Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

My boyfriend or girlfriend is embarrassed of me. What should I do?

256 Answers
Last Updated: 12/27/2020 at 1:20pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Deane Rain Marie, LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I take a holistic approach in working with eating disorders, mood disorders, relationships, and the LGBTQ community. I use EMDR, Dreamwork, Stories, CBT and Cinema therapy.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
November 29th, 2015 11:25am
Hah?!! In my opinion it's not healthy for you after all, you deserve to be with someone who you can comfortable with .. Try to have a conversation about this and try to fix, remember your comfort is a priority
Daretoberare91
December 4th, 2015 4:14am
I would ask them the reason why they are embarrassed of you and figure out if there is something that you can do to change it.
Anonymous
December 6th, 2015 5:51pm
He/she obviously does not appreciate you enough,and does not value you as much as he/she is supposed to, my opinion- find a new bf/gf who accepts you for who you are, quirky, clumsy,tall model like ,whatsoever. -load of love
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2015 3:58am
Reconsider who you are dating, when you choose to be with someone you are accepting them for who they are, if they can't handle that then its time you wait for someone who will
Anonymous
August 2nd, 2016 5:02am
If someone is embarrassed to be with you or embarrassed of you, then they do not deserve you. Know your worth. Find someone who would be happy to be with you. Also, find out what about you embarrasses them and see if you can understand why, maybe it is something you can fix about yourself.
ArwaDiamond
September 16th, 2016 9:18pm
You should talk to them, tell them how you are feeling, that's the only way they will know, and make sure to say it in a polite manner to avoid embarrassing them as well.
magnanimousButton53
September 23rd, 2016 10:47am
Just start with an usual talk and later ask the friend why they feel so. Based on their view decision can be taken.
2cupsofteaa
September 23rd, 2016 8:46pm
That sounds like it would have been extremely hurtful to know that a loved one, someone who should accept you for who you are, feels that way about you. I feel that the only thing that you could or should do is sit your partner down and have a serious talk about the reason behind their embarrassment and how that makes you feel. Communication is key.
peachicus
September 25th, 2016 12:29pm
Sit down and talk to them about this feeling as clearly it needs discussing as you shouldn't be feeling inadequate or anxious of who you are. Maybe there is another reason or problem that will help if you discuss your feelings
Anonymous
September 28th, 2016 11:29pm
If they were your real partner I believe they wouldn't be embarrassed of you. But be proud of you and show you off.
handsomeForest17
October 2nd, 2016 11:30am
The first thing is to realize that you have done something and embarrassed your partner amd accept it and sincerely ask for apology with an understandable statement about what went wrong or right.
Anonymous
October 5th, 2016 3:51am
Ultimately, are you embarrassed of you? That's the real question! We can never be truly happy living under the judgment or comparison of others. If you're not embarrassed by you, then either you're misreading your partner or they may not be the right one for you: we should date people we are comfortable with. It's not meant to be if either party is consistently uncomfortable! Either way, have an open-minded, honest conversation with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Start the conversation when you both have free time and are in private. Say something like, "Hey, can I talk to you? I want to be a good girlfriend/boyfriend, but I feel you're embrassed of me when you [act embarrassed]." Let them know how they act that makes you feel this way and be open-minded to their response. It's okay for you to feel the way you do, but it's okay for other people to have feelings too, and it's okay if those feelings don't always align together.
phoenixpsy
October 6th, 2016 10:35pm
A healthy relationship should leave you feeling proud and loved, safe, accepted, and worthy. If this is not how you are feeling, try talking to your partner about why he or she feels this way about you. If they truly do not value you, it is important to do what is best for you in this situation
redrose321
October 8th, 2016 12:06am
Really question the nature of your relationship. Do they appreciate you for you, or the idea of being with you? Everyone matters, has a place in this world and deserves to be recognized. If this person cannot give you that title in front of others, it means he/she probably does not care for you the way you thought he/she did.
smoltimes
October 15th, 2016 3:06pm
Leave them. You do not deserve to be with someone who is embarrassed of you. You are an amazing beautiful human and you should have someone who respects you. If they do not have the respect to be seen with you in public, there is something very wrong with them.
