Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

What do I do if my father thinks I hate him even after I told him I don't?

221 Answers
Last Updated: 12/12/2021 at 10:05am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Strauss, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.

Top Rated Answers
September 23rd, 2016 6:48am
Start doing things he likes so it shows you want to be around him. Like ask to go fishing is he likes fishing or maybe he likes riding bikes, Drawing, photography. Hey maybe you'll even get a favorite new hobby!
September 25th, 2016 12:17am
I try to make him understand that I love him by acting. I plan something for the both of us, like going to a picnic, or maybe going to somewhere we both like. I'll make him a letter telling him how much I love him and how thankful I am for him.
October 5th, 2016 4:11am
You cannot control what other people feel or think. You cannot change it or affect it, hard as you might; only we change our own thoughts, only we change our own pereptions of the world. You have done what you can. For now, you can continue to just be there for him in small supportive ways, like sending a "I was just thinking about you" message now and then or offering to help out with little things like groceries. Just being a good, supportive influence is all you can do. If that does not work, you can decide for yourself if it's still best for your well-being to continue being supportive to an unreceptive influence, but it's okay if you want to keep being supportive even if he doesn't believe it. :) You do what's best for your own well-being. We can only hope that other people do what's best for theirs, like acknowledging when people love them.
October 5th, 2016 11:46pm
Try to show him that you don't. Spend time with him, make him cards or gifts on birthdays/Christmas/fathers day. Prove to him that you don't and he should come around.
October 6th, 2016 4:00pm
Spend more time with him and try to do the things he likes, like watching his favorite show together
October 6th, 2016 5:56pm
Sometimes actions can speak louder than words. Maybe you should do something to try and prove to your father that you still care about him, like asking about his day or offering to have dinner with him.
October 26th, 2016 4:29pm
Maybe he just feel that he's not connected to you closely.Try spending as much time you can with him and make him feel he's special. Try talking about your feelings about him.
October 28th, 2016 1:02am
Show through kindness that you don't, try hanging out with him. In the end though, you can't directly change his beliefs and you may just have to deal with whatever he chooses to believe.
October 28th, 2016 6:32pm
Actions speak louder than words - speak to him kindly, offer help in his day-to-day or projects, offer genuine praise when it's fitting, ask him about his day, make him personalized gifts that show that you know his needs and care about his comfort, well- being and good spirits
October 29th, 2016 8:53pm
Actions speak louder than words. Show him and go out of your way if necessary to "prove it". That being said, I wouldn't focus your attention solely on how to make him happy and focus on what makes you happy. His actions should not dictate your behaviour.
October 30th, 2016 5:09pm
Maybe you can talk to him some more. Just ask why he thinks you hate him and make your point clear. Talking helps a lot!
November 2nd, 2016 9:04pm
Try and talk to him again and really show him you don't, maybe if he feels you mean it. I'm sure he'll see it
November 4th, 2016 4:42am
Don't stop telling him that you love him but SHOW him that you do. Actions speak louder than words :)
November 22nd, 2016 3:35am
Prove to your father that you do not dislike him. I believe that hate is a very strong word. You should spend more time with him and do activities with him go places with him. Tell him that you love him and that you care about him
December 3rd, 2016 9:26am
Sometimes actions are stronger than words. Spending time with a parent or engaging in activities you enjoy with them make them feel loved. Try to include him in your daily life and tell him about the small details. He will definitely appreciate it in the long run, even though it seems insignificant to you.
December 17th, 2016 10:01pm
Show him that you don't hold animosity towards him by spending time with him if you're able to or by talking through the reasons he thinks you dislike him, explaining your previous actions and asking for explanations of his if this becomes possible and appropriate.
January 8th, 2017 7:04am
Sometimes actions speak louder than words. It's the little actions we do that can show the person we love them. For some people, words don't mean much.
February 26th, 2017 1:36pm
It is possible your father is the type of personality to self pity. It is also possible he is trying to be manipulative by making you feel like you hate him unless you do or say what he wants. However, it is also possible he is just very sensitive and doesn't realize the truth. If that's the case, just give him some more time and don't do anything unfair to him. If you are not sure whether your father is being manipulative or not, a good book to read is Toxic Parents by Susan Forward. If he turns out not to be toxic, then there's no harm done.
February 26th, 2017 2:48pm
Keep assuring him that you don't- and show it! It isn't easy, it never is, but be patient, understanding, and compassionate. Spend time with him, talk with him, and bond with him. Try to see his side of things, and talk about it. It may take a lot of time, but you're family, and you should be there for each other through the good and the bad. :)
March 4th, 2017 2:20pm
Love is spoken louder in actions than words. Show him you love him. If someone told you they don't hate you and proceeded to punch you in the face on a daily basis, which message are you more likely to believe? The words spoken or the punch felt? Let your actions shine.
March 30th, 2017 11:24pm
Give him time. Do things he loves to do. Help him with his meds.. let him know that u know about and care for his feelings and that you love him..
April 12th, 2017 9:33pm
Actions speak louder than words. Do some chores for him and write a card. The more you do for him, the more he will realize you really do care.
April 15th, 2017 7:58pm
Let time and your behavior show him you don't. If he continues to think like this, gently explain it is not true. Prove him wrong. If after all Your efforts he still can't understand it, maybe it's not up to you to open his eyes.
April 16th, 2017 10:37pm
You need to talk and sit with him and have a conversation, because as long as you two hold a wall between, things are only going to get worse because he is thinking the problem from his perspective and you are thinking about it on your own way because you two have different interpretations and therefore need to have a good communication to solve the problem. Be the listener and let your father tell what and why he thinks and then you can explain the situation that happened from your point of view. Its important for your father to know that you deeply dont hold any hate against him because it can affect him negatively.
April 23rd, 2017 11:12am
You cannot change what people think. Make sure when you tell him that what he is thinking is not true, be sure to be sincere. If he still believes that you hate him unfortunately you cannot change that.
May 3rd, 2017 11:53am
It all depends on the circumstance- does he have other children that are resentful towards him? It could also mean that he feels he did something that could cause resentment on your end towards him. You can't change your father's thoughts or actions because, sadly, he is an adult. Your best bet is to just treat him as a normal human being. Sometimes sympathy and compassion for human life can change a person for the best.
May 7th, 2017 2:44am
It must be something you are doing or saying to make him feel differently. Try being more genuine with your emotions
May 17th, 2017 12:36am
Ask him how his day was everyday, maybe close your phone and sit with him for a few minutes, ask for some life advice. Or staright up go like" dad I get the feeling you think I hate you, I really don't. I'm sorry if my attitude has been bad towards you lately, i'm sorry, love you"
June 4th, 2017 1:23pm
I understand that this can be difficult to handle and may seem impossible at times, but it is not. Often such misunderstandings occur due to lack of effective communication. So maybe communicating the message effectively needs to be done. Also, one can provide constant and unconditional love and concern for one's father. This will help him see that no matter what my child is there and will be there, and so may begin to question his negative thoughts.
June 14th, 2017 3:24am
It's tough to convince people otherwise especially when they already made up their minds on the subject. In your case, it may help to prove that you don't hate him through your actions. Maybe do something out of the ordinary? In the day-to-day, I'd watch my facial expression/bodily gesture in such a way that they convey you are there for him, until trusts is built. All the best.