What is the best way to stop controlling behavior?
Last Updated: 04/04/2017 at 5:32pm
Lianne Kirby, MA in Counselling Psychology
I believe everyone should have the opportunity for their voice to be heard. I use a trauma informed, person centred approach in counselling.
Top Rated Answers
Set clear boundaries, be firm, reinforce boundaries, stick to rules and guidelines, don't wavier once because then the line gets blurred. Throughout all of this, communication, honestly, and trust is key.
Wait 15 seconds before responding in a tense situation. This allows you to process what demand (or control) has been exerted upon you and formulate an appropriate response to keep yourself safe and begin to break a pattern.
Behavioural aspect relates to personal moments and the environment one has lived in. If one has gone through very tough times say since childhood, chances are that person become STRONG to deal with any issue. However a person who has been in total security becomes vulnerable to smallest things in life. It's better to look for a hobby, chat and talk with friends, going for a walk, meditation, Yoga etc. will definitely ease the Living way.
Take a step back and realize you cannot control everything. The only thing you have 100% control over is yourself. Life just happens so let it!
You need to be assertive. It's not going to get better by hoping it will, action needs to be taken..
Depends if you're talking about your own or someone else's. If it's your own, start thinking about listening to people more. Once you start honestly listening to people rather than imposing your views on them, it can influence your own behaviour. The best way to stop someone else from being overly controlling towards you, is find someone else to be around. Or if you can't right now, make a plan, and get away from them.
by developing skills such as listening to other, communication, empathy and most importantly to understand the basic feelings (sadness, happiness..etc)
tell the person that is being controlling that there behaviour isn't very nice and maybe they should try to change it
I have had more than one man try to control me. I told them I wasn't looking for a daddy, but a partner. That I can make my own decisions, and did make my own decisions.
This is a complex question as controlling behavior like many things falls on a spectrum. Many times maintaining appropriate boundaries in a consistent manner helps. The boundaries must be clearly defined, communicated and enforced. If the controlling behavior is extreme, harmful or creates a dangerous environment, it would be advisable to seek assistance from a well qualified professional as everyone's safety is the priority.
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