My father is having an extramarital affair. Part of me wants to end my relationship with him for cheating on my mom, but i worry that he will be depressed as he loves me a lot. How do I deal with this situation?

That's so hard. I am sorry. Your Dad will always be your Dad, and as much as it must hurt to see your mom hurt, you can't protect her from any of that. You can not like how your dad is behaving but still love your dad. The good news is you don't have to make any decisions today.

Try to think both rationally and emotionally. Although you know about this situation, it's not necessarily your responsibility to fix it. Talk to your dad about it, from an adult to another adult and perhaps try to see things from his point of view.

This shows that you are a sensitive person. Control your emotions and do what is right. Talk to him about this. By not doing anything, you are cheating on your mom.

It's rarely wise to insinuate oneself into another's private, intimate relationship. Your parent's privacy should be respected in this situation. Your mother may well know of your father's affair. Your best course is to remain loving towards both parents, and accepting of them as human beings, capable of doing both good and less than, in their lives. It is their marriage, and only the two of them understand the intricacies of their union. Love them in spite of their flaws, and refrain from judgment.

I feel that any situation with an affair is unfair in everyones life. I think you should talk to him and ask him what he really wants.

It's good that you care about your mom that much. Talking to your father would be good step to start processing the situation.

Speak to your father about his actions. Let him know how it makes you feel, and that it makes you want to possibly cut him out. Try to understand why he is having an affair, and if your mother knows about it. It may seem out there, but your parents could have an open relationship, or- not be that happy together. I grew up with my parents separated, though not divorced, since I was five. My mother was having several affairs, and my father had one around the time they broke up. Sometimes having an affair can cause less conflict in the household, as long as both partners are aware of it.

The best thing to do is tell somebody. Keeping that kind of weight on your shoulders can be detramental to your health, and happiness. It might make your father upset, but in the end the outcome will be better than keeping it a secrete. Your not alone in this, and your mother would be very greatful for your strength and honesty!

I think that it's hard to directly tell your dad how you feel about what he's done, especially if you're not open about these things in the family. It'll be good if you can approach him and tell him honestly what you feel. Moreover, if you can forgive your dad for cheating on your mom, continue your bond with your father and go on with your life, it would be the ideal situation. This doesn't mean that you forget what your father has done though. You don't have to rush, just take your time to think things through. Forgiveness is hard but it will give you peace of mind.

That's a tough one. You are clearly angry with your father and those feelings are valid. One thing to bear in mind though is that we are not responsible for another person and how they feel or react. If you worry about your father being depressed you are taking on a responsibility for him that isn't yours to take on. Your father is an adult and he is responsible for himself. I can see that you want to try and protect your mum from being hurt even more, but all you can do is be there for her if she wants to talk to you about things. I know it's a difficult thing to do especially when the affair is still going on but forgiveness is a big thing, and that will help you to let go of this burden that you are carrying. You can't change your father or his behaviour but you can control yourself and how you react to any situation. You are in a difficult place but try and take of you and let the other stuff over which you have no control work itself out.

What do you want the end result to be? Youre dad is having an affair, if you spoke to him about it, would you want him to end it? Does he know you know? But no matter what, try to talk to him about it, voice why you want to end your relationship with him (also you need to take care of yourself in this, so cutting yourself off isnt bad) and if you need to, do. My parents went through a bad divorce and I refused to talk to my mother for several years. Now we talk almost everyday and have an even stronger relationship.

I know you care about both of your parents but severing your relationship with one of them because of this is choosing sides. Getting involved is not the best decision. This affair is between your parents, you did not cause it nor should you try to fix it. They must work through this on their own as this is their problem. The best you can do is be there to support each of them unbiased. It will be difficult but you must be strong. You will feel a sense of betrayal, distrust, disappointment, sadness and even anger but do not allow these feelings to affect how you deal with this situation. At the end of it all they are both your parents and they both love and care for you despite whatever issues they are having among themselves.

