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What do I do if my father thinks I hate him even after I told him I don't?

221 Answers
Last Updated: 12/12/2021 at 10:05am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
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Melissa Strauss, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

I am client focused and believe everyone has a strength. I feel confident in seeing clients with generalized and social anxiety, depression and relational goals.

Top Rated Answers
naturalTime95
April 14th, 2018 5:49pm
If your father doesn’t believe what you’ve said, steps should be taken to see why he thinks you don’t like him, and once that is established you should try to see what steps you can take to move forward.
Anonymous
April 28th, 2018 7:37pm
Many times as a parent you try very very hard to be right there for your children and many times when they see their son or daughter in trouble and they can't seem to figure you out as to why you cannot open up to them automatically as a parent you seem to think we did something wrong why? Simply because as a parent raising the children's youth have gone through everything together from changing your diaper to feeding you to putting you to bed to listening to you when you are scared coming to your aid for new phone protecting you from anybody who tries to hurt you so when a son or daughter hide things that are troubling them. and is a parent we always want to be right there to protect our children answer their questions as best as they possibly can no matter how embarrassing it may be for a parent to hear their kids talk. As children become adults and parents have not yet learned to accept that their children are no longer children but adults now. And always want to do things for our children for their best interest so yes it's easy for apparent to say you hate me or may have assumed that a child hates his parents because once again a child is not opening up to them just like when they were very young
Annjia
May 4th, 2018 11:18pm
I have learned that actions often speak louder than words. Doing something considerate like buying his favorite chocolate while on a shopping tour with friends says 'I love you.' more than the words themselves. It shows that I think about him. That he is on my mind. Love does not have to vocalized, expensive or time-consuming. It's the little thinks that matter.
Anonymous
May 7th, 2018 3:02am
Actions speak louder that words. Show him that you don't really hate him. Take care for him or show that you love him.
Anonymous
May 9th, 2018 3:53pm
Ask your father if you can talk to him, and take a seat and begin talking about why he feels like you hate him, and that you don't. To convince him that you really don't hate him, a hug or two would be great. Create physical contact and show him - through your actions - that you mean what you say.
PurpleStormclouds
May 9th, 2018 6:07pm
There's honestly nothing much you can do about it except to keep telling him. Keep telling him and do small things to remind home everyday.
Anonymous
May 11th, 2018 10:09pm
With every action, express your love, because love is shown in the simple things, for example “buckle your seatbelt” “have you ate?” Etc etc just show him you’re there, that you care enough for him and you love him
OnlyBlack22
May 12th, 2018 3:11am
keep repeating it over and over, show him that you do by your actions, the small gestures, notice the things he likes and dislikes the greater the care the easier for him to believe you :)
astrosballad
May 18th, 2018 5:45pm
Show him. You can try to talk to him to see why he thinks you hate him, and help prove to him you don't.
positiveForever73
May 23rd, 2018 5:30am
Hmmm, I have actually had this issue. Just do small things to remind him that you care. Get him a favorite candy bar, or something small sometime. Write a card, do things that are appropriate from you to him. Sometimes people need reminders. On the other side, make sure you keep the relationship healthy, and make sure that you are also getting the love back you need too.
PuckisaDuck
May 31st, 2018 7:12pm
I'd say you show him signs of gratitude, and just be nice to him. Have you tried asking him why he thinks so? I think it's best to just talk it out.
Anonymous
June 1st, 2018 6:45pm
I'm sorry that this is happening... ♡ Maybe trying to show him by surprising him or doing things for him... I know it's not easy, but you've got this. Try to show him by your actions that you love him. Try to do everything he asked you too.
Sken24
June 2nd, 2018 3:46am
If your father still thinks you hate him after being told otherwise, then it is best to let him have his own thoughts. You are not responsible for changing other people's idea's and thoughts, it is solely their responsibility for how they feel and think.
Anonymous
June 11th, 2018 7:08pm
It’s the little things that count. Spend quality time with your father and make an effort. Relationships aren’t repaired overnight.
