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I've tried to address things with my family but they still won't change. How do I just let things go?

23 Answers
Last Updated: 05/05/2020 at 11:56am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Moderated by

Johanna Liasides, MSc


I work with youth and young adults to help them improve depressive symptoms and self-esteem as well as effectively address family, relationship and peer conflicts.

Top Rated Answers
January 2nd, 2015 2:47am
You can't change your family, you can only change yourself and your reaction to their behaviors. Some people just aren't ready to change, or possibly incapable of it. You've aired your issues and they know how you feel. Time might help things to get better for you. Either way, make yourself a priority and don't let others derail you from making sensible decisions for yourself. Hope this helps!
September 20th, 2014 9:36am
You can only help people who want to be helped. Don't waste your energy, especially if you feel that they're refusing to change simply because you're asking them to. Leave them alone and they'll come around sooner or later. In the meantime, you'll feel less resentment.
October 30th, 2014 2:26am
It is common for this to happen with people and it can feel isolating, sometimes like your doing the wrong thing. I think it's important to do what you think is the right thing for you and trust that they will accept you in time. Perhaps a short time, perhaps a few years but ultimately families just want to see their children successful and happy. This simply means you are growing into your own person. There is a book on this by Robbin Skinner and John Clease - Families and how to survive them. It goes into this in detail and it's an easy but informative read. I hope that is of some help.
January 8th, 2019 1:51am
It takes great courage to try and fix things with your family. So good on you! However, If they don't see eye to eye with you, just accept that you cannot always convert people to your perspective. You aren't responsible for other people's behavior..I'd say refuse to burden yourself with the choices of others, because at the end of the day, you can only govern your own decisions. You can still have hope that someday they will come around, but in the end, the worst thing that can happen if they don't change is that their quality of life will be lessened. But this won't have to stop you from getting better for yourself.
April 28th, 2020 6:12pm
You should try to be appreciative of the experiences you have shared with them, both good and bad because of their worth as being memories and life lessons. This will help you move your focus away from the issues with them and on to the things you want to manifest in your life like your career path and your personal goals. This way you can remain centered, take good care of yourself, and make the life choices you need to make to build the life you want. Once you are in a better place with yourself, you can decide what kind of relationship you want with them based on a realistic view of what they can add to your life.
January 5th, 2015 7:30am
It is always easier to change yourself because you wish to change. It is very hard to change others because they have to want to change themselves. It is up to the individual to want to change. Just remain on your decision and stay strong.
June 22nd, 2015 12:42pm
It's not as simple as just letting things go, none of us here have walked in your shoes and none of us know your exact position.
January 12th, 2016 10:25am
You have to not care. Flip the switch. Otherwise it eats at you. My father and mother are so wrapped up in their pride and ego that tgey didn't take my offer for us all to sit down and lay all our feelings on the table. They feel justified in their actions or they fall back on "I'm only human." it's pathetic when your own parents won't admit to their faults... Such skills. Anyways, you have to not care. Because obviously they don't care how you feel. Th e y don't care enough to change.
July 4th, 2017 1:03pm
If you have no one to talk to, try writing it in a diary or try to stay occupied with something that you really enjoy. Writing down in a diary is like talking to someone and you can be as open as you want. Of course it might not be as good but at the least you don't bottle things up; it'll make you more stress. Being occupied with something makes you concentrate on a different matter and still keeps you brain going, It could range from just reading books or going out to exercise and do activities. This method might not work away but you should still try it out so instead of mourning or keep remembering those things. Once you feel better, try to come back and address those problems, you might have a different point of view of them by then.
December 5th, 2017 5:01am
We are only responsible for changing one person in this journey of life and that person is ourselves. The change you can make is the perspective you see things from and sometimes accepting that things are not going to change is all the change one may need.
October 6th, 2014 3:38pm
Think about what makes you happy. Forget negative thoughts and think possitive. Life is really beautiful, you should enjoy it at it's fullest. Because after every storm there is a rainbow.
October 17th, 2014 7:50pm
You need to see things from their side of view. Even if it is bad, think of what they are going through
October 25th, 2014 11:54pm
You can never change what someone thinks, and that's a fact that people have to accept. You just have to try to accept the fact that not everyone will have the same opinion as you and may oppose what choices you make, that's how life is. And the first step to letting things go is accepting that.
November 1st, 2014 5:07pm
then you need to understand that some people will never understand because of that will not understand. Knowing this will help you to let go
November 11th, 2014 1:56pm
Letting go can be difficult when others will not let it go themselves. It may be needed for the individual to move as individual growth is important in this case it seems.
November 12th, 2014 12:49am
As long as you're a nice person and you've gone about it in a good manner, in my opinion that's all that matters and they'll see how much of a nice person you are and what they're missing. Let them make the effort with you.
November 15th, 2014 1:47pm
First, I feel we need to come to the realization that certain things are out of control. After accepting this, I feel we can begin to let things go.
November 18th, 2014 1:49pm
Hey there! I'll try to give u my best Just give it another try... And try to understand that why are they not getting you? Sometimes by understanding the otherone will help you to get ur self understandable... Hope that will help Stay blessed! :)
May 22nd, 2015 8:23pm
I am sorry to say this. But you can try study overseas or move out of the house. So you wont have to deal with your family's problem and create a new life of your own.
February 2nd, 2016 2:10pm
Be patient. Everything happens for a reason. Don't take things too seriously, try understanding their side of story and If you still don't feel good about it, then let them be and try to comfort yourself by distracting your thoughts elsewhere :) Try to be happy
July 24th, 2017 9:45pm
Family drama. Boy is it a pain... Things can never be "Just let go" because they are your family and it hurts when they hurt you or vise versa. -Write a letter explaining how you feel -Sit them down and take the floor, and they will have time to respond when you are done. -Give them time to figure the situation out themselves, if they let it go, dont hold onto it.
June 4th, 2019 7:18pm
it is hard to let things go with families because yes sometimes they don't change not because they don't want to, they may feel the way they are handling situations is normal to them and may be different for you. if you do address issues with your family you may need to change your approach to them. it is hard to change someone. if your family wants to let you vent and they interrupt you then you don't have to chance to say everything you want to say. sometimes if you talk about your problems a little at a time they may not feel so overwhelmed with information then they can let go of less which let's you have more chances with what you have to say the next time you talk.
May 5th, 2020 11:56am
People don't change just because you asked them to. Change takes a lot of effort and time and in the first place, the other person need to understand that this is the best for them and the people around them. You should focus more on what is bothering you and how can you yourself solve the problem. Even if this is your family, they will not be able to help you all the time and that is ok and normal. Feel free to talk with anybody you think can help you in your situation and do not give up ever!