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Should I cut a family member out of my life because she causes me so much stress?

27 Answers
Last Updated: 02/07/2022 at 6:45pm
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Top Rated Answers
January 10th, 2015 12:57am
A lot of people will offer advice in terms what you should or shouldn't do. Some may suggest family is everything while others will suggest otherwise. What I will suggest is that's purely your decision. Only you can weigh that choice because there will simply be too many variables in your life that no one here would grasp in a mere conversation. What I also will say is I am glad you're at least reaching out because it shows you're truly looking into your options. I hope you continue reaching out further because a professional, for example, would be able to hear your story, analyze your situation, and provide recommendations depending on the circumstances.
September 22nd, 2015 3:13pm
There’s times in certain situations when it may be best to develop some emotional distance from our relatives and with enough pain, sometimes even walk away from them and never look back. Everyone has a right to choose their own path and find their own peace.
May 2nd, 2015 4:54pm
Everybody has different views on this, but personally I think cutting someone out of your life is the best thing you can do, if you've tried everything and communication is not working. You don't even need to necessarily tell the person you're even cutting them off. And it doesn't have to be forever. You can reconnect with them one day in the future. But some of us are unlucky enough to be closely related to people who are very, very difficult to deal with. I think it's important to have periods in your life that are completely free of this stress. So don't feel guilty. Cutting people off can be temporary. Or it can be forever – you might find "No Contact" so peaceful that you never go back! But usually, taking that break for yourself makes you more able to appreciate that family member and reconnect with them later with a little more energy and patience.
August 1st, 2016 12:00pm
I don't think there is a need to cut family member out, just avoid them where necessary, and when you do meet, keep conversation to a limited comfort zone. Keep yourself composed and let them take their own stress.
December 5th, 2017 12:09am
If a family member, or any loved one, adds more negativity to your life than love or support then you can be very justified in cutting ties. Family is meant to be supportive, but if a family member puts you in distress or has a negative impact on your emotional/mental health then you need to make the choice that will cultivate the most health and positivity for you.
February 16th, 2015 6:47pm
No, family will always be there for you in the long run. For all you know she could be the one that puts your life back on track. Keep her and just tell her time to time that she is stressing you out.
August 18th, 2015 6:57am
Sometimes it's best to cut the bad people out of the picture. Do what you feel is right. If she is causing you stress and dragging you down, cut them off.
November 2nd, 2015 8:04am
Ultimately, that's something only you can decide upon. It's never nice or easy to just banish someone from your life, especially a relative - maybe limit the amount you see them, or speak with them about how they make you feel.
January 8th, 2018 3:32am
Maybe you should first approach them about this. Tell them that this stress is really bothering you, and that you want it to stop. If they don't listen to you and keep stressing you out then you can cut them out.
March 27th, 2015 1:45am
no I think stress will go away if you give up your family member what that gonna do I mean what if ever thing resolves itself then what will you do
May 9th, 2015 3:01pm
you should talk to them about it first. maybe they dont do it on purpose. family memebers dont come and go like friends
May 17th, 2015 8:49am
Of course not. Causing stress is no reason to cut out a family member out of your life because someday, they will come back to you and whatever negative action you've done to them will just haunt. The best action is just to avoid them as much as possible without cutting them out and if circumstances still throw them at you, you should manage them the way you manage to feed yourself. Simple.
June 30th, 2015 12:57am
NOO, never do that just take deep breaths and just be lucky you have that person in your life. if its or mother/farther/brother/sister there all gonna give you streesss
August 18th, 2015 9:05am
Honestly it depends on why they cause you stress. Have you ever told them that they cause you this? It could be just they don't understand what your current situation is. And think if you were in their shoes, would you want someone who you probably love cut you out of the family without a reason?
August 25th, 2015 8:01pm
It can be wise to begin separating yourself a little. If they're placing stress about things that are out of your control, it can unhealthy and can easily overwhelm you. See if less contact makes the stress lessen. If nothing changes, consider some time away from him/her. You need to take care of yourself too
October 26th, 2015 12:23am
I know exactly how you feel. Family is power however, it is important to think about yourself and your needs. Family is hard to deal with because we feel as though there is an obligation to keep them in the loop and in our lives however if the relationship seems too venomous to keep around, you should let that person find their way separate from yourself.
