Should I be upset at what my mom says?
Last Updated: 10/21/2019 at 6:26pm
Danielle Gonzales, PsyD
Hello! My name is Dani, I am a Psychologist and registered Psych Assistant. I have a passion for helping a different types of clients from all diverse backgrounds!
Top Rated Answers
In some cases yes you have every right to be upset, and in other cases no. I do not know the specifics here, but I still to this day get upset with things my mom says. However, she also is not saying the things she does to be mean or make me feel bad. I have a feeling your mom is the same. I have kids myself now and I understand why she said some of the things she did now that I have little ones of my own. Communication here is key. Sometimes using the wrong wording is all it takes to start an argument and for you to be upset. I always clarify with my mom if she says something that upset me, and usually she did not mean what she said the way it came out.
It depends on what she says. There is always two sides to every story. Tey to just think about why she might have said what she said, and really think about what you feel about what she said before you just get mad at her. Everyone has reasons for how they feel, just like everyone has reasons for what they said. Maybe try to talk to her calmly about what she said and how it made you feel. If you don't feel like you should talk to her, try telling someone else about what she said and how you feel. Then you could get them to talk to her if they are up to it, or you could talk to her together.
The relationships with parents and child are complex. I believe their is a natural want to please your parents. But sometimes you have to honor your discernment about the comments that come your way. Especially if they are hurtful, bias, or even bullying. The number one question I ask myself when I get unwanted criticism is " Is this person asking me to hurt myself? " or " Is this person speaking from a place of love?". Usually by asking those simple two questions I am able to discern wheather this person is really trying to help me and want the best for me. Or does this person just want to be heard or in controlling from a not so healthy place. Always remember your boundries. You have the right to not feel attacked. You have the right to walk away. You have the right to no subscribe and walk away.
Being upset is an emotional response. So in a sense it is out of your control. But what is in your control is how you chose to express that emotion or feeling. Since there is no context to this question, it is difficult to give a specific answer but, I will just say something general. Whatever we do, it is important to think over our thoughts, our reasons behind our impending actions, before we implement them. So if you must express this feeling, do so in a way that does not harm you, the parent or others involved .
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