Yeah. I think it's hard to solve. But, you just end up this now. Don't be afraid about what happened next.. because your step for want to end up is good, I think. Yeah, It's okay you feel afraid for what happened to him. Because he so meaningful to your life. But let's think it clearly. If your mom know it, what Will she feel? What Will she think about both of you who hurt her heart. The end of something is beginning for others. I think both of you must learning the truth because It's can't be forever. In the end, it Will be hurting you, your father, your mother. But you need to decide. You not alone. I Will hear you :)

Keep in mind that your relationship with your father is separate from his relationship to others. The extramarital affair he is having does not reflect negatively on you, and he will have to own the consequences of his actions. You didn't cause it, cannot control it, and cannot change it. There is no way to "punish" him for his actions. Each individual must come to terms with the impact he is having on each relationship he has. You must take care of yourself -- whether that means taking time away from him or maintaining your relationship with him. Do what is right for you.

Express your displeasure and stand up for your mom. But don’t break your loving relationship with your father. Both are your parents after all. And each relationship can be given it’s due and treated separately. He loves you and that is a very special thing for you and you shouldn’t lose out on his love because of his affair. At the same time, you should offer support to your mother and be there for her. Mothers wouldn’t want their children to lose the love, affection and company of their fathers, so she wouldn’t ask that of you. Give them both their dues.

Well it's not easy I will tell you that. I have also had similar events take place with my parents, due to separation because of extramarital affairs. My situation happened very early on as a child so I didn't get to worry about my father's feelings at the time I was not given a choice unfortunately. But I could see how this could way on your shoulder's. First of all your father put his self in that situation, and usually there are consequences to those actions. But please know that you are not responsible for the outcome. You are entitled to have worry or concern at your Dad's actions because you have fear of loosing your family, and who wants to know that dad is cheating on mom right. Dad may become depressed it can effect all parties. But you don't have to end your relationship with him. The family may need counseling to help the family with separation. And hopefully your Father can see the hurt he's caused and try to build gaining the trust of his loved ones. Sometimes families move on and you will get through it, its just how people move on. Try to support both parents your mother for her devastation of your father's affair, and your father for his embarrassing act towards your family. And know that things will work out fine. I'm sure you can work it out being that he loves you dearly. My Father loves me it just didn't work out as planned with my parents. So I learned to forgive in hopes to build and have better future relationships for myself. And I know you will do the same. Good luck on the way!!!!!

Hi, I’m really sorry you are having to go through this tough situation, is not an easy one. As a daughter you don’t want to be disloyal to your parents and that is basically what this scenario presents you with. Have you thought about having a conversation with your dad and just letting him know you are aware as to what is going on which doesn’t mean you will emotionally cut him off but that you would really appreciate if he was honest and upfront with your mom. Hold space for both of them and just be there to support them individually in which ever way you can. As for you take care of you and do not compromise who you are soon enough all will fall into place.

My advice to you would be for you to do what you believe is morally right. Perhaps ask him to end his affair he's having and discuss with him how it makes you feel about him, your father must love you a lot and if its hurting you and causing you grief he will respectfully come to a choice, you should know that he may choose to stay with your mother or end the relationship and start a formal official one with his new partner. Be prepared that it may not go the way you want it too, but as long as your father makes a choice to stop holding the family at a stand still then thats morally the right thing to do.

This is most certainly a difficult situation to have found yourself in. Please know that although your father chose to make a decision that affects many people, he more than likely did not choose to make it with the intention of hurting anyone. Infidelity is a complex situation that has so many intricate components in it, and the reasons for each person who engages in it are as unique as the person themselves. It's completely understandable that you would not want to talk to your father for some time now that you have found out about this situation. Please know that if you do continue your relationship with him, it does not mean that you are condoning his behavior. It's more about being able to forgive his mistake, loving him for the person that he is to you, and understanding that even though he is your father, he is a human being first, and therefore is incapable of escaping the ability to make problems for himself, and others. Your loyalty to your mother will never be questioned if you choose to continue speaking with your father. However, if he does become depressed by your choosing to cut ties with him, then it is up to him to understand that his inappropriate behavior couldn't exactly lead to positive reactions from his family members, including you. This does not mean that he should be "punished" for the sake of hurting his feelings. What it does mean, though, is that no one has to minimize the effects of the damage that has been caused by his decision. If you're hurt, you're hurt. If you don't want to talk to him for a short while, or a longer while, that is okay. Whatever it is that you choose to do, so long as you are willing to do it from a place of love for yourself, you will be able to feel comfortable with the decision that you make.