Anonymous - Expert in Family Stress
November 12th, 2015 10:01am
Don't isolate yourself completely from this person, simply disconnect and only respond to them when you're in a stable headspace. Your health comes first, and if you cannot find a solution around this issue, then it will be necessary to remove yourself from this negative environment.
November 23rd, 2015 10:42am
How close are you with this person? If you have to see them often, I would suggest a civil, and proper break of communication, in which you can still act friendly towards each other. Otherwise, I would say yes. You do you! Always! You are #1!
November 24th, 2015 10:38am
Essentially. If someone's attitude/behaviour is damaging to you in any way, shape or form and they won't change it, then you have the right to cut them out.
January 5th, 2016 12:59pm
No, talk to them. Tell her that she causes you stress and makes you feel a certain type of way; if they respond negatively that is her issue. You should always seek peace with yourself and expressing your feelings achieves exactly that; cutting her out only adds stress and strain as well as awkward family dinners or reunions.
January 14th, 2016 11:13pm
As of now, I know exactly how this feels. And yes, ultimately, it is your decision. My father has always told me spending time with family is important, especially if you don't see them very often. But cutting someone, particularly a family member, out of your life is a big decision and only yours to make. I don't want to go to far, but since this is up, I'll add some other things. I want to cut my mother out of my life. Why? She has caused me enormous amount of pain, pressure, and stress in my life. She always did things the wrong way and she never sees it for herself what she is doing is wrong. And she's a bomb of negativity. As of now, I'm 19 years old, and my family who supports me, tells me I can make my own choices and decisions. I've always struggled to make my own choices because my mother was constantly there. So even now, I'm struggling to make my own choices. And the hard part was the fact my father told me I should never hate my mother and make a form of a relationship with her. And as of a few months ago, I have every reason to not see her because she makes my depression worse. So, I'm making this choice of cutting her out of my life. She has not done anything to make me happy or even apologized to me, not once. But this choice, especially for anyone, can be hard. If you REALLY think that this family member is causing so much stress and is making your life somehow miserable, then you can make the choice of cutting them from your life. But remember, this is YOUR choice and no one else has any right to tell you otherwise. If you think it's for the best. However, if that is not the case, than I highly suggest either talking to them about how you feel or just simply ignore them, That goes for anyone that is having problems and wants to cut a family member or others from their lives. I'll say it as many times as possible... IT'S YOUR CHOICE.
February 29th, 2016 1:50pm
the best thing to do is to talk to your family member and try to solve the issues to avoid being stressed
November 1st, 2016 10:43am
Its up to the individual. People may shame you for doing it but ultimately you have to do whats right for you and if that means cutting out a family member, be it permanently or just for a little while, thats totally ok.
July 11th, 2017 8:49am
First of all, you have to be sure of that decision. Of course, I totally support cutting off toxic people from our lives, but we have to be sure that they realize they harm us, talk to them, try to understand the reasons. Because sometimes our loved ones don't even realize when they hurt us.
October 30th, 2017 6:12am
In my experience, communication is key. Let them know about how they're causing you stress, see if changes are made. If not, and the stress continues, keep your distance but cutting them out of your life could mean regret in the future. You only have one life, one family and if you cut that person out of your life, once they're gone, you'll regret lost time and precious moments.
March 6th, 2018 6:30pm
You should never truly cut someone out of your life. If they cause you stress you should let them know, or try to prevent the stress by predicting it.
February 7th, 2022 6:45pm
If you feel there is no other option then yes. It could be better to try and talk to her and see if there is a way to fix it, depending on the situation, it also depends on if it is safe to do so. If you aren't safe its best to go to an authority figure such as the police or the fire department, close and trusted friends could help as well. if you really think that cutting her off is the best solution and that it's safest both for your physical health and your mental and emotional, then that may be the best decision.