Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

My parents don't understand me. What should I do?

85 Answers
Last Updated: 09/15/2020 at 12:22pm
My parents don't understand me. What should I do?
1 Tip to Feel Better
Germany
Moderated by

Nathalie Dramis, Diploma

Counselor

Helping people is my passion. I believe that anyone can benefit from therapy and counseling. My approach is holistic and tailored to you and your specific needs.

Top Rated Answers
Anonymous
March 31st, 2016 3:45pm
It's hard for your parents to understand you because they are not you, they do not experience what you do everyday, maybe they need you to tell them how it's to be you! Teach them to understand you :)
Laramerveille
April 7th, 2016 8:23am
It depends on what's the case but in general if you feel like your parents really don't understand you at all, then let them know aobut your feelings. Sit and talk with them constructively and true to understand their point of view, it may seem annoying and boring but it's worth it!
lookathestars
April 7th, 2016 3:30pm
I suggest you to have a really long talk with them so you can let them know how you feel about them not understanding you.
Anonymous
April 9th, 2016 11:30pm
There are going to be a lot of times when your fathers are not going to understand you and it's ok. Everybody thinks different. Be patient and stay strong.
Anonymous
April 14th, 2016 11:58pm
You should sit with your parents and talk about why you feel this way. The solution can be found by simply addressing the problem at its core. If you feel they don't understand you, let them know and discuss why. Often a calm chat can be the solution to a larger issue.
lavieestbelle95
April 15th, 2016 4:04am
Sometimes being the closest people to us doesn't guarantee that they understand us. But maybe they understand you but you don't realise. Maybe they really don't. Maybe they understand you a bit but you don't realise at all. If they don't, and it disturbs you, maybe you need to spend more time with them. So they can get to know you more. But if that fact doesn't disturb you, then they don't need to understand you. Wish you all the best!
Anonymous
April 16th, 2016 7:42pm
Try to understand where they're coming from. Parents only wamt what's best for their kids, but sometimes they just don't know how to give it to them. So try to look at things from their perspective.
sunshineBubbles12
April 20th, 2016 2:28am
I suggest you give some space from yourself and your parents. Also try and reason with them, and listen to what they have to say.
Kay2134
April 20th, 2016 6:50pm
You could write then a letter/ email outlining your feelings and thoughts let them read it and ask them to speak to your afterwards. That way you can tell them all that you want to without interruption.
thisrideisawildone
April 21st, 2016 12:54pm
It's difficult dealing with this feeling of having parents that don't understand, or don't try to understand. I'm assuming that you have tried explaining to them, and that this isn't working - that isn't your fault. Sometimes parents don't really want to see something that may be wrong. Talk to a friend, or someone professional if possible. There will always be another person that understands, or can relate - it may not be a family member, but there will be someone. You are never alone.
RammyV
April 23rd, 2016 3:43am
I find that it’s always smart to listen to my parents’ viewpoint. Perhaps their opinion isn’t as far away from mine after all, and the disagreement might not be as big as I expected.
booklover1224
April 27th, 2016 3:59pm
That depends on what they don't understand. The main thing to do is to have a calm and rational discussion about it. Try not to get angry or use sarcasm. They aren't inside your head (unfortunately), but probably want to at least make an effort.
Anonymous
April 28th, 2016 11:02am
Parents always have different thoughts, you should remember that when you try to tell them about your needs.
presocratics
April 28th, 2016 5:30pm
Try to understand what is preventing them from understanding you. The best way to do this is to withhold your point-of-view on any given topic while expressing a genuine interest in understanding their point-of-view. You want to avoid what therapist's call an "impasse," which is what happens when two people fail to see each other's perspectives because they are too busy defending their own. If you can get to where you are able to fully understand your parents' perspective, you will likely feel that there is really no need to judge their perspective as either right or wrong, good or bad. This is what we want from others when we want them to understand us. Once you have accomplished this with your parents, it will be easier to see how you can express your perspective to them in terms that make sense to them.
neverendingSunrise99
April 29th, 2016 5:14pm
First of all, you need to realize that it's very normal and happens in every family. Discuss about it with your parents and explain them that they don't really understand you. AND...try to avoid conflicts with your parents.
Believe2016
May 8th, 2016 10:27pm
Talk to themand let them know how your feeling and why. Maybe even write them a letter about what your going through.
WhereTheSunflowersAre
May 11th, 2016 5:16am
It sounds like you're feeling like your parents don't notice you. Communicate openly with them so they can understand you better.
Anonymous
May 11th, 2016 9:04pm
When do you think they do not understand you? And what makes the difference all about? is that just you be on your terms or are they too conventional to accept your ideas? What ever the answers are to above questions, Did you talk to them clearly all that is in your mind? Did you try to understand what they are trying to tell you and then act accordingly?
majesticnutella03
May 13th, 2016 1:44am
You should talk to a therapist using 7cups.com!!! It's a great website full of people who want to help you.
gentleBeauty19
May 13th, 2016 7:05pm
Tell them to sit down talk and tell them how you feel because if not then they'll never understand
HappyMrMe
June 7th, 2016 5:08pm
Communication is key, Talking to your parents is the most important thing you can do. Keeping the conversation as asertive as possible. Don't get angry when they share their views. Sometimes when talking to your parents, the hardest thing is to accept their ideals. If you find that talking to them will not work, then try speaking to other family members about how you feel, grandparents, aunts, uncles or even siblings. Sometimes it is best that your parents hear from a more authorative figure than yourself to take you seriously. Just remember always keep your cool when talking to your parents about this stuff. Anger and frustration will just cause you to take steps in the wrong direction.
Bear303
June 7th, 2016 10:22pm
Well, I usually talk to others (such as my relatives or friends). They kind of replace my parents in a way. Not sure whether this is a good thing or not but hey, it works for me. Then, my relatives will usually be the one who talk to my parents about me and it all worked out in the end.
Anonymous
June 20th, 2016 12:06pm
Make your point clear to them and do it patiently. Calmly show them your perspective and show respect for their's too.
HappyListener28
July 11th, 2016 1:07am
Try not to focus on what your parents think, but think more about what you want. In time they will understand you :)
AmarahSofia
September 15th, 2020 12:22pm
Nowadays, parent-child relationship seems to have a wall between them. Children felt their parents do not seems to understand them but we have to talk to them. Parents knows what is best for us. Approach them and explain. Communication is the answer to everything, let them hear your side and also they need to hear yours too. Always be honest to them and open so they could understand where are you coming from. Sometimes we felt like they will just get mad over something or with our decisions but it is not bad to ask for their guidance. Their opinions matters to us especially if we are minor and we are not yet ready to make bigger decisions. Our parents always got our back. So it is best to be transparent and honest, so they will have the chance to understand us more.