. A third reason might be that you are put under high expectations, and you think that changing your family's view of your personality could shatter those expectations and put you in a state of awkwardness so your family just thinks that you are strange. But in the end, you can definitely share your secrets with your family if you feel comfortable doing so. If you think they're untrustworthy, you could either confront them about it or just open up to someone else. You know the people in whom you can confide.
October 26th, 2020 9:48pm
It is normal to not trust that you can open up to your family, or a particular family member, especially if your family have proven they cannot, or should not, be trusted with your private matters. Sometimes it can be difficult to open up to your family, even when this is not the case. Just remember this: you are never obliged to open up to a family member if you don't feel you can trust them. Trust is earned! If you feel you can trust a teacher, a friend, or someone you look up to, then you could talk to them instead. Never let anyone pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable doing.
January 13th, 2015 3:29pm
Yes. Every person is different and the way they respond is diffrent. It can be very difficult to trust someone that has provided information to others that you trusted them with. It can also be hard to trust someone who wasn't around you during times of need.
June 4th, 2015 7:47pm
Yes,I think its normal because some things are ment to be kept secret or hard to tell to parents as their reaction can be opposite or one can feel embarassed.
August 28th, 2015 1:01pm
This is a normal response, provided that your family environment is not healthy. The family is supposed to be the place where we can open up with one another, but sometimes that doesn't work in toxic relationships.
December 8th, 2015 3:49am
I think in the fairytale version of "normal" family's that it would be weird. But the truth is that Normal is actually dysfunctional and weird. Like my cousin was cooking once and his sister had chicken pox and she came down the stairs in her birthday suit scratching everywhere. I think that's weird, but that was normal for them. I think it's weird that some parents, children, and other family members kiss on the lips, but for some that's normal and spreading Herpes Labialis is no big deal to them. In my family, it was normal not to trust our father or mother or even our siblings. Our father was abusive and over reacted, our mother pretended that the conversations weren't happening, and us kids used info against one another to win over our fathers love. So really, you need to ask what defines "normal" for you or what you think "normal" should be. Because it's defined by what you go through, what is everyday for you or what you wish it was. Not everybody's version of "Normal" conforms to society.
February 8th, 2015 4:11pm
I personally think it is. Often circumstances make our family members seem more closed than they actually are. Sometimes there are issues they simply won't be able to understand on their own, your feelings during illness or your different point of view. But telling them will often erase a gap you feel, even if they don't agree with you completely they will know what you think/feel and you will know their stance.
Anonymous - Expert in Family Stress
July 27th, 2015 2:12am
Absolutely, you may feel that they will not have a predictable or positive response and feel nervous about the idea of bearing all. Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger rather than speak to those who you are so close with.
May 1st, 2015 2:10am
No. I tell my family everything. They are supposed to be your rock. I guess not everyone has that closeness that I do, but family-like your mom or dad or siblings should never betray tht trust.
June 18th, 2015 3:27am
Depending on family dynamics, yes it can be normal. Sometimes a family can be introverted and do things separately or on their own, and this can sometimes make it such that opening up doesn't feel right. Bottom line, it is normal.
July 14th, 2015 4:34am
It is, every family is different... It's okay to keep somethings to yourself that you don't feel comfirtable sharing but it is important to openly have conversations with them and know that you can talk to them if the time ever comes
December 21st, 2015 11:54pm
i believe so yes. its hard to talk about private things about yourself to people whom you love very much, and when you care about what they think of you it can be really hard.
March 14th, 2016 6:51am
It is normal if you had a bad experience in the past regarding this. But they are your family and they will support and be there for you the way they know how to. Don't be too hard on them.
March 15th, 2016 2:07am
This happens with lots of people. Consider why you are not able to open up to your family. Try writing down your problems and if comfortable enough, give them to a family member.
June 14th, 2016 12:28pm
Well, if you can't open up to your family. You must ask yourself why? If the reason doesn't sound normal to you. You must think about ways to change that.
October 4th, 2016 6:47pm
It depends on your situation. A lot of people don't trust their families because of past experiences However, you really should try your best to have good communication with your family. It would help you feel much more secure about things than you can imagine. Try telling them a bit if what you did throughout the day every single day to build and work on the bond.
October 10th, 2016 10:43am
It's easier to open up to your family but be prepared for a very long talk with your family and it will be an earful but you'll be sure that they will try to understand in some way or another whatever it is you open up to them.
October 25th, 2016 4:04pm
Yes sometimes this is the case. It is normal not to be confortable to open up to people if you doubt their reaction, even if they are your family.
August 22nd, 2017 10:39pm
It's absolutely normal. Sometimes we feel as through those closest to us judge us the most. But, you've got to remember that your family only really wants the best for you
June 2nd, 2020 2:16pm
I don't know if it is normal but it is possible you can't trust that you can open up to family. We always associate family with love and care. Especially if we grew up hearing "family is here no matter what", "family always come first". But a family is filled with people and people, even family, can be toxic to one another. They can use your love for them as sentimental leverage. It is normal to want to protect ourselves from toxic people. People that will use what we tell them in total discretion with all our trust to hurt us. Unfortunately, it happens sometimes that the toxic people in your life are members of your family. Then, it is normal to not trust that you cannot open up to them.