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What do I do when my husband ignores me?

161 Answers
Last Updated: 12/05/2020 at 3:26am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
allnaturalUnicorns70
July 7th, 2016 6:24pm
There are lots of ways of dealing with it. You can fight him or demand attention (not usually effective). You can try and understand why he is ignoring you (what's going on in his mind or his life, what is he feeling). You can come straight to him and try and speak in a compassionate way and bring your concern to his attention. Another option is to just be polite to him and live life as best as you can without his attention.
Anonymous
November 15th, 2016 7:07pm
I know its hard to do, but I think the best thing we can do when our close ones can't or don't give us the attention we need is to give ourselves that attention. I faced considerable neglect in my long distance relationship. Eventually the only way I could handle it was by dropping my expectations entirely and putting myself first. I felt more free knowing that I was not waiting for someone all the time and not depending on them to get through the day. I went on to give myself what I needed, found other ways to keep myself busy and interested in things. It might not work for every relationship in a good way, but it might for you yourself. Or who knows, maybe your husband or partner will notice and begin to appreciate the new, self-sufficient, self-satisfied YOU even more than before.
Anonymous
November 22nd, 2017 6:38pm
Let him be and do the same
CallMeAlex
June 6th, 2018 12:00pm
Keep the conversation open, talk to him, explain your feelings, communicate, that is the most important thing to do.
plushUnicorn4912
June 25th, 2020 8:33am
If your husband ignores you, you need to find time in both your agenda to sit down and talk about the issue. Most importantly, you need to tell him that you're feeling ignored and why it affects you. Rather than yelling, tell him about your frustrations, sadness and anger. Then, ask him why it seems he is acting that way. It is important that he understands you but also that you understand him. While trying to understand him, it is primordial to take in account his point of view rather than getting upset about how it makes you feel so he also feels listen to. After that, you can take in account all the detail and try and find a solution.
Greatlistener87
April 8th, 2016 6:39am
Talk things out and find out why he is doing so. I don't think he can avoid u forever since u guys live together.
Anonymous
April 13th, 2016 3:52am
Just calmly talk to him and let him know how you feel. Express yourself! Don't be afraid he's your husband for a reason!
HeartfulJewel38
April 21st, 2016 7:34am
I write him a heartfelt and positive note to remind him that I am behind him and that I love him. That way, he can read and react privately and hopefully will ignite a spark to talk or cuddle.
SoulPastries
May 4th, 2016 7:16am
Speak out about how you feel. Communication is extremely important in relationships for both individuals. Also, is there something that might be going on in his life that might be causing this? Discussing your feelings may lead to a happier life for the both of you. #teamwork
warmSunshine17
May 5th, 2016 12:22pm
By accepting yourself and your flaws hence your mistake and failure helps you improve,talk to someone and lay off all what is in your chest this help one reduces the burden inside.talk to your inner voice and you can identify your positive intention is and also it help prevent you to make other or same mistake.Remind yourself no one is perfect and learn from your mistake
AphroditeTheFriendly
May 12th, 2016 3:15am
Talk to him about it, maybe there's something that's bothering him, sometimes, things needs to be talked out
Anonymous
May 13th, 2016 5:45pm
Have you considered maybe setting up a date? Or, maybe giving your spouse some space if they seem stressed?
Anonymous
May 20th, 2016 9:22pm
You should ask him if everything's okay. Maybe he is having difficulties at work and he doesn't want to tell you. Try to talk because talking is the only way we have to solve discussions.
radiantFlamingo19
May 22nd, 2016 12:01pm
It is horrible to be ignored by a person we love. Try telling your partner what you wish for "Please, talk to me, even after a fight" or something similar. Try that more than one time. It is hard to make changes. If it doesn't work, consider that ignoring someone is often a symptom of an narcisstic or abusive person. If you are in an abusive relationship, please reach out and seek help.
FaithDaLibra
May 26th, 2016 4:48pm
Mmm , Sometimes when this happen's there is no or little communication going on between you both and that what makes an relationship go down hill . Sit down and ask him what's going on . If he is having another affair LEAVE HIM !
Anonymous
May 28th, 2016 7:25pm
When your husband ignores you, you need to confront him with your issue. You have to open up to be understood.
Anonymous
June 2nd, 2016 8:46am
Talk to him. Ask him why he's doing this and how it makes you feel. Don't do it in an angry tone. Ok
gracefulMelody72
June 3rd, 2016 2:57pm
Take a first step talk to him about your problems and give him your time and to your relationship and everything will be fine
miraculousNatural14
June 5th, 2016 3:04pm
you try to play the role of loving and respecting him and you don't show your love in all your acts
Lauren1035
June 6th, 2016 4:22am
That sounds like that would be very upsetting when he ignores you. First I would suggest trying to understand why he is doing this so together you can come up with a solution. Sometimes we can act in ways that isn't meant to affect others negatively so explaining to your husband how he makes you feel when he ignores you might bring about positive change if he doesnt realize what he is doing. If he is ignoring you it may be hard to have this conversation so perhaps writing him a letter or a text may be more helpful for you to get him to hear what you have to say
Anonymous
June 15th, 2016 11:55pm
I would recommend talking to him about how his actions make you feel. If he does not try to improve upon this, find a good therapist to talk to. Try to get him to come with you to see said therapist about your marital issues.
Anonymous
June 25th, 2016 7:16am
You need to tak to him. Communication is key in any relationship. Find out why you feel that way and what he thinks. Then, work together as a couple to overcome it.
Anonymous
June 30th, 2016 3:40am
You need to talk to your husband one-on-one about him ignoring you and why you think he is ignoring you.
Anonymous
July 7th, 2016 4:38pm
Try confronting him about it! He probably isn't doing it on purpose. Don't be angry, try to be calm and collected.
freshFriend18
August 3rd, 2016 1:56pm
I would think, something is wrong but you have to try and find a way to talk about it without putting him on the defensive. Find out if he needs space, sometimes we all need space and maybe he just feeling distracted. When you get a chance talk to him and be honest .
michaelp1976
August 4th, 2016 12:07pm
I find something to help keep me busy and my mind off of it. Anything that I can do to put my mind at ease is helpful.
AlwaysHereToHelp2232
August 5th, 2016 3:01am
Give him a little time. There may be something bothering him and wait until he is ready to talk, then ask him if everything is okay
Anonymous
August 6th, 2016 4:30am
Communicate with your husband in a calm and respectful manner that you feel ignored. It's possible he does not realize he is ignoring you and that a misunderstanding can be avoided. Say something like "Hey, sometimes when you ___, it makes me feel ___," such as "When you ignore me like this, it makes me feel really frustrated and unloved," or "When you don't respond to me, it makes me feel like you don't care about what I said," or maybe even a different angle of "Is there a better time we can talk about (or do) this that you will be able to pay more attention?", or "Did I say something wrong or upset you?" Open and honest communication is essential in a relationship and takes two people to work effectively. Good luck!
Anonymous
August 7th, 2016 5:38pm
Show him a chance expressing all the kind feelings you have for him, it would be both a warning and a sign saying "Yo! I'm here too, my love! Please don't discard me".
Anonymous
August 11th, 2016 10:45pm
Ask him why he's ignoring you and if he still ignores you, pretend like you're ignoring him too or talk to us!