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My boyfriend or girlfriend is ashamed of me. What should I do?

117 Answers
Last Updated: 08/10/2021 at 2:24pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
Canada
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Maryna Svitasheva, PhD. RP

Licensed Professional Counselor

Psychotherapy I provide is based on a dialog and your active intention to look for a solution with the therapist's assistance

Top Rated Answers
Marzia
November 14th, 2015 11:20pm
If they're ashamed of you, then you shouldn't be dating! I know that this is hard to really think about and you most likely don't want to break up with them, but you deserve someone who wants to show you off nonstop, and is more proud of you than anything else in the world. You need to let someone treat you like you're the most important thing in the world (and of course, you treat them the same way! I'm not saying be with someone who adores you but don't adore them just the same!) But like I said, I know that it's hard, but you should not accept anything less than the best treatment - and this isn't it. Know your worth, and don't settle for someone who doesn't treat you right.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2015 4:07am
If they really love you, they wouldn't be ashamed of you. Try talking to them about it if you really like them. But if they like you too they shouldn't be ashamed of you.
AbbeyHelps
November 15th, 2015 6:32pm
If they are ashamed of you, you should sit down and have a talk. When you are being yourself and are truly your happiest, and your significant other finds that something to be ashamed of, that is not fair to you or them! Talk about what things make each of you upset, and in the end if you can not resolve the issue, maybe it is time to find someone who will accept you for who you are. You never want to change for anyone, no man or woman. Being imperfect you is really perfect.
dancingTurtle59
November 18th, 2015 3:35am
you should not be with a person that is ashamed of you they can not love you as much as they say if they are ashamed of you i would try to talk with them and see if that feeling could b improved
Helpfulcat
November 18th, 2015 8:52pm
Your loved one shouldn't be ashamed of you in any terms. If I were in your shoes, I would discuss this with my parthner. If there isn't a logic and good reason for the embaressment, I would have to do what's best for ME, and move on without him.
Anonymous
November 19th, 2015 11:19am
In relationships, the most important way to overcome conflict is to communicate. Communication is key.
anxiouscatgal
November 19th, 2015 6:45pm
why are they ashamed of you a) because you have done something morally wrong and hurt someone b) because of a charteristic about yourself you cant change that harms no one if the anwsure if a think about what you've done b0 leave them if they cant see past your flaws find someone who will
Anonymous
November 20th, 2015 4:54pm
if your boyfriend/girlfriend is ashamed of you, clearly they don't deserve you, you should never be treated like that
skwillhelp
November 21st, 2015 7:05pm
I would simply say the person who is ashamed of you does not need to be around you, because you, like everyone else, are unique in yourself
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2015 4:30pm
Think about asking yourself why you want to spend time with someone who feels like this about you. You are worth so much more than this, so it's for the best if you walk away from a damaging relationship. You know it makes sense.
greenJOHN1971
November 25th, 2015 6:05am
Well, Are you sure that you aren't insecure about yourself? You sound a bit uncertain about what to do ?
dianaluna
November 26th, 2015 3:03pm
Your boyfriend/girlfriend shouldn't be ashamed of you , you should be accepted by him/her. You should talk to her/him and try to get to the bottom of the situation. why is he/she ashamed? is it you or him/her?
Anonymous
November 27th, 2015 3:04am
Sit with them and ask them why they are ashamed, and what about your actions are making them feel this way. Communication is key in any healthy relationship.
dreamBeauty43
November 27th, 2015 8:48am
Break up with them! If they are not proud of you then they are not worth being with and are clearly not a very kind person. It will be hard but find someone who shows off about you, and is proud to be with you. It will be a much healthier relationship!
peacefulBlossom75
November 28th, 2015 2:43am
I think you should evaluate whether or not the relationship is healthy for you and this person at this point if they are not proud of you as a person. It depends really on the situation. Talking to them about how you feel about them being ashamed of you and asking them why they are could be highly beneficial.
soothingPeace91
November 29th, 2015 6:00am
if your dating someone and they are ashamed of you would you want to be with them? if they cant take your small issues than they shouldn't take your big issues.
Anonymous
November 29th, 2015 1:52pm
You should acknowledge how you feel about your relationship and specifically your boyfriend. How has this relationship effected you? That's the most important question.
LisaWillListen
December 2nd, 2015 12:10am
Remain proud of yourself, only you can allow someone to shame you. Get around other people who love you.
Anonymous
December 2nd, 2015 6:31pm
Break up with them. They clearly don't respect you & you deserve better than them. I wouldn't say that it is a healthy relationship for you since they don't want to be seen with you. That can hurt you emotionally and the side effects can be horrendous.
TheLight001
December 3rd, 2015 12:54pm
find out why they are ashamed of you. speak to your partner about your feelings and how you can resolve the issue
enigmaticBraveheart19
December 4th, 2015 4:08am
break up with them. you are worth more. you deserve someone who is more than proud to be with you - you should only accept the love you think you deserve
luminousPond34
December 6th, 2015 3:40am
If your significant other is ashamed of you, then you clearly aren't the right person for them. You should find someone who truly cares about you and wants to be seen with you everywhere you go.
Mztrulybeautiful
February 8th, 2016 4:56am
It would seem like the best thing to do in this situation is to leave that person and find someone who will be proud to have you and love you for being you. This is my personal opinion, the decision is completely up to you. I'm here to support you and be here for you whatever you decide to do. (:
Michaela01
February 22nd, 2016 5:01am
If I'm going to be compeltely honest, if you're boyfriend/girlfriend is ashamed of you, you shouldn't be with them. You should be with someone who loves and cares about you so much, they show you off.
quickwittedCake9953
December 4th, 2017 12:16am
I would talk to my partner and find out why he/she is ashamed of me. If they are truly honest with you it will be easier to talk about a solution to get past it. If they cannot be honest with you and it seems to be getting no where you are better off terminating the relationship and find someone who is more perfected to you and will not be ashamed of you or make you feel less important than you truly are worth
Anonymous
June 28th, 2021 5:20am
You can ask them why they feel that way. Can you say that if you are ashamed of me than you can find someone else. You look pretty or handsome the way you are. a lot of people don't like you because of your beauty. That's okay. God made us all different. You are so different than everyone else. You are very special. You let anyone get you down. God made you very special. You didn't need that person in your life anyway if they are ashamed of you. You can do better. There are people out there who will love you for who you are.
Anonymous
August 10th, 2021 2:24pm
If your partner is ashamed of you, first try to have a conversation to figure out the reason. If that doesn't work out, I would suggest you to break up with them. Nobody should be ashamed of someone they love and honestly you deserve better than someone who does not accept you as you are. Don't try to change yourself to fit their standards. I had a partner who would never talk about me in public or just pretend they did not know me at all in front of their friends. I spoke to them and they said it was because we were in different social circles, we broke up because I was not willing to be with someone who was ashamed of me because we were in different circles. I hope this helps :)