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My boyfriend or girlfriend is embarrassed of me. What should I do?

256 Answers
Last Updated: 12/27/2020 at 1:20pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
June 27th, 2019 12:38pm
You should confront them and tell them that you love yourself and you won't change for them.Your are perfect the way you are.Tell them that you are with them not because they want to be, but because you also want to be. Show that you are not embarrassed of them and they shouldn't be as well. Tell them you love them for who they are and not for their looks,but if they can't do the same ,it makes you uncomfortable and if they love them will all their heart they should not be embarrassed of who you are,but first love yourself.
lucywormie
May 21st, 2020 1:24am
I don’t control relationships but nobody deserves this! you’re worth more than being with somebody who cant give you the full love you deserve. Talk to them and if they’re still acting hurtful then maybe let them go, everyone deserves better so you deserve your chance too. Express how they’re making you feel to them but don’t change whatever embarrasses them to suit them because you’re better being yourself. What affects them about you is their problem not yours. People love you but sometimes it’s not the best so put your health first and do what you thinks better for you
Anonymous
July 25th, 2020 8:18am
Its sad to know that. However, you may ask them what they feel embarrassed about and get their opinions on what they think of you as a person and if it seems valid or justified to you, ask them what you need to do for them to not feel so only if it doesn’t affect your mental well-being. Share your thoughts and address them, explain to them what's going on in your mind due to their actions and how they are making you feel. Only way to make them know your emotions and know the reason for their behaviour is through communication. It is tough to be under appreciated by your partner and them not being proud to be around you. Make things clearer about what they really want or think about the relationship as this may cause further problems and also dont put yourself down due to their actions, value yourself enough and talk it out. Know when to walk away if they seem unreasonable.
edenhereee
November 7th, 2015 3:03am
You should be yourself and if they don't like what you daily life is, then they aren't the one for you.
TARY
November 7th, 2015 10:40am
I am sure you are just perfect the way you are, no one should be outrightly embarrassed of you. However, it is also true that we are not perfect people, we might have done things that are way out of hand that might have caused others to feel a certain way about us. Communication is key, you should find out exactly what is causing that negative feeling of embarrassment, how should both parties be united together for the purpose of solving that problem and then looking forward from there onwards. No turning back.
Anonymous
November 7th, 2015 11:49am
Talk with him/her why he/she is embarrassed and ask what you do that makes him/her feel like this. Also ask: what could you do to change this situation
Anonymous
November 7th, 2015 3:46pm
You should ask them what makes them embarrassed of you and ask them what do you suppose to do. You can also tell them about your feeling so together can understand to each other
Anonymous
November 7th, 2015 5:15pm
Talk it out and find out why. Try to work together to fix the problem and make sure to look at future goals together.
sunshineHorizon27
November 8th, 2015 12:59am
if its something really weird that u do and u can avoid it then u may do it for them but if its the way u r and they are caring more about herself or himself without seeing that y r happy this way and thats who u r ,then y should face them with it and either they apologize and get along with your habits or they dont and in that case you must let go and search for your happinies :)
beautifulFaith43
November 8th, 2015 1:04am
Ask them what is is that embrassed them, if it is something you like about yourself or that you do not want to change, then do not. You are who you are and that is important to remember. Maybe they do not appreciate you enough.
Dixie2015
November 8th, 2015 2:02am
Find someone else. Or if you really care for this person be upfront and open ask them about it. TALK
flawedsilhouette
November 8th, 2015 2:35am
Talk it out with your partner! It's important to always communicate with your partner whenever you find something is wrong. Communication builds trust and strengthens the relationship. Make sure there is a final mutual agreement!
Greatlistener87
November 8th, 2015 3:36am
If that person is in love with you they should not be embarrassed of you. But if you really want to solve the issue maybe you can have a talk and find out why that person is embarrassed of you and tell them how you feel about it.
Letsdothis92
November 8th, 2015 5:03am
Apologize to them and find a way together to prevent it in the future. A construcive discussion together will help.
