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My parents don't listen to me, what should I do?

201 Answers
Last Updated: 11/11/2020 at 9:50am
1 Tip to Feel Better
Turkey
Moderated by

Caglagul Turhan, Msc

Art Therapist

I believe that being aware of who a person is, will help to make the life better. I help children, adolesences, adults and parents for understanding themselves

Top Rated Answers
Wittie96
March 17th, 2019 3:38pm
In my experience one of the best things you can do is try to have a sitdown conversation with both parents in the room. Explain to them how you are feeling and what they’re doing that is making you feel that way. sometimes as parents we tend to forget that our children are growing up and we need to listen to them. They might not even realize it they are making you feel unheard. Then sit back and listen to what they have to say. It can be hard to truly listen without trying to think of something to say, but when you do then you’ll figure out why they are acting the way they are. Hopefully this helps.
SouthernPeach06
June 8th, 2019 12:21pm
I have the exact same problem with my dad. He doesn’t know what it means to listen. He’s deaf to everything I try to say to him. It’s difficult and extremely frustrating, because he doesn’t care about what I think or what I have to say. You just have to keep on fighting, as cliche as it sounds. If you continue voicing your beliefs and opinions, they’ll eventually come around. Ultimately what you have to realize is that you are not your parent. You love them and support them, but you’re not them. You have your own beliefs, opinions, dreams, passions, etc. You are your own person, and that’s wonderful. It’s okay not to be an identical clone of your parent. You just have to learn to live out your true self, who you are deep down inside.
vroomvrooom
July 18th, 2019 10:04am
Try figuring out why they don't listen to you. There can be many reasons for that. Communication is a two way process. Perhaps you don't listen to them as they want you to? Perhaps they consider you way too young, immature to even value your advice? Perhaps you are too dependent on them to be considered seriously? Sometimes, its just a matter of time and as you accomplish stuff in life, to be taken seriously. It can even be the tone of communication which can put off people. Having a self analysis on what you wish to communicate and how you are getting it communicated will help a lot in getting the desired response :)
wishfulsky
August 3rd, 2019 11:45pm
I've been there. It depends on what they are ignoring you about, but that can be frustrating. Being heard is a big part of feeling validated and reassured and is part of human nature. It's tough to feel as though you are not being heard, but they will listen eventually. It all depends on how you approach your parents. Whether it's your identity that you want respect for or going out with your friends for the weekend, parent's support can go a long way. You should just try to keep pursuing, everybody will eventually listen to you, but they may not always agree.
kindDaisy278
October 18th, 2019 12:29am
Think about why they might not listen to you. Think about what behavior you do makes them feel like they shouldn't listen to you. Talk to your parents about it. They will be able to help you, and they will be able to explain to you their side of the story. Maybe you don't see the same thing they are seeing. They most likely don't realize that they might be hurting your feelings. This happens quite often, with many many families. All you need to do is talk to your parents about it, and I promise, it will be ok.
Luminescentknight
October 20th, 2019 6:27am
Well it depends on a person's situation mostly and upon how your relationship has been with your parents so far. Well this problem is which almost every teen experiences. Some experience less but some experience more. If they're not listening to you for just small things, I think it's not a cause of worry but if they're not at all listening then what I personally feel about this is that your parents have trust issues with you. So I suggest that try to convince them for the Good. Bring back the trust in your relationship because giving up on relationship with your parents always doesn't bring the best for you. Even if you feel that your parents aren't doing good parenting, I feel you should openly talk to them about it and with full patience. Talk in a convincing tone. If they talk about how they feel about you, accept it and try to make changes in yourself too..
bubblingBlossom7024
January 10th, 2020 9:38pm
it depends on several factors, but probably they don't listen to you, because they do not treat you as an adult and mature person, and they think that you are immature yet. if you feel that you old enough to express your opinion and give your point of view, so others like your parents should pay attention, I think you should convince them that you are mindful and independent enough, financial independence is also important in this case. this is most likely bcs of these, ofc there are may be other factors like may be they want to protect you, etc
kingy1994
January 11th, 2020 11:47pm
Your parents are your life and as much as you think they don't listen, they will in their own way. They will be proud of you, even if you don't think so. Communication is the first way of making them proud. Speak to them and they will listen. Take each day at a time. With each day they will listen more and eventually, they will allow you to talk before they speak and when this happens, they will tell you that they are proud of you. One step at a time is all it takes. They will always be proud!
Anonymous
January 15th, 2020 5:01pm
People we love have the power to hurt us and sometimes we can't help it especially when it involves our parents. I'll try to find out why they don't listen to me and talk to them. Try to make them aware of this slight on their part it may have been unintentional. If it was intentional I'll ask questions and try to understand why they got to the point where they don't listen to me. Then we proceed to work it out together compromising and understanding each other. Bearing in mind that I am as important as they are.
Anonymous
February 1st, 2020 1:50am
i guess it depends on why they don't listen to you and your situation, but from my perspective, you can't make them do anything. they are your parents for a reason. but maybe the first step is to try to listen to them first and see their point of view and then say how you feel and go from there. and depending on what you want them to hear you about, discuss with them about why they feel a certain way and try to come to a conclusion that works for the both of you. if you have stubborn parents and they don't want to listen at all. all you have to do is think of ways to make them listen. ask them questions about things they would listen to you about and make them question why they wont listen to you for the other things you want their support and approval of.
