My parents don't understand me. What should I do?
86 Answers
Last Updated: 01/17/2022 at 8:11am
Moderated by
Stacy Overton, PhD.
Counselor
I am an enthusiastic life-long learner and also a professor of counseling. I have a passion for peoples stories and helping to guide and empower the human spirit.
Top Rated Answers
How do they not understand you? talk to me about it and tell me everything that you feel about this situation. What have they done to make you feel this way?
Talk to temporarily. They were born at a time where there was no smartphone or Netflix which is basically our life. We can't expect them to be just like us.
Anonymous
January 17th, 2016 5:14am
Communicate. What is it they don't understand? Does it seem to be specific area or all quite general
No one can understand you better than yourself.
Try mindfulness and become aware of your feelings and sensations.
After becoming clear you will be able to express them properly.
Find someone who does. My parents don't understand where I'm quite coming from or the choices I make but I realized if they won't understand I'm sure someone else will. I know I can go to my aunt and uncle. Sometimes people don't understand us but If there are some don't then there will be some that do.
Anonymous
February 26th, 2016 11:37pm
Try and explain ? Corroborate with facts ? Accept that they might never truly understand since theysee the same things from a totally different perspective?
Try start a conversation with "I have to talk to you guys about something. Can you please let me speak my mind? You may not understand it, but try to see where I'm coming from."
Anonymous
January 23rd, 2016 10:13pm
You should tell them everything and tell them how you really feel . if they still don't understand you then you should ask someone like your siblings or friend to give you advice or ask them why are they doing it.
Anonymous
January 14th, 2016 11:13pm
Express what you're going through (writing, drawing) and show them because they probably don't think of it as a big deal.
Parents tend not to understand their children as they get older because the child is becoming more independent and wants to make their own choices while the parent continues to want to help protect them. The best solution to this is to keep an open dialogue. Most parents are not "stalking" you by asking questions about your life, but genuinely interested. Speak to them while you are not feeling a strong emotion, discuss calmly the things that are needed to be discussed.
They probably understand you more than you think, but maybe there are certain aspects that they don't understand. Ask them if you can have a weekly family meeting to discuss your differences, likes and dislikes.
I suggest trying to have an honest conversation where you explain how you feel and try to help them understand you.
You need to open a line of communication. Express yourself in detail. Be receptive to constructive criticism.
You don't think your parents understand you? Why do you think that? Maybe you should try to interact with them more maybe go see a movie together or just talk when was the last time you actually talked with your mom
At first, let them know it. Even if sometimes you don't feel like they do, they care and they love you really really much. If you speak calmly and explain how you feel I'm sure they will listen to you and understand.
Anonymous
January 27th, 2016 1:41am
Try talking to a different adult. Maybe a teacher or school counselor? They understand more than you might think. It releases so much stress.
Try and tell them how you feel in any way that you can, a letter, recorded tape, a video, among others
Anonymous
January 22nd, 2016 9:55am
They understand you, they just don't want to show that because of a specific reason, but they are your parents just talk them and it might turn out that they understand
Talk to them! All parents understand their children. It's stressfull at times but you will slowly feel better if you talk to them.
Explain to them calmly yet firmly what it is you want them to know they can't understand if you haven't told them your issues
It is important to meet in the middle when it comes to parents and their children. You have to be brave and tell them what you need to tell them, family is there for essential support and they need to understand what is going on especially if it is important to the children. You need to face them and tell them what you are thinking and feeling, sometimes it requires a great amount of bravery.
It's good if you can sit them down and talk to them, tell them how you feel and how you would like them to treat and understand you better.
Try not to focus on what your parents think, but think more about what you want. In time they will understand you :)
Communication is key, Talking to your parents is the most important thing you can do. Keeping the conversation as asertive as possible. Don't get angry when they share their views. Sometimes when talking to your parents, the hardest thing is to accept their ideals. If you find that talking to them will not work, then try speaking to other family members about how you feel, grandparents, aunts, uncles or even siblings. Sometimes it is best that your parents hear from a more authorative figure than yourself to take you seriously. Just remember always keep your cool when talking to your parents about this stuff. Anger and frustration will just cause you to take steps in the wrong direction.
Nowadays, parent-child relationship seems to have a wall between them. Children felt their parents do not seems to understand them but we have to talk to them. Parents knows what is best for us. Approach them and explain. Communication is the answer to everything, let them hear your side and also they need to hear yours too. Always be honest to them and open so they could understand where are you coming from. Sometimes we felt like they will just get mad over something or with our decisions but it is not bad to ask for their guidance. Their opinions matters to us especially if we are minor and we are not yet ready to make bigger decisions. Our parents always got our back. So it is best to be transparent and honest, so they will have the chance to understand us more.
It's difficult dealing with this feeling of having parents that don't understand, or don't try to understand. I'm assuming that you have tried explaining to them, and that this isn't working - that isn't your fault. Sometimes parents don't really want to see something that may be wrong. Talk to a friend, or someone professional if possible. There will always be another person that understands, or can relate - it may not be a family member, but there will be someone. You are never alone.
Hey there, I hear you're feeling misunderstood and unacknowledged by your parents. It's difficult to experience such specially from loves ones, people we look upto in hopes that they will hear us, and consider what we have to say, how we feel and think.
It might help to reassure ourselves, that sometimes people seek to know and understand from their place, so it could help to be more open and understanding of their situation first, then putting across our feelings and thoughts politely yet firmly. Open communication and spending more quality time can be helpful too, considering it gives a chance to build a rapport. I hope you feel understood and supported, you deserve it! â¤
learn to understand yourself and embrace yourself regardless. sometimes parents struggle to relate to us due to them being raised in a different time as us. teach them about the things you love and dont get offended when they dont understand it after all they probably wont exposed to it or just have different taste to you. one thing i learnt is, as long as you understand you and are happy with you then that's all that matters. it takes time to understand yourself and it'll take them time to understand you, just stay loving, gentle and open.
You should try to set with them both and speak with polite way and tell them that you love to share everything in your life with thembut you scared because they don't understand you and tell them that you want their help and to know how to deal with you
Try talking to them calmly. Wait until they are ready to listen to what you have to say and then slowly and calmly explain what you need or want them to know.
Related Questions: My parents don't understand me. What should I do?
My father is having an extramarital affair. Part of me wants to end my relationship with him for cheating on my mom, but i worry that he will be depressed as he loves me a lot. How do I deal with this situation?How to connect a person online with a therapist?How can I make my family understand that I'm not seeking attention and just trying to get the help I need?What do I do if my father thinks I hate him even after I told him I don't?How do I tell my parents I don't want to go to church?What age is too young to leave home?How do I live with a mentally-ill parent?My dad likes to touch me. Is this sexual abuse?How do I deal with a religious family as an atheist?What do I do when my husband ignores me?