AmberOfficial
October 23rd, 2016 6:58pm
If they are embarrassed of you , you may need to take that into consideration that maybe they aren't ready for commitment and if they really do love you they would show you off. You could try talking to them about it but if they continue you there ways I feel that it would be best to end it and get with someone that will show you off and loves you for who you are and not anyone else's views.
Anonymous
October 27th, 2016 1:23am
I would suggest you talk about your feelings with your boyfriend or girlfriend. By doing this, you may be able to clear up any issues you may be having.
Anonymous
October 27th, 2016 1:39pm
Tell him or her to stop. If they do not stop then you should possibly stop that relationships. If it making you not uneasy then that is not the place for you.
helpfulDog368
November 4th, 2016 11:16am
You should confront them about the problem. Ask them why they feel this way. Unless they have a good reason, break up with them. You deserve to be with someone who is proud to have you.
originalbraveheart63
November 10th, 2016 2:25pm
Talk to them about the problem, ask them why are they embarrased and try to fix it. Conversations usually could solve many problems.
Xstitcher
November 18th, 2016 11:40am
Speak the them about why they are feeling that way and where the misunderstanding may be. Don't be afraid to express to them how that makes you feel and how their view is upsetting to you.
magnanimousJoy54
November 18th, 2016 8:54pm
If your boyfriend or girlfriend is embarrassed of you then you need to question yourself whether they should really worth to be your girlfriend or boyfriend. Instead of being embarrassed they can let you know if you do anything wrong and can guide you take good decisions but being embarrassed from someone you love isn't something i believe happens in true love. If you are confident on yourself, ignore the people who are embarrassed; life is too short to waste for such people. Enjoy and live life to the fullest.
beautifulOcean
November 23rd, 2016 8:03pm
If someone I was in a relationship with was embarrassed of me, that's an instant turn-off. Whoever you're with should be willing to show you off and be proud of you. I genuinely do not think this is a fault for you, rather for your partner.
Wohkah
December 24th, 2016 6:51am
Sit them down and ask them why they're embarrassed of you. As a boyfriend or girlfriend should love their partner for their perfections and imperfections. Being with someone who views you as a embarrassment is not worth staying with. As there's someone out there that will love you for who you are and would never consider you a embarrassment.
DareYouToTry
February 5th, 2017 10:30pm
Ask them what exactly makes them embarassed of you. If its something you can't change, make them understand or leave.
beautifulLion03
February 15th, 2017 10:25pm
I believe the best way is to talk with him/her about it, it is the only you can learn why and make sure she/he understands you don't like that!
sunshineTime30
February 25th, 2017 1:04pm
From a personal experience try to be upfront with them and ask to talk about it with them to resolve the problem so that you're both happy in your relationship and you're not bottling up your feelings and becoming angry with them, confusing them because they don't know what you're thinking and how much it upsets and frustrates you.
Anonymous
March 3rd, 2017 4:25am
I would figure out why they are embarrassed of you. If it's something that can be fixed you both can work on it. But honestly why would you want to stay with someone who is embarrassed of you? Whoever you are with should be proud to be with you, should be loving, give you respect and make your life easier. If you can't work it out dump them because they probably don't deserve you anyway.
hopefulMango92
March 20th, 2017 7:59pm
I am so sorry that they said this. You deserve to be with someone who respects you and is proud of you - and trust me, even though you may be heartbroken right now, there ARE people out there who will respect you and are proud of you. I would personally talk to them about how it made you feel, and ask them how they feel as well. Perhaps this can be talked out, but always remember that you deserve respect.
Heartie
April 13th, 2017 4:47pm
Ask yourself if this person is accepting you for who you are. In our society, it's not nice being judged by anyone, but for your partner to feel embarrassment about you, well that's just an undesirable feeling you shouldn't have to put up with. Your partner should support you and embrace who you are.