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What do I do when my husband ignores me?

161 Answers
Last Updated: 12/05/2020 at 3:26am
1 Tip to Feel Better
United States
Moderated by

Melissa Hudson, MS Ed, PhD(c), LMFT

Marriage & Family Therapist

I work with clients of diverse backgrounds on a multitude of concerns. My approach is, at times, directive, yet always curious, nonjudgmental, collaborative, and validating.

Top Rated Answers
TheLuckyFox
August 12th, 2016 11:28pm
Sometimes it can be especially hard being in a committed relationship, and being married certainly counts! When we're in these types of relationships, all of life's stresses and tribulations can compound our relationships in a negative way. Keeping calm and remember why you're together, and trying to reach out to create a bridge of communication can go a long way. Don't forget if you feel like counseling for you both is a good idea it certainly is a worthwhile option and can really help put things back in perspective for both parties involved!
IntuitiveDrops
August 31st, 2016 9:35am
It could be that he doesn´t want to deal with your concerns. I would suggest you try to focus on what you can do for yourself. Sometimes, there is only so much you can do to improve communication.
lovelyEnergy55
August 31st, 2016 4:20pm
I find something to do just for myself,I pamper myself. Take sometime out for me. Then I talk with him let him know how I feel and just talk
BhEARd
September 1st, 2016 4:36am
When I am feeling ignored, I like to politely ask the person for a moment of their time, and then express that it does not feel good to be ignored. People often can't hear me though, and I might mumble at times, so I know not to feel bad if I simply have to repeat myself.
Anonymous
September 1st, 2016 1:52pm
Well, that depends on WHY he ignores you. As he is your husband and you guys might wanna spend your lives together, you must talk to him about how you feel when he ignores you. Now if he ignores you anyway there is something called self love. Start loving yourself and ignore the ignorance.
EsmeRose
September 1st, 2016 6:30pm
Kindly ask him to listen to you and have a chat about why he ignores you and ask him to stop. Ignoring one another in a relationship is unhealthy. Communication is key in this situation. Try to talk to him about this.
Anonymous
September 2nd, 2016 10:33am
Try to speak to him. Sometimes people pretend that they are not listening to you, but in fact, they are. Ask him what's wrong, or result to letters or more. Good luck.
xdogax
September 4th, 2016 4:38pm
Talk to him. Always, always, always talk to him. Communication is the key of everything. If he deny it, take professional help.
Anonymous
September 9th, 2016 9:53am
You stay calm and relaxed maybe he has just had a rough day today and doesn't really want to talk about it
Anonymous
September 18th, 2016 5:14am
Just walk away give him some time he will come around its best to give personal space it helps give you and him both time to think and cool off
magnanimousButton53
September 23rd, 2016 10:55am
Just give some time since there might be somethings which might be affecting him. When he is stable talk to him about your feelings.
SunnyQ
October 1st, 2016 8:19am
Try to approach him different way you did and communicate about your issue. Try to listen to him then talk to him later
Anonymous
October 5th, 2016 11:59am
When he ignores you make sure to understand why he is ignoring you. If it was something that you did be sure to apologize and let him know how your feeling. Marriage isn't easy and we usually need time to calm down others do it differently so don't harass him, even if you tell him and he doesn't respond know that he heard you. Just give him some time.
2cupsofteaa
October 9th, 2016 7:52pm
Communicate - definitely the key to any relationship. Tell him how you feel and perhaps a conversation will open up more insights into why you feel like you're being ignored.
PsYchologica90
October 22nd, 2016 9:04am
Approach him and ask him why he is ignoring you or if he has recently experienced any problems. Alternatively if things aren't working like that seek a marriage counsellor to help you find out what the problem is and guide you towards a solution.
Anonymous
October 27th, 2016 10:43am
go talk to my friends and keep myself busy with other things than my husband so that he does not feel I pressure him
Anonymous
October 28th, 2016 6:41am
Open communication is the best thing in a marriage so you could try telling your husband that you wish he spent more quality time with you and was more invested in listening to your stories about the challenges and concerns you have. If he does not agree with you that he does that infrequently, try to discuss with him why you two have a different understanding regarding the amount of attention each of you need to pay to each other. Hope this is helpful at all:)
mindfulzen15
November 9th, 2016 5:43am
Talk to him about it. Sit him down, tell him how you feel. Be reasonable. Only talk if you're safe with him, though.
CreativeRaccoon
December 29th, 2016 4:02am
Sometimes people need space. Sometimes when you've had a disagreement with your parter they don't say anything back to you- because they're not ready, or they realize what they were about to say was mean, or whatever. Even if you parter identified this quiet time as ignoring you maybe they just don't know how to tell you they need a break from the topic of conversation. In my experience it's best to give space and then ask when they think they might be ready. It's hard to say much more because everyone is going to experience different circumstances.
freshEnergy86
February 5th, 2017 11:43am
i think that you should ask him about it... in a relationship communication is key. If there are problems you should always try and solve them, by doing otherwise you're pushing each other away.
Huggablepanda
March 1st, 2017 8:43am
Give him time, and understand him. If he's busy or something due to work just dont give him more stress by telling him that he's ignorant. Just give time and if you think ,things aint right go ask him straight. And discuss the problem, sort it out and help him with matters.
Anonymous
March 8th, 2017 8:55pm
It depends on the context. When does he usually ignore you? Is it something you say or is it something you do? When are the times when he is unresponsive. Look at those moments and also... don't be afraid to speak up and let him know how you are feeling. The only way to grow in trust when it comes to relationships is communication.
Anonymous
March 16th, 2017 9:05am
I really feels bad when someone close ignores us. Why don't you tell me more about the circumstances that happen to you?
adaptiveSunrise22
March 22nd, 2017 12:55am
Not my husband, but my long-term boyfriend. Sometimes he ignores me while is is very concentrated on some other task. Other times, we just had a fight and he needs time to himself to sort things out in his head. What I do when he ignores me, is I challenge myself not to take it personally, and to accept it as an opportunity to reach within myself. I set a timer on my phone for 15-30 minutes and do not speak or message anyone in this time. Instead I grab a book or a pen and paper and think about my own state of mind, what my needs are, what makes me happy. When the timer is up, I'm more refreshed and not sad or angry about being "ignored," plus I did fun things like reading a book. Because my boyfriend is a good boyfriend, after the time has passed, he pays attention to me again and I pay attention to him, we can resume our previous conversation and really focus on each other.
HereToListen333
April 5th, 2017 7:10am
Try to gain his attention. Think back to when you two were first together or try gaining his attention by doing something that he enjoys.
EstefaniaVelasco
May 21st, 2017 5:34pm
I would tell him straight away that his attitude bothered me. If he loves me, he will understand that I need him to take care of me. If not, then I'm more likely to stay away from him. If someone loves you, a basic thing like caring for you should not be a problem, and anyone deserves to feel loved.
avanef
June 8th, 2017 12:16am
Talk to him. Communication is ALWAYS something that'll keep any relationship stable and solid. Even if he's doing it on purpose, still try to talk to him. Those things are very important and shows you care and want things to be okay and right between you two.
beautifulFreedom39
July 12th, 2017 6:35am
Confront him, make sure he sees your point of view so that he can acknowledge your feelings. Communication is key.
SoulHealing
August 11th, 2017 7:27pm
Try to drag his attention by doing the things that make him happy. Renew your look, food , decoration, but the best is, renew your words, silence, ways, care
Anonymous
September 13th, 2017 7:50pm
Find a relaxed time to calmly discuss it with him. Don't be accusatory but simply tell him you are really missing interacting with him.