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Is it wrong/normal to feel disconnected from your parents/other immediate family members with whom you've have tentative relationships with?

15 Answers
Last Updated: 08/16/2021 at 7:12pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Jill Kapil, PsyD

Psychologist

I have over 9 years of clinical experience, specialize in anxiety, and am passionate about my work. My approach is collaborative, empathic, supportive, and goal-oriented.

Top Rated Answers
Hailey1994
February 25th, 2015 5:16pm
Its normal to feel disconnected from family members that you dont have a strong relationship with. Sometimes freinds can feel more like family then blood relatives can. Some people are closer to others and sometimes friends can be more supportive then family.
AtBothEnds
April 6th, 2015 4:48am
Relationships that do not involve abuse or overt neglect of responsibilities cannot be wrong or abnormal. Our traditional view of family involved a singular level of closeness between parents and children. After all, most children spend their formative years interacting and getting information about the world from their parents. The expectation may not be entirely random, but it does not apply in the particular. Relationships change, and so do we as we grow up and begin to see our parents as human beings, with their natural biases and deffects, while and the same time we establish more independent personalities. Many times, over certain developmental stages and sometimes frequently, these factors drive us away from our own parents. It is not wrong. It is sometimes difficult to accept and to manage with civility. However, it is not wrong and also not abnormal.
HeyoSarah
June 4th, 2015 11:39pm
I know this question well. In often asking myself, "Is it normal to hate my mother?", I've given this much thought. It isn't wrong to have an opinion, I know that. If you don't get along with someone all too well, it's perfectly normal to grow apart from them.
Foreverdreaming93
April 24th, 2015 3:56pm
I don't think so. At times I feel disconnected from my family, like they don't get me or we have all gone through different things in life and don't have that much in common. I believe it's okay, just like the fact that not everyone will like you and you wont always like everyone. just don't let that disconnected feeling keep you from loving and caring for your family.
Rhiannon89
December 28th, 2015 3:17am
It is not wrong to feel disconnected to family members where there have been tentative relationships involved. Blood does not excuse bad behavior and when those that are related to us hurt us, they should be dealt with in the same manner as anyone else. It should not be excused or tolerated just because of future obligations with family or a family member.
Greatlistener87
May 31st, 2016 4:08am
People do grow out of other people some times. Its whether you want it to happen or not. If you don't want to grow out of that person then grow into them by being more involved in their life, take notice and make the effort.
perfectluvv
April 17th, 2015 1:53am
Yes, because families may share home,food and/or blood but we have different mindset. We're all unique so its okay to be different even in your own family!
bestDreamer15
February 25th, 2015 7:26am
I believe that it is normal for family members to become disconnected. It's always important to make sure you maintain those relationships by keeping in touch and through the love you give towards your immediate members. Your emotions are just as important to other people as they are to yourself.
chloesings
June 13th, 2016 7:03pm
This is a common feeling a lot of people experience in their lives. We find that as we grow and mature, we sometimes lose focus and create tensions between our family members. What is important to remember is to keep communication going and learn from each other.
Anonymous
September 24th, 2018 12:41am
You are feeling disconnected for a reason. Whether is conscience or not, that feeling of disconnect is coming from somewhere. Your relatives are just as human as a friend or stranger. You don’t have a connection with everyone you encounter and that is okay. It may just feel wrong because your relatives, your family, are people you see on the regular, they may have raised you, seem to know you and/or you love dearly. You are not wrong for feeling the way you are feeling. You just have to identify where the disconnect comes from to truly determine your feelings.
NyxCain
November 30th, 2015 11:17pm
It's absolutely normal. We tend to feel disconnected to people we don't know who might have hurt us. This is nothing to feel ashamed of. If it bothers you, you could always reach out to them and try to reconnect with them. But remember, just because they are family, it doesn't mean you have to be close to them. Family can mean more about those who have been there for you and not who is blood related.
Pinkcarpet
December 5th, 2017 12:50pm
I think it's natural as we progress & grow in life to become distant from people we were once very close to.
Anonymous
August 3rd, 2021 9:31pm
All individuals are unique, each with their own mindsets, morals, and values developed over time. Throughout our childhood, we are taught and nourished by our parents, all the information we receive and the things we are taught come from them. However, as children grow older, they become more independent as they develop their own opinions and thoughts, feelings, and personalities, which can often conflict with their parents or relatives resulting in individuals growing apart - This is OK, this is normal! We are all trying to become our best selves and do what corresponds with OUR beliefs and values, so if other people do not concur and this potentially causes issues, it is up to us to place our differences aside and love and cherish the family that we are extremely lucky to have. But, just know, becoming your own person is more than ok, and feeling disconnected or separated from loved ones is a part of the process in which we will eventually thrive, and our associates will learn to understand our independent thoughts and beliefs as OUR own, not ones that are being enforced upon us. So NO, it is not wrong, nor abnormal, rather just a part of life experienced by many.
APaletteFullofColors
August 16th, 2021 7:12pm
I think by using the words normal or wrong implies that there is a proper or correct way of relating to your parents/family members. Family dynamics can vary greatly from household to household, and each person has their own unique experiences. Despite not knowing your full situation, I can say that I do relate to that feeling of disconnectedness from family. I think that there can be a tendency to think that because biological family is blood-related, that it is "thicker than water." However, I believe that you can feel more connected to others like your friends, a significant other, or even a mentor/guardian figure in your life.
Anonymous
March 30th, 2021 11:31pm
It is not wrong to feel this way as emotions are personal and should be validated. It's normal to have fluctuating feelings with family members, so I would not say this it is incorrect to feel this way. I would say the most important thing is to recognize why you are feeling this way. Based on your answer, ask yourself if you want to change the way that you are feeling. If yes, try to build stronger connection with your family by doing the activities that you like together. For example, maybe if you like monopoly, have a game night to feel more connected.