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My parent wants me to do something I don't want to do, how can I tell them no?

127 Answers
Last Updated: 02/14/2022 at 12:27am
1 Tip to Feel Better
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Jennifer Patterson, LMFT, ATR-BC

Art Therapist

Life can be messy. Sometimes you need a little support to make your way through it. I love to help guide people through their challenges & to find the beauty in our messes.

Top Rated Answers
February 10th, 2016 3:53pm
If you are so confident in your decision, don't hesitate to talk to them. It's better to convey to them frankly
February 12th, 2016 12:29am
In the first place, you have to treat them with respect (they're your parents, after all, and showing a disrespective attitude with not help your cause) and you have to think about objective reasons of why you don't want to do what they're asking for. Speak calmly, trying to make them realice that you don't want to fight. Express your point of view.
February 12th, 2016 4:41am
First, i would ask what are my parent's expectations of me and what am I capable of. If the demands that the parent has on you is exceeding what you can normally do, explain to them why you say no. If they refuse to answer, that is a sign they are crossing your boundaries.
August 2nd, 2016 7:12am
Just explained to them how much you desired not to do it. Tell them exactly what you feel and why. Tell them that there's nothing good to happen if they forced you to do something you don't want to.
August 15th, 2016 7:27am
Tell them you're not comfortable with doing it and you won't do it. They should respect your opinion and tour decision, but you have to be clear and firm.
October 4th, 2016 12:50pm
Sit down with them and tell them what you think would be the cons of doing said thing for you. You might not have a plan otherwise, but if you're sure that doing what they want is something you definitely don't, then make it very clear. Good and effective communication between you and your parents is really important. Try convincing them of why you don't wish to do it.
February 14th, 2017 1:58am
You are awesome for finding your individuality and wanting to take a stand on things. Mentally prepare yourself for a calm, honest, and non-judgmental conversation about this. Before you speak with your parents, make a list of reasons why you are not comfortable with the thing, a list of reasons your parents may want you to do the thing, and a list of things you can do instead that satisfy the reasons you suspect your parents are looking for. Before you speak with your parents, consider at least one compromise that you would honestly be open to: such as doing the thing not as often, or doing something very similar. Ready? Choose a time when your parents are calm and available. Sya something like, "I'd like to speak with you in private if I can please." Then say something like, "Earlier, you said you wanted me to do something. I know you are my parents, but I have some ideas and would like to be part of this decision. I'm really uncomfortable doing this because [your top three reasons]." If they are concerned or insistent, say something like, "I'm open to do something similar, though, like X." or "I'm open to compromising and maybe doing it only once a week." or whatever applies to your situation. The hardest thing: try to remain calm, open-minded and non-judgmental throughout the conversation, even if it gets rough or your parents become irrational. One day you will be able to make these decisions for yourself without their involvement, and this is a great way to prove to them that you're capable of thinking these things through.
April 26th, 2015 2:00pm
Tell them that you really like the job they want you to do but you found something else that you would like to do.
June 17th, 2015 4:00am
Communicating your emotions is important in any event. There may be a purpose to being asked to do something that will help you understand certain situations. It also works from your parent's perspective. Communicating with them might make them realize that your feelings towards the task is justified in a rational manner.
June 23rd, 2015 2:47pm
It sounds like you are feeling anxiety from your family, talk it out with your parents and share your personal feelings about the situation.
August 10th, 2015 7:27am
Let them know how you feel about the situation. Tell them that you would prefer if you didn't, try not to make it an argument, just a nice conversation.
November 15th, 2015 6:13pm
Look, parents are the best friends you can ever have... They understand your problems... They surely want what's best for you.. And if they want you to do something you don't want, sit down, and have a really nice and calm chat with them..... Kindly explain to them how u don't wanna do that... They'll really unserstand
November 23rd, 2015 1:55am
Be reasonable. Do not scream, shout, stamp your feet etc. try and reason with them by giving your reasons
November 30th, 2015 6:55pm
Spend time together and open your mind to them. Any way they are parents they will understand you better than anyone.
December 11th, 2015 4:51am
Well, it's definitely not easy to convince them. Because, they might have been seeing it differently. Eventually, it is your life and it is you who is going to get affected. Even if you muster up all the courage to do it, you wont find happiness. The enthusiasm will always lack and so, you wont ever be able to perform that. Talk to them. Convince them. I'm sure they shall understand. Good luck!
December 11th, 2015 2:37pm
It really depends on your age or what exactly it is. If it's something that will be benificial to your life and future, then maybe you should consider, but if it's not then you need to let them know, in a respectful way that you won't be doing it.
December 11th, 2015 3:34pm
You just have to be honest but be polite. Say something like "Mom. Is it okay if I not do this?" :)
December 12th, 2015 12:59am
Straight off go off on them like I have before Send them a text message Put a letter in a place they will see it
December 13th, 2015 12:15am
"please, don't be mad at me, but I really don't want to do this. I can really understand your point, but I feel like this isn't something I like"
December 13th, 2015 2:30am
Politely tell them but first ask yourself why you don't want to do what they want so that you have reasons to tell them because parents are the only people who are worried about their children. Once you have decided what really you want then tell them. They will listen to you if you are sure about your thoughts. It's better to talk and face their wrath than repenting the whole life
December 26th, 2015 12:48am
Try to explain to your parents why you don't want to do it. In any relationship it's important to set boundaries even with our parents. They tend to think that they know best, but they need to realize that their children are living breathing people with their own emotions opinions and dreams.
December 27th, 2015 5:38am
we shouldn't tell no directly.we should convince with them and the best thing is let them realise that what is should keep both plans(yours and parents)before them,sit politely and explain every cons and pros.i think they will definitely choose the Wright one.
December 27th, 2015 11:22pm
I think if you just be honest and tell them that you don't want to do as long as your reasonable with them hopefully they will be reasonable with you :)
December 30th, 2015 12:12am
Express how you feel. Your parents love you, I'm sure that they will understand your situation and have you not do anything at all. If that's not the case, wait for them to explain as to why they need you to fulfill their task and hopefully, you'll understand their reasons.
December 30th, 2015 6:42pm
It depends on what they want you to do if they want you to do something that they feel will help you in some way i think that you should give it a try, if its something not really of any importance I thick you should tell them that you make your own decisions and you don't want to do this thing.
December 30th, 2015 9:43pm
Repeat is key when communicating with parents about disagreements. You should try to first understand why you don't want to do it, that way you will be able to communicate to your parents why you don't want to do it. If is is something you feel strongly about, hopefully your parents will understand you preferences on the subject.
December 31st, 2015 7:48pm
They are your parents, if you still live with them they are one step down from government. Do what they say, you'll know why later. I promise, SM
December 31st, 2015 9:05pm
Asking them nicely to respect your decisions is the best way to go. Also, give them all of your reasons of why you're saying no.
January 1st, 2016 7:21am
First be calm and explain to them why you don't want to do it. It's important that you show muturaty in the. This way they won't get mad
January 2nd, 2016 9:29am
You got to convense them. Just explain them that it is not what you want to do, it again depends on why you don't want to do that.