Princelamb
November 8th, 2015 7:02am
No one should be embarrassed of someone they love. Do what you think is right, you don't deserve to be hidden. Talk about with your S/O! If something bothers you, don't let it simmer!
Gadaldinho
November 8th, 2015 8:38am
Do you Love him/her ? if you love that person plz Tell him or her to change en fit in ur ways if that fails to work chill him/her
cuddlyBreeze53
November 8th, 2015 12:47pm
Reflect on yourself first. Think: What did I do to make them embarrassed of me? Was it wrong? If you did do something inappropriate, stop doing that. But if you come to a conclusion that you have done nothing wrong, then you should reconsider your relationship with them because the most important thing in a relationship is compatibility.
PsicoMediAccion
November 8th, 2015 12:47pm
Depende. La mayoria de la gente pensará que debes dejarlo pero eso da igual. Lo que importa es lo que quieras hacer tú. El problema lo tiene tu pareja. Si tu aun así estás agusto con la relación, porque cambiar?. No obstante, si esta situación te hace estar mal debes poner en una balanza los pros y contras de la relación y valorar qué quieres hacer para decidir y actuar en consecuencia.
Anonymous
November 8th, 2015 2:33pm
Talk to him about it and how it hurts you. Bee open to him and share your observaation to tackle the matter.
LucyJua
November 8th, 2015 3:48pm
If it's a long, serious relationhsip, maybe just talk honestly. But if you've just started, I don't think there's a point in staying together while there's no acceptance trom his side
Anonymous
November 8th, 2015 5:30pm
Be yourself. Your boyfriend or girlfriend should accept you the way you are and not be embarrassed
JakeTS
November 8th, 2015 7:55pm
Don't be embarrassed yourself!! You are you and that's important. The best advice is talk to them. Theres no right or wrong thing to think of anyone, and relationships are tricky enough at the best of times, the worst thing to do is go without talking. Ask them whats up and talk through eachothers positives and negatives. get everything in the open and work forwards together.
Anonymous
November 8th, 2015 8:04pm
You should talk to him/her , ask him/her whats wrong. And If its really getting out of the control, you should tell him/her that i he/she wants to e in relationship with you he/she needs to be normal. Or else...
solxyz
November 8th, 2015 10:59pm
The first thing to remember is that his or her embarrassment is primarily an expression of his or her own insecurity. Because we all have weaknesses, we need to find the right balance between taking care of ourselves and helping others. If you can help your boyfriend or girlfriend carry this pain and continue to show him or her love and support despite the inappropriate and harmful way that he or she is dealing with his or her feelings, this could be very healing for your partner as well as very empowering to you. But this is not always possible. It is also appropriate to discuss the matter directly, to explain simply that you are how you are, and explain that your partner should look for ways to accept and support you both personally and publicly.
Anonymous
November 11th, 2015 12:48am
From personal experience I would try to talk it out and go about the best method I could such as going to couples counseling or making a compromise, but it they're embarassed or something you can't control I would probably dump them, because they don't deserve you!
Anonymous
November 11th, 2015 12:58am
So your girlfriend or boyfriend is embarrassed of you. Have you spoken to this with them previously?
Anonymous
November 11th, 2015 1:34am
You should talk to him/her and tell them how its making you feel and if they still don't understand then you are worth more than them and they are not worthy of your time or love.
Anonymous
November 11th, 2015 1:51am
If a boyfriend/girlfriend is embarrassed of you, it really has nothing to do with you. It is THEIR feeling, and attitude. You should talk to them about it, if possible. If not, it may be time to move...in love..and find someone who would be proud of you, not embarrassed.
Anonymous
November 11th, 2015 2:32am
Why are they embarrassed? Maybe you can go up to them, and have a nice and deep talk with them and see whats wrong.
EXEI
November 11th, 2015 4:03am
You boyfriend/girlfriend is embarrassed. You are not. It's their problem , not yours. If it really bothers you, ask them the matter and try to solve them. If they are embarrassed of you, they don't deserve to have you. Don't change yourself to impress them. Stay strong !