GuardianKnight
June 14th, 2018 6:29pm
Sometimes words are not enough for people, try to show it to him through actions. They can be samll such as sending him a good morning text, or bigger by preparing dinner or spending time with him. People can need reassurement that they aren't bad, we all make mistakes but we amend them.
Anonymous
June 21st, 2018 4:20am
Show it to him. Take care for him. He has has done so many things for you. It is time for you to show, don't just tell him. Appreciate his small petty things. Be thankful to everything he does for you and every single thing he did for you. Spend more time with him. Celebrate small things in life with him. I know you love him but show him. He deserves this!
Anonymous
June 24th, 2018 8:38pm
You are the expert on you. I know it's hard, there was a time in life I thought a family member of mine did too, and getting the message across to that family member effectively varies per person.
Anonymous
June 27th, 2018 12:52am
Many people's insecurities come from their own. I would recommend sitting down with him and possibly a trained professional and trying to work this issue out
Anonymous
June 27th, 2018 4:12pm
Offer to go somewhere with him or do something with him. Until you show that you don’t hate him, he’ll never know
Brighter19
June 29th, 2018 7:09am
I believe in exertion . Telling him is just a talk .Exert to show him how much love you have for your father
blueVase149
June 29th, 2018 7:35am
Tell him again! Some people need to be told things twice :) Yes bad joke i know but it's true. Tell him again. A nice thing you hear can be just disregardet as "politeness" or "a formality" but if you tell him often I think it will work. Adding nice kind deeps whould surely help too.
colourfulWhisper37
July 7th, 2018 6:01am
Try to do something that make your father realize that you loves him. Because action speaks louder than words.
Xy224
July 11th, 2018 5:13pm
You may show him in deed. Help him out, hug him sometimes. And then tell him again that you don't hate him. Maybe if you can put the love word in the sentence it'll make him know.
Anonymous
July 18th, 2018 10:06pm
In healthy communication in relationships, we are only responsible for our 50% of the communication. If you have communicated your needs and feelings in a healthy way, but your father continues to accuse or project onto you, then perhaps one option is to evaluate other reasons for his behavior, including emotional manipulation. In any event, it is not your responsibility to take on his guilt or take care of his emotions for him.
ElaineSaysHello
July 19th, 2018 5:30am
Try to make him breakfast or offer to help him out more around the house, maybe? :) Or you can make him a handmade gift!
heartfulPower23
August 10th, 2018 4:46am
sometime's it happens in every teenager's life father tend to think in a negative way ,so the reason why he thinks you hate her,because you might be harh to him,may be you are not doing things according to his ways and this made him feel that you are hating him,the reason could be anything ,so you should try to be more polite with him and always pay more attention towards him.
Anonymous
August 11th, 2018 4:33pm
Any number of things could make someone feel disliked. It could be something you did without knowing or something he has done and regrets it. There are a lot of possibilities, the only thing that should be taken away from anyone is do what you think is right.
lighthouse44
August 11th, 2018 4:39pm
You could try to figure out why he thinks this - maybe by asking another family member? A good way to communicate is by letter so you could try sending him a kind letter (rather than email) with your thoughts. Eventually, if he still won't listen, it may be time to let go and allow him to find answers in his own time. This is painful but you can't change someone else's mind, only your own attitude towards the situation and how you respond. It may be that some space and distance is the most compassionate way to deal with this, if other methods don't work. If he has is own issues to deal with, then it may not be about you at all, so taking this on can become a burden which is not yours to carry. Good luck.
Anonymous
August 19th, 2018 11:20am
You can start by compliments him at random times or surprising him with things he like and most of all spent time with him talking about stuff
Anonymous
September 5th, 2018 1:49pm
let your actions tell that you love him, do something special for him to make him happy, always remind him how you`re grateful that he`s your father make him feels how important he is to you. actions speak louder so you have to drop any attitude that makes him feel hated. communicate with him a lot that will make him feel wanted and valuable. Try and spend some quality time with him, doing something you both enjoy. Act genuine so he knows you care. Make him feel valid and tell him that you love him. But try not to make it seem over exaggerated and like your faking it.