This is a very difficult situation to be in as you feel a sense of responsibility towards both your mother and father. Keep in mind that this is your fathers wrong doing. You must ensure your own personal needs are being met and this is unfair putting you in this situation. Speak to him and explain that he has put you into a difficult situation and you want him to tell your mum or else you will. Secrets always come out in the end and it is better to say now than to lose a relationship with your mum whenever she finds out that you knew. Also if your worried about your father getting depressed, perhaps he isnt happy at the minute and that is why he is having an affair

I understand that this situation must be difficult for you to be in. Personally I know what it is like to be forced to pick sides between parents, and it is not easy to be in that position. You may also find it beneficial to talk to a therapist if you need advice. I believe that if you tried to communicate your feelings about this situation with your father, it may provide you with the opportunity to find clarity in your decision. It may also help you to take some time to process the situation to determine what emotions you are feeling towards the situation.

First, you're allowed to be angry about this. I'm sure you're feeling betrayed, like the foundation of your relationship has been shaken. I think that one thing to remember is that parents, no matter what, are still humans that are capable of doing good and doing harm, and - just like you - they're trying to live their life the best way they know how. I think the number one thing would be to take stock of the facts and assess from there. How is it hurting you? How is it hurting your mother? How you're feeling? I'd voice all of these things to your father and go from there.

I know it's never been easy for you in this matter. seeing your father cheating on your mom and breaking their marriage in to a deeper problem. but im here for you , you cab always tell me anything. I believe you are a good person with good heart to decide the best and fit for your situations.

You should speak with directly, portray your feelings, emotions, worries and concerns towards him. Tell him where you stand and your feelings towards him. Nothing is ever black and white, you can still love him, but he needs and should hear how his actions in marriage effect you! Maybe look at options to help him also, marriage councilors ect, as he may need this. Also take into consideration how ending your realtionship with him would honestly effect you, as much as its easy to say that now, yes he has done bad, but he is still your father, good or bad, family is family!

You should ask your father to leave the other woman and get back to your mother and make her the happiest person on this planet in the name of his relationship with you. If he really loves you, he will improve.

I would recommend that you talk to him about it and how it makes you feel. Tell him that you do not like his actions and that, even though you love him, you do not respect his decision to be with someone else when he is married (I suppose? Sorry for assuming, dear) to your mother. Honestly, you need to chat with him about it, or maybe tell your mother. The situation he's putting himself in is not good and will most likely end up hurting everyone in a way or another. So really, talking to him is all you can do. Keep in mind that it's not your fault.

It sounds like you also love him a lot, but you are disappointed in his behavior. It's difficult to make oneself vulnerable and express how we really feel. But it can also be incredibly rewarding to open up and be honest with the person who has hurt or disappointed us. The key is to do this from a voice of vulnerability and love so as not to trigger defensiveness. Before deciding to shut your father out entirely, it might be worth it to initiate this difficult conversation about how his actions have impacted you. Be sure to have the conversation from a place of love.

Do your hardest to tell, teach, and show him how wrong that is, and that if he truly doesnt love your mother anymore then he needs to be honest and upfront with her about that too, rather than trying to just leave her in the past and move on, while sneaking around. Im sure its alot of stress for him even to be doing what hes doing, and mention that to him, to lean him more towards wanting to stop doing that. He could still love your mother very much and not be thinking right or have external influences that are altering the way he would usually react and decide about decisions like that, and if so, you need to ease into him while talking to him, because you could get him to vent out to you, what that is. If we can stop all the problems in one go, rather than working at one at a time, is great.

Talk to him. Let him know that you're aware of his affair. And then also let him know how disappointed you are. I know it feels horrible, but still, that an issue between your father and your mother, and not between you two. Try to separate yourself from that problem. I am sure he values you and loves you dearly, and I also understand you want to 'punish' him for treating your mom wrong. But still, you are a different 'world' for him. Try to not be too harsh on him, but let him know. Hope this helps :)