My brother and sister are always mean to me, what can I do about it?
31 Answers
Last Updated: 06/08/2020 at 5:59pm
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Elaine Kish, LMSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist
My goal is to treat clients with respect and compassion. I am a supportive, strengths-based therapist with experience in treating mood disorders, grief, and trauma.
Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
November 16th, 2014 5:40pm
Maybe they don't know, how you really feel! You should talk to them. They'll understand you. In the end, they are your brother and your sister.
I'm going to assume that going to your parents isn't an option that's why you're asking. It depends on the severity of the word "mean" according to you. If it's severe then talking to a trusted adult like a teacher or a counselor could work (if you're a child). If it's in the grey area then the best you can do is just stay out of their way whenever possible or try to turn the situation into a lighthearted joke instead of getting all upset over it. Sometimes siblings are mean just to see your reaction and being all upset about it just fuels them to do more of those mean acts to you... Instead, try laughing about it. Easier said than done- it's going to take a while to get into the habit of turning the situation positive... but it's worth a try right?
Anonymous
November 5th, 2014 3:33am
Brothers and sisters can be our biggest bullies but you are not alone. Speak to your parents or another adult. Ask for advice on how to stand up for yourself or avoid confrontation with your siblings
It's a natural happening in families. When my sister picked on me, I would always respond in a kind, soothing voice, almost a little creepy. That makes them realize that what they are saying does not impact you.
I can relate, I asked my older brother for simply a pencil while he was playing a video game. My brother then kicked me out, I waited five minutes, then, he came out, threw a pencil (an attempt to throw it at me, but, failed) and then decided not to give it to me afterwards because I said something due to him hitting it on my arm multiple times and trying to throw it at me. So, basically, my brother is a jerk regardless.
Try and speak with them. Ask them if you can talk with them privately. When talking to them make sure to express how you're feeling. If they're willing to listen then explain to them why.
If you can, talk to your parent/guardian about it - often siblings can be mean, but they don't necessarily realise that they've really hurt you. Communication is always important, tell them they've hurt/offended/upset you and go from there :)
First of all, make sure they know how you feel. They might not even realize they are hurting you. If they still don't stop, tell your parents. This is not 'tattle-telling'.
Nothing. Tune them out and know that deep down they care about about as much as you care about (or should) them and that this is just them taking their personal frustrations out on you and the people around them
Have you spoken to your parents or other trusted adult about this? I do very much empathize with you. It sounds very difficult and maybe hurtful to deal with.
Have you tried to explain to them how they make you feel? You could try writing down your feelings and then give them the paper if you're not able to verbally tell them yourself. Maybe they don't understand how it makes you feel. You could tell a parent or guardian, a trusted friend or another family member, just so you can get it off your chest. Talking to someone helps.
From personal experience, your siblings aren't specifically being mean to you to just be mean. They are your family and we as family love each other even if we don't always show it. Be sure to make sure you are not giving them unkindness in return and just talk to them, explaining your point of view and asking them to stop being so nasty to you. If they don't listen, look to your parents for help.
Remember to always be humble. I am not sure in what degree their meanness is, but I am quite sure that if you will stay humble, it'll pass soon. They will get tired of being mean to you eventually.
You could talk to them and let them know how you are feeling. If that doesn't work maybe you could talk to your parents about it. It's important to not retaliate. Respond to their meanness with kindness
Talk to them!(you can try to talk with someone you trust) tell them that you feel bad because they are mean with you.
You can talk to them about it, or if you don't feel save doing that, speak to your parents or a counselor.
you can ask them to stop also if you are still living with your parents you could tell them and ask them to make them stop
Maybe you can talk to your parents about it, or have a meeting with your siblings and tell them how you feel and what kind of relationship you want with them!
Believe in yourself. Know that life is full of ups and downs. You don't need to prove anything to them, but still continue living with your morals and show it to them. Besides, if can no longer tolerate them, maybe it is better talking to your parents
Talking to your parents helps. Try to talk to your siblings too explain your situation and your feelings
Try talking to them about how their actions affect you, calmy explain to them why some of the things they do/say hurt you.
Tell your parents on them
Speak to your parents about it, tell them how you feel and also maybe they can explain to u as to why your siblings behave that way.
You can talk to your parents about it or another trusted adult. You can even take it up with your siblings. Tell them how you're feeling and what's going on and what you'd like to see different.
Anonymous
February 16th, 2016 7:02pm
You could try talking to them about how you feel about it as sometimes they don't realize eat they say can be hurtful.
Anonymous
December 27th, 2015 11:00am
They are your brother and sister, they will understand you if you talk to them and tell them how you are feeling, talk to them privately and make sure you don't fight with them, but if they continue, then you should tell a well trusted adult.
Anonymous
December 22nd, 2015 1:03pm
Talk to them about how that makes you feel. If they continue then tell a well trusted elder or adult.
Maybe there are family dynamics in your home that favor you in front of your parents and your sibling are jealous. However, you are not at fault for what they do to you so the best thing would be to try to defend yourself in an effective way. You could ask them about their feelings about you and why they do that, but don´t expect openness on their part and simply stand up for your rights. You have a right to be treated with respect and dignity.
I think the first thing to do would be to talk to them about it. If they dont listen then maybe it's time to speak to your parents, because it's important that you start to feel better!
Sibling relationship is the weirdest one in the world. Sometimes, living in such close contact with them, you can become blind to some things. You end up ignoring the nice things and picking up on only the bad. So take a moment and actually look at your situation.
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