Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

My parents don't listen to me, what should I do?

215 Answers
Last Updated: 08/12/2021 at 3:58pm
1 Tip to Feel Better
United Kingdom
Moderated by

Halayma Khatun, M.A Theology(U.K, UAE), Diploma With Distinction in Counseling, Certification trauma abandonment


Compassionate, patient, experienced depression counselor. I use Psychodynamic counseling techniques. My counseling experience is +8 years, I counsel women.

Top Rated Answers
December 1st, 2016 2:00pm
I understand this is a really difficult problem. And, in my opinion, it takes time. What I usually do when it's something very important, is I send them an email or a text formally stating a time and where I want to talk. Make sure they are free at that time. Example, 'Mom, I have something important that you need to know and be aware of, so please, let's have a conversation tomorrow at 7pm. In the living room. Thank you. I hope this helps :)
January 31st, 2017 10:04pm
Start the conversation with the words "I'd like to talk to you about something" and sit down with them. If you don't feel confident enough to share personal information with them, start with something small (i.e. something that happened in school). If they think they have something better to do than talking to you, arrange a "meeting" with them and ask them to take you seriously.
March 10th, 2017 8:46am
Write a letter to your parents. Sometimes they can overlook the things you are feeling because they deal with stressful things too! My dad told me to always write him a letter when I wanted to get something important across. He would do the same for me.
March 15th, 2017 6:38pm
Firstly, talk to them in a polite manner & find out from them why they're not listening to you. Try looking from their perspective, too, if possible. Once you know and understand their reasons you can then find a way to do something about it, hopefully. For instance, if it's due to a lack of trust (i.e. if they see you as immature) you can then do something to prove that you're mature (e.g. help out in the community etc., do things that make you seem like a mature person).
March 26th, 2017 8:56pm
Tell other family members about it and they might help your parents realise how you feel about being ignored by them.
April 8th, 2017 1:36am
Try writing them a letter, allow them to know in detail why it bothers you first appropriately and then express what it is you want them to listen to.
April 9th, 2017 1:47pm
You should try to assert yourself, try to explain the situation and don't back off from conflict. Be respectful, but firm. They want the best for you, but sometimes they are going to need a bit of help to figure it out.
April 12th, 2017 11:20pm
I recommend you sit down with your parents and communicate to them that you feel they don't listen to you. Feeling this way can very difficult, but you should also try to see things from their eyes, too. A conversation with them may help you understand why they act like they do, and help them to understand the ways in which you feel they are lacking.
April 19th, 2017 5:34pm
Sometimes it can feel like your parents are not listening when you have problems. It is always best to talk very honestly and let your mum or dad know that you feel this way as its very often the case they do not know how it is affecting you.
April 28th, 2017 6:11am
Assess the message you're wanting to convey and how it's being delivered. Make changes if necessary and remember to stay calm, clear, and keep control over your emotions. Getting people to listen to you has a lot to do with the right timing.
April 28th, 2017 8:49am
Confront them and explain how you feel about them and there not seeming to listen. Figure out what is on your mind tell them and listen to their response also see if there is something on their mind as well.
May 12th, 2017 4:41am
I felt for a long time that my parents didn't listen to me. It took most of my childhood for me to learn to talk to my parents like actual people, and as with most other circumstances in life, the best way to be understood is to first be understanding. Parents are worried sick about their children for most of their lives, and while some parents are better than others at managing this worry, that is the place that most of any perceived unfairness comes from. When I learned to listen to my parents (not to obey, necessarily, but just to listen,) I started to realize that they really did love me, and while they may get tired or frustrated or simply misunderstand me at times, almost everything they did came from a place of love. If you are patient and open with your parents, even when it seems like they are not listening to you or respecting you, slowly they will begin to treat you like the adult you are becoming. In a lot of ways, that's what becoming an adult is, I think.
June 16th, 2017 12:35pm
It looks like you are currently facing some family problems. I think you should sit down with your parents and try to talk them in a polite way. That can help you solve every secret problems they may be hiding from you.
July 1st, 2017 8:38am
I know sometimes things can be hard but, you have to push through as strongly as you can. You should talk to your parents about this and tell them how you feel it will give you a more open relationship. Sometimes parents don't realize what damage they could potentially be causing their kids.0
July 2nd, 2017 2:56am
In my experience, you should write them a letter. A respectful, calm (but serious) toned letter. It should thoroughly explain what you are feeling and why you have frustration with them, but also be concise and respectful enough for your parents to respond to it in a rational, reasonable fashion. When you speak, it's very easy to get animated and upset. But when the words are on paper your parents have no choice but to listen to all you have to say before they can respond. Make sure you end it on a positive, loving note, too. Remind them you still love them despite the problems that are occurring.
July 6th, 2017 5:11pm
Parents not listening can be very frustrating and stressful. Try to explain yourself politely and clearly.
July 13th, 2017 5:37am
Sit them down and open up. It's the best way a child can do, break their wall down and show their vulnerability to their parents so they can see a side of you so emotional. It won't be so easy, but baby steps will get you through it!
July 13th, 2017 8:02am
I think you should really tell them how you feel, maybe sit them down and talk! If that doesn't work ask them for a therapist or try talking to someone you know would listen to you.
August 17th, 2017 9:03pm
Keep trying in a calm and sensible manner, do not lose your temper and try again if they don't listen the first or second time until you are heard but stay calm
November 21st, 2017 5:16pm
As silly as this may sound, ask them to listen to you. Ask your parents if they have some time to talk. If they insist on being busy, arrange a time when you are all free. Sit and talk to them about how you're feeling. Perhaps they will even give you an explanation as to why they aren't listening etc.
November 22nd, 2017 11:17am
Remember your outcome. How are you wanting your parents to respond? If it is not working you may have to devise a different plan. Learn to be an active listener to yourself and then to others, including your parents. And I changed my wording. So instead of "my parents don't listen to me" I now say "oh my parents just didn't understand or "get" what I was trying to tell them. Remember that change always has to first start with you.
November 25th, 2017 5:50am
It is important to reach out to parents and tell them that you would like to have a conversation with them. Tell them that you would like to openly express how you are feeling and would like for them to respect your feelings and listen. If a mutual respect and expectation for the conversation is established it will be easier to have a good conversation with them.
December 6th, 2017 5:01pm
You should approach your parents calmly about what is concerning you. Tell them that what you want to talk about is very concerning to you and that you want their input on your life, and that you want them to listen to what you have to say.
December 20th, 2017 10:07am
Try to find a way to make them listen or find someone that can get them to listen. It really depends what you're trying to get them to listen about.
January 12th, 2018 10:06pm
People often feel others aren’t listening, especially those in parenting roles. Frustration can come from this and make you act more irrationally than usual. Approach them at a time when neither of you are upset and make this deal with them: I will listen to you if you will return the favor. Many times, your parents need to be heard too.
May 10th, 2018 3:05am
Try communicating this need to be heard to them, or talk to a trusted source that will help you communicate with them and make them listen. Find a common and open topic to start the conversation.
May 23rd, 2018 7:51pm
if your parents don't listen to you when your talking to them about your issue, find a time when their attention is on you and only. I know that maybe sometimes its hard for their attention to be only on you, since everyone has busy lives but if there happens to be a gap, try talking about how you feel. I know most people say this but try make them understand, that sometimes you want them to listen to you. don't raise your voice, just stay calm and your message may get through to them. Good Luck!
May 24th, 2018 10:05pm
if your parents don't listen to you, you may need to relate to them as though you are a friend instead of just your parents. tell them you not only love them as a parent but as a friend. the door may open to more love then you ever expected
May 27th, 2018 3:06pm
Remember- a healthy relationship with anyone is all about communication. Sit them down one day and tell them how you feel. If things get out of hand, let them know that's not what you wanted.
June 6th, 2018 1:35pm
It's really frustrating to feel a disconnect between yourself and your parents, and lots of people experience this frustration at least once in their lives. However, by identifying this frustration you can start to improve the communication. Perhaps it would help to put yourself in their shoes and think about why they are responding the way they are, could you phrase what you want to say in a different way so they can connect to it differently? Another way is to be upfront and explain that you feel that they aren't hearing what you are saying, and it hurts your feelings because you value their feedback and encouragement. If you aren't comfortable with saying this out loud, a letter could be a great place to start or even a text message. I hope this helps!