Shikaa
April 3rd, 2020 8:11pm
I would suggest writing them a letter or emailing them about how you feel. Not about the content of what you want to talk about, but try to let them know that you want to be heard. Let them know that you want to be able to talk to them and ask them if there is any way that they would like the communication to take place. This will help them know that you want to talk to them and will help you to understand how they expect you to converse with them if they are not ready to have conversations in the traditional way.
Anonymous
May 1st, 2020 8:16am
i understand how you might feel in this situation. there have been times in my life where i have felt alone also. you know you better than anyone and you should follow your heart and discuss with your parents how you might be feeling. they might understand and take what you are saying seriously if you sit them down and have a talk with them face-to-face about your problem. if you have any other questions, contact a 7cups listener for a chat with a helper to get you through a tough time and help understand and place your feelings.
Lunasol27
May 28th, 2020 6:36am
Ways to get your parents to really listen to you. Is to approach them at the right times. Many time Timing is everything. Use 'I' statements so they know your serious about what you would like to discuss with them. You can also do The 'no pressure' approach to communication can work really well. You can also try some active listening. If you want your parents/carers to listen to you, you kind of have to listen to them also because communication is key. If the talk isn't going as planned you can always take a discussion break and try again when you all have more time to discuss your situation.
Anonymous
June 4th, 2020 6:03pm
Most of the parents find their kids 'not' mature enough to take major decisions or having opinions or certain topic. It is not right. But it is okay and understandable. They think they know what's best for their children. It all goes in a process, if you don't do anything so that your parents can trust you and listen to you, then they obviously don't. Discussing such things in a calm and peaceful mood is the ultimate key. But before entering the negotiation ring, make sure you are ready, and have arguments to offer. It will all go little by little, don't expect huge changes since the first time. And don't forget to always keep calm and understanding. Don't impose your ideas.
Anonymous
August 7th, 2020 10:04am
it can be so frustrating when your parents don’t listen to you. i don’t know all the details but if it’s only one subject they don’t listen to you about you could try saying it in a different way? however if you feel like your parents just don’t list to you at all you could try telling them that they are doing this as well as how it made you feel. i hope everything goes well and please remember you are loved and deserve to be heard. if you need to talk to someone more then i’d suggest you talk to a listener :)
Anonymous
August 8th, 2020 1:46am
The best way to have your parents to listen to you is for you to show responsibility and accountability. Parents often assume that children are immature and irrational and no sense of commitment. They assume that we won't be able to achieve goals or perform a task correctly. By showing them that we have enthusiasm, responsibility and accountability through our actions, it would be possible to portray that we would be able to help them rather than hinder them in whatever they want done. Giving them some time and space would also help in getting your parents to listen to you.
Anexmos
September 23rd, 2020 11:48am
Time it right. Timing is everything. Whether you’re after some emotional support or the latest iPhone, you’ve got to time it right. Tune into what’s going on in the family, and pick a time to talk when the olds aren’t stressed or distracted by other things. The ‘no pressure’ approach to communication can work really well. Here’s how you do it: ‘Hey, I wanted to talk to you about [your subject], but I don’t need an answer right now. I just want to put it out there for you to think about and get back to me when you’re ready.’
Anonymous
September 23rd, 2020 6:42pm
You should wait till they have some free time and are calm. Then step up to them, make sure they are not mad at you. Approach them calmly and tell them you want to talk, tell them you want to tell them something but they are not allowed to interrupt you. Give your little speech, make sure you are not yelling or crying but being serious. Parents don't take emotional teens serious. Make sure you have written down some points before, as you will probably forget something in the middle of speaking. Then when you are finished let them give their side. This will be a path to an agreement.
bubblegumPuppy68
October 25th, 2020 2:46am
One thing you might try is to sit down and write them a letter explaining the issues you are experiencing in a noncritical or judging way. Put your sentences in the form of I feel statements and put it in an envelope and mail it to them or leave it where they can see it. This may help to open up the line of communications. You can ask them why it is that they will not listen to you, and if they give you a reason be willing to adjust and make the change they are requesting. As a parent myself sometimes I turn a death ear when I know the child is feeding me a bunch of crap. But I still let them tell their story. Ask if there is something you can do to make communicating and being listened to more I hope this works for you, not being listened to is a very hard place to be.
beautifulFlower8404
October 29th, 2020 8:25pm
I felt the same way growing up. As I got older I realized my Parents cared about me a lot but had a lot on their minds. What do you think the best way is to approach them so you can feel heard? Have you tried sitting down with them and discussing how you feel about this and asking for their help in resolving the situation. I have found it helps to use I statements as in "I feel_______ rather than you statements. I statements make most people less defensive. I wish you luck and I am sure you can figure things out as you know them best
Anonymous
November 11th, 2020 9:50am
Talk to them. Sit them down and have a conversation with them. I find it is always better to compromise instead of arguing. Don't let your feelings stay bottled up and fester until you have a lot of issues. You should be as forward and honest as is possible with your parents. They are much more likely to listen to you and your worries if you sit them down and talk to them like adults. They will take you more seriously than if you were to throw a tantrum to get their attention. Always be honest, and just talk thing out.