My mother always acts like we're in competition. What do I do?
Last Updated: 03/27/2018 at 1:11am
Amanda Wiginton, LMFT
Marriage & Family Therapist
Now is the time to make a change! Professional, empathic, and compassionate therapist waiting to help you make healthy life changes.
Top Rated Answers
To act like you are not, learn when to back down. People, who are elder, are less likely to admit to being wrong, because its a general belief that mistakes should not be made by people in power
Try talking to her about it, and tell her that you don't want to compete with her and that's what she's making you feel like you two are doing. Also, don't indulge her by showing a competitive attitude back; instead, when she brags about something in order to compete with you, just tell her how great it is, and don't take the bait.
If your mother often competes with you it would be best to avoid the kinds of situations in which she is able to do that. When you can't avoid them, it might help if you compliment her on how well she is doing that particular activity. That should help improve her self-esteem and it may prevent her from competing with you in that activity in the future.
Talk to her first before making an assumption that she's doing it on purpose. Tell her how it makes you feel and respond accordingly.
have you talk to her about how you feel? sorry i can't give you any advices, but i promise i will support you
Try to think what is most suitable for you as make priorities in your life. If you think that you don't like the way your mother treat you then do what you want to also put your mother decision in your priority order not necessary that it should be on top one!!
Talk to her and let her know how you feel. Let her know that she is the parent and you are the child and how there really shouldn't be a competition. There's no need for one, and you need her as a parent,not your rival.
Figure out how it makes you feel, and if it bothers you have a talk with her and hopefully she'll understand.
Talk with her. You can tell her how you feel, that this is not a competition. She is your mother, she will understand.
I think it is important for you both to have a conversation about this. Bring it up, and let her know how it makes you feel.
i would sit her down and just talk start off with little conversation and then lead up to what you really want to talk about
Try talking to her about the way you see her behaviour and explain to her what you don't like about it. Try not to insult her while you are talking because this way she will never listen to what you have to say. Say it logically and explain what you mean.
Sit her down and tell her how you feel, it's seems like she doesn't know you have a problem with it.
This is not really a strange thing because naturally speaking the mother and daughter as females feel or act like they're in competition for example in relation with the father. However, enforcing the relationship of mother and daughter and being healthy close can solve the problem in a certain extent as I personally think.
Show your mother that you love and respect her. Maybe she just doesn't understand you and vice versa. Try to communication more with her.
Maybe she does that because she wants to stimulate you to be better than her, she is doing it because she loves you :)
If you're unhappy with the way that your mother is acting, the best thing to do is communicate that with her. She's never going to know you feel that way until you tell her. From there, you both can come up with and agree on a solution to the problem.
Try talking to her and ask why it feels that way. Think of why. Maybe she wants to feel dominant. Like a winner because she doesn't get to feel that way no more.
Learning to communicate as two adults is usually very hard when it comes to mother and son but you have to learn to allow each side to say their peace and come to a resolution. Many times this feeling of competition is more of trying to get each other's points across so it usually leads to one assuming it is a competition. Learn to relax learn to talk not yell learn to listen to each other to come to